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Today, my parents got a new dog. It attacks me every time I laugh. FML

#18714310
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27231) - you deserved it (3132)

On 01/05/2012 at 7:06am - animals - by Imgonnahaveabf - United States

Today, my ex called me up to suggest that we become friends, only so that she could introduce me to her new boyfriend. FML

#21375599
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29047) - you deserved it (3133)

On 03/16/2015 at 10:36am - love - by xswitch74 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a New Year's party with my boyfriend. Later into the night, he got drunk, and left me there to go to another party with his friends. I have no car, and no way to get home. FML

#14417379
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22551) - you deserved it (3131)

On 01/01/2011 at 12:27am - misc - by Alana - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML

#19971025
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29599) - you deserved it (3131)

On 07/21/2012 at 10:30pm - health - by Luna - United States (New York)

Today, my fiancé and I broke up, and he won't answer my calls or texts. I don't want him back; he has my dog. FML

#19702811
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28296) - you deserved it (3131)

On 05/30/2012 at 1:25am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had my first orgasm. I also came to the realization that whenever I orgasm I get an uncontrollable case of hiccups for at least half an hour afterwards. FML

#20145633
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27835) - you deserved it (3131)

On 11/03/2012 at 11:52am - intimacy - by hiccups - United States (New York)

Today, my landlord asked to borrow my truck to move some furniture. When she returned it, I noticed she had filled the gas tank up. I thanked her for doing so, and she handed me the receipt and said "just add it to next month's rent". FML

#4974639
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43292) - you deserved it (3130)

On 09/01/2009 at 11:07am - money - by overdriven07 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, at an Aunt's wake, my five year old son walked up to the coffin, and, with the whole family around him, exclaimed, "Well that's good, I was wondering where she's been." FML

#13635730
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28439) - you deserved it (3130)

On 10/29/2010 at 4:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned that I'm allergic to hornets. I also learned that when your mom sprays a hornets' nest, and they come after you, that jumping in the pool doesn't help. They hover and wait for you to surface. FML

#17248199
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36444) - you deserved it (3130)

On 07/25/2011 at 12:14am - health - by sisi9999 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that my creepy neighbor paid a guy to install a camera in my bathroom. It's been there for three months. The guy he paid? My brother. FML

#20741960
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54245) - you deserved it (3130)

On 06/23/2013 at 12:37am - misc - by part time all the time - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was preparing a customer's meal in my restaurant's kitchen, when I choked on my own saliva and went into a coughing fit. The head chef, who's always hated my guts, accused me of trying to hock a loogie into the meal and fired me on the spot. FML

#20807935
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42642) - you deserved it (3130)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:23pm - work - by fuckthisandfuckthatandfuckyoutoo (man) - United States

Today, my mother had a full-on hissy fit because of the clothes I was wearing. Not because she thought they were inappropriate, but because I was "stealing her look." FML

#20769263
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39796) - you deserved it (3130)

On 07/07/2013 at 7:41pm - misc - by malicious_melons - United States (California)

Today, my relatives won't acknowledge my existence unless I'm posting a picture of my cat. They only talk about the cat. FML

#20946616
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35055) - you deserved it (3130)

On 11/05/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Steiner (man) - United States (New York)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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