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Today, I woke up feeling extremely nauseous. When I started to feel better, I felt like I needed to spit. I went into the bathroom and opened the toilet to see someone had taken a giant crap the night before and forgotten to flush. The smell made me vomit all over my feet. FML

#7234315
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25534) - you deserved it (2965)

On 01/09/2010 at 11:11am - health - by Michelle (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend told me that her parents have a bet going on when we are going to break up. FML

#14381154
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25101) - you deserved it (2965)

On 12/29/2010 at 10:24am - love - by ... -

Today, I took my kids to the circus. We were having fun, right up until the point they saw an old man dressed as a clown, at which point they screamed, grabbed onto my shorts, and managed to accidentally pull them down. FML

#17396996
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23927) - you deserved it (2965)

On 08/07/2011 at 1:14pm - kids - by SheaLili - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my company is paying more for hors d'oeuvres at one party than I will receive for my entire year long internship. FML

#17579253
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21902) - you deserved it (2965)

On 08/25/2011 at 5:55pm - work - by OfficeSlave (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went directly from the shopping mall to the hospital. My sister had slammed my hand in the car door, all because I considered purchasing a dress that looked like something she might buy for herself. FML

#21235533
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39455) - you deserved it (2965)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:34am - health - by vicious_fashion (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, a would-be customer practically kicked my store door in, then got pissed and started throwing around insults after I told him that we were still closed, hence the closed sign. He claimed the sign was "confusing". FML

#21098658
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35598) - you deserved it (2964)

On 03/28/2014 at 4:11pm - work - by IDIOT (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me why I have "crotch acne". When I attempted to explain that I have razor bumps from shaving, he got mad and said I was lying and insecure about my obvious facial and bodily acne problem. FML

#6772428
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29617) - you deserved it (2963)

On 12/16/2009 at 12:15am - health - by RazorBumps (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, someone thought it would be funny to switch the signs on the bathroom doors. Fortunately, I knew which was the men's and went on in. The startled old woman inside, however, did not. FML

#8169403
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20958) - you deserved it (2963)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I hung out with the guy I've liked for the first time in 3 years. And when he left, I gave him a hug, he pushed me, I tripped, and hit my head into the wall. Then to save his embarassment, pushed me over onto the couch and pretended to rape me. FML

Today, I found out my daughter has a higher paid job in the same company I work in. I also found out she is dating my boss. FML

#14160788
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31021) - you deserved it (2964)

On 12/11/2010 at 12:10am - work - by Anonymous - Indonesia

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering mail, I was yelled at by a guy, who threatened to shoot me if I "trespassed" on his property. He made me toss his mail toward his porch from the street, before telling me to get lost. FML

#21046250
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36659) - you deserved it (2963)

On 01/31/2014 at 1:46pm - work - by fuckfuck (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I auditioned for a part in a play. I've been practicing for months, and was very excited. After I finished singing, the director whispered something to the other judges, and they all laughed. Hard. So much for the lead role. FML

#13881545
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20601) - you deserved it (2962)

On 11/17/2010 at 9:31pm - misc - by embarrassed -

Today, I was standing in a queue when an old lady turned, looked straight at me, and asked me to hold her bag. Confused, I took a hold of it. She started screaming for help claiming I was stealing her shopping. Turns out, she was talking to her husband behind me. FML

#7739701
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27686) - you deserved it (2962)

On 01/31/2010 at 9:46am - misc - by bthms - Sent from mobile version



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