Choose the period

Choose a category

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years dumped me for a chick I shared a hospital room with for 2 months. I introduced them. FML

by anonymous / 10/12/2011 at 2:11am / Canada / Love

Today, I watched my mother tell a man that the holocaust was "a good thing" and "necessary for population control". That man was my girlfriend's father. Who is Jewish. FML

by Colby / 11/15/2013 at 11:59am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML

by Anonymous / 03/30/2015 at 6:30am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my sister asked me if any of my family members had commented on my recent weight gain. I told her no not really. Her reply? "They must just being saying it behind your back then." FML

by lilsis / 01/31/2010 at 12:38am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, my garage was flooded. Everything was ruined. My garage also happens to be my study, in which my entire art coursework was drying. My exam is tomorrow and all I have to hand in is a pile of mushy paper. FML

by lottielondon / 05/04/2011 at 9:47am / United Kingdom (London) / Work

Today, my boss made me cover for him by working two extra hours, because he had to rush home early to deal with an "emergency". The emergency was taking a shit, because he claims to have a phobia of doing them anywhere but at home. FML

by AFSDALK:AFSDQWE / 11/23/2013 at 1:33pm / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, my girlfriend was upset, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her how much I love her and how beautiful she is. After a minute, her face started to light up. I thought it had worked until I realized that she was being cheered up by the friends she was talking to online. FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2009 at 10:50pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I had misplaced my cell phone. I decided the best course of action would be to dial the number from my house phone and wait for it to ring to locate it. Somebody answered when I called. It wasn't the wrong number and I had a brief conversation with the man that stole my phone. FML

by callerid / 08/03/2009 at 7:45am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got back from a 3 and a half week trip to South Africa to do volunteer work with children in townships. My parents forgot to pick me up, and I had to sit there by myself and wait for them, while 80 people of the same organization got loving hugs from their proud parents. FML

by leonieNL / 08/12/2010 at 10:50am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Work

Today, I was attacked by clowns at work. I don't work at the circus. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2011 at 11:27am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, I was walking by the side of the interstate because my car broke down. A nice young man stopped and asked if I was tired of walking. I said yes, to which he replied, "Try jogging asshole" then laughed and drove off. It was raining balls. FML

by WetWalking / 03/21/2013 at 9:31am / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, I had the questionable honor of explaining the difference between "your" and "you're" to my boss, and very diplomatically make her see why her poor grasp of language could affect our credibility as a communication agency. I'm Swedish, and English is my third language. She's American. FML

by grammarnazi-forareason / 07/03/2013 at 2:48am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Work

Today, a customer wanted a military discount for buying two 39 cent Slim Jims. I work at an auto parts store. FML

by luvmypony / 08/26/2013 at 1:51am / United States (California) / Work