Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML

#17373472
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44447) - you deserved it (3569)

On 08/05/2011 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Creeped_out_n_stuck (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a lecture about being lazy and not being active enough for my age, which ended with, "When I was your age, I was out every night having sex with anything that breathed." Thanks Gran. FML

#19745357
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29718) - you deserved it (3569)

On 06/06/2012 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by BrianTheLion89 - United States

Today, I burned my hand while making breakfast. As I staggered around the kitchen in agony, looking for some burn cream, my cat figured he'd latch onto said hand and drag his claws through the burn. FML

Today, I went into work happy about my supervising promotion. When I arrived at work, I realized that only one person had decided to come into work today, which meant I had to clean 15 rooms, and supervise myself. FML

#2214094
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40701) - you deserved it (3568)

On 05/23/2009 at 4:20pm - work - by jend (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend told me one of the main reasons he started dating me was because I have the same name as his ex, whose name he has tattooed on his back. FML

#14034734
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37701) - you deserved it (3568)

On 11/30/2010 at 10:50am - love - by tattooed (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I asked my wife for her computer password because my computer crashed. After minutes of begging she finally told me. Turns out that her password happens to be her ex's name. FML

#14227030
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32285) - you deserved it (3568)

On 12/16/2010 at 7:20pm - love - by expassword (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went out on a date with a girl. Everything was going well until I shared how my family was affected by the 2010 earthquake in Haiti. She immediately got up and left, calling me a liar. Apparently, I'm "too cute" to be of Haitian descent. What the hell? FML

Today, I had to wake my mom up. While she was naked. On the toilet. FML

Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML

#21271220
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38972) - you deserved it (3567)

On 10/05/2014 at 1:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, before work, I was quickly cleaning when I tripped and the side of my neck hit the countertop, causing a dark bruise. During work, people wouldn't stop giving me high fives for getting laid and I was too embarrassed to tell them truth that I'm not desirable, just clumsy. FML

#21277907
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32693) - you deserved it (3567)

On 10/14/2014 at 8:13pm - misc - by ForeverAlone - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML

#21512109
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19280) - you deserved it (3567)

On 01/06/2016 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonycock (man) - Qatar (Ad Dawhah)

Today, I was talking to my mom about when I have kids. I told her I may want two or three. She immediately cut me off and told me to stick to one, and that any more than that will be a burden. I am the second born child of my family. FML

#5035693
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40748) - you deserved it (3566)

On 09/04/2009 at 2:30am - misc - by pandabear93 - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me because he felt "our religious differences kept us apart." We've never talked about anything religious. Ever. FML

#13008973
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28418) - you deserved it (3566)

On 09/11/2010 at 8:39pm - love - by fmlimoverit - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: