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Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML

#20189885
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20701) - you deserved it (2910)

On 12/03/2012 at 7:38pm - misc - by FlyingFist - United States

Today, while in the restroom washing my hands, a girl decided to let one rip while in the stall. When she came out she gave me a dirty look of disgust and said, "At least wait until I leave." She and I were the only ones in the restroom. FML

#20841231
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43744) - you deserved it (2910)

On 08/17/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by mugres22 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 50-year-old mother borrowed my denim miniskirt to go to the bar. In return, she offered to let me borrow her red "f*** me" pumps whenever I needed them. FML

#4061190
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38207) - you deserved it (2909)

On 07/26/2009 at 7:51pm - misc - by mvp (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, MS Word kept crashing with a memory error, so I called tech support. Instead of actually fixing the problem, their tech wasted over an hour of my time defragmenting the hard drive, disabling the anti-virus, and downloading new video card drivers from some shady site, before giving up. FML

#18283702
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22317) - you deserved it (2909)

On 11/18/2011 at 7:48pm - work - by I quit (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I discovered my cat's favorite hobby: sitting butthole-first on my favorite makeup brush. FML

#19870178
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21716) - you deserved it (2909)

On 06/30/2012 at 4:10am - misc - by audreyav - United States (Oregon)

Today, I sat for 3 hours at my boyfriend's Christmas celebrations. He has 22 cousins. They open presents one at a time. In silence. I got nothing. FML

#6933166
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29264) - you deserved it (2908)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:28am - love - by Earths_Venus (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and after 10 seconds he gave up and said "This is more tiring than I expected". FML

#7518745
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21547) - you deserved it (2908)

On 01/23/2010 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boss asked me if I could work on Valentine's Day because there was no chance of me having a date. She's right. FML

#8007090
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31784) - you deserved it (2908)

On 02/08/2010 at 9:07am - love - by klala - Reserved

Today, I went on my honeymoon to Hawaii. My family decided to surprise my new husband and I by joining us on our vacation. FML

#3345356
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78558) - you deserved it (2907)

On 06/29/2009 at 8:57pm - misc - by marriedwithfamily (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. On our way to the Space Needle I was pulled over and promptly arrested. Apparently, I had recently purchased a car from a man who had robbed a jewelery store. The ring is now evidence. FML

#3860053
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55448) - you deserved it (2907)

On 07/18/2009 at 4:19pm - love - by diamondsareforever (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, we brought our Christmas tree inside to decorate. We decorated it, then went out to dinner as a family. Returning 2 hours later, we came back to find our living room to be occupied. Not with people. The tree had been filled with baby spiders, and they were all over the living room. FML

#6609748
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32603) - you deserved it (2907)

On 12/05/2009 at 12:15am - animals - by Worsttreeever (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I discovered my former boss from the job I quit 3 months is now my boss at my new job. He was the reason I quit my old job. FML

#11602306
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42941) - you deserved it (2907)

On 07/02/2010 at 12:21am - work - by lmao4eva93 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after being admitted to the emergency room for severe abdominal pain, my boyfriend shouted out in front of my parents, "At least she isn't pregnant!" FML

#17959837
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24156) - you deserved it (2908)

On 10/11/2011 at 1:43pm - health - by letmedienow - United States



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