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Today, my water broke. I called my mom, who had agreed to watch my other two kids while I went to the hospital. When I asked her to come over, she just said, "Sorry, now isn't a good time." FML

#20781242
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47857) - you deserved it (3268)

On 07/14/2013 at 12:32am - health - by Upset Mommy - United States

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

#6207441
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32292) - you deserved it (3267)

On 11/08/2009 at 2:26am - animals - by birdbath (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after having my car been broken into the day before because I didn't lock it, I made sure I locked my doors. When I got off shift and entered the parking lot, I noticed a brick had been thrown through my windshield and a note that said, "Nice Try". FML

#17037512
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41411) - you deserved it (3267)

On 07/09/2011 at 3:04am - misc - by JohnyP - United States (Ohio)

Today, my roommate asked for my opinion of her new painting. The same painting I hand-painted for over ten hours. She apparently thought it was a gift. She won't give it back. FML

#21251580
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39262) - you deserved it (3267)

On 09/04/2014 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I babysat the most annoying and obnoxious kids for almost eight hours, when the parents assured me that they would only be gone about three or so hours. After constant calling and worrying, they finally showed up at 11:30, completely drunk. The mother paid me with three dollars and a banana. FML

#3935872
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58269) - you deserved it (3266)

On 07/21/2009 at 6:17pm - kids - by GabsAlot829 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I asked my wife for her computer password because my computer crashed. After minutes of begging she finally told me. Turns out that her password happens to be her ex's name. FML

#14227030
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28711) - you deserved it (3266)

On 12/16/2010 at 7:20pm - love - by expassword (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was released from jail. I had helped a three year old girl get up after falling on a wet floor at the mall last night when the security guards tasered me. Only this morning did they tell me they had mistaken me for a child molester that looks a little bit like me. FML

#14710569
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44198) - you deserved it (3266)

On 01/25/2011 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it was a good show of etiquette to answer a text message from his ex, while he was still inside me. FML

#19573646
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31876) - you deserved it (3266)

On 05/04/2012 at 4:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, my daughter sat me down for a long talk. It turns out that she thinks she is the Chosen One. FML

Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML

#19942412
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35509) - you deserved it (3266)

On 07/15/2012 at 7:13pm - kids - by Zora (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, while grieving over the loss of my Grandpa, I called my girlfriend for comfort. After I had cheered up, she said, "Don't worry, he went to Hell anyway." FML

#20679293
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43469) - you deserved it (3266)

On 05/22/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by SadPuppy - United States

Today, I learned that the gap between the elevator and the 6th floor landing of my apartment building is approximately one key's width wide. FML

#5525122
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39623) - you deserved it (3265)

On 09/28/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, someone gave me a note to pass along to a girl in class. The note had the girl's name surrounded by hearts. When I gave it to her, she assumed it was a love note from me, and said "Not in a million years, fat ass" before I could say it was from someone else. FML

#8568837
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33144) - you deserved it (3265)

On 02/22/2010 at 9:46pm - love - by Crappyfayman (man) - United States (Arizona)



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