Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I sprained my ankle while playing soccer. I still have to walk home. In the rain. FML

#7742819
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22647) - you deserved it (3008)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:07pm - health - by snidpea - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found that there is nothing worse than coming home to a snake slithering across your kitchen floor. Except when it disappears into your cabinets. FML

#17391644
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27333) - you deserved it (3008)

On 08/06/2011 at 10:49pm - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, when my mother-in-law told me I was losing weight, my husband started laughing. FML

#18430491
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25500) - you deserved it (3008)

On 12/04/2011 at 8:13pm - love - by brittrod - United States

Today, every "entry level" job in my field is now requiring 2-5 years experience. I don't think they understand what "entry level" actually means. FML

#21078902
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39961) - you deserved it (3008)

On 03/05/2014 at 4:37pm - work - by mr1234 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, was my wedding day. Right before I walked down the aisle in my gorgeous white dress the woman who did my makeup saw a blemish. She went to squirt concealer on her finger and squirted the orange concealer all over my dress. FML

#3503647
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56210) - you deserved it (3007)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:48pm - love - by squirt (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML

#19908748
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27830) - you deserved it (3007)

On 07/08/2012 at 7:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

#19650159
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26504) - you deserved it (3007)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, I woke up at 3:00 am to the sound of a bird screeching. Turns out, my roommate bought a parrot without consulting me first. Even better, my roommate expects me to pay for half of the bird's expenses. FML

#21097210
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39576) - you deserved it (3007)

On 03/26/2014 at 7:44pm - animals - by In urgent need of a new roommate - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was fined because my son pushed the alarm button in the elevator. Why? There was a spider in there. FML

#7113361
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25849) - you deserved it (3007)

On 01/02/2010 at 10:22pm - kids - by arachnidphobia (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came down with painful sores in my mouth, just after having gotten over a cold. Apparently I'm allergic to the cough drops I've been eating for the past week to make myself feel better. FML

#15289353
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26399) - you deserved it (3007)

On 03/13/2011 at 12:52am - misc - by Rawrssa (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my roommate informed me that one of her scorpions is loose in our apartment again. Great. FML

#17895796
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30971) - you deserved it (3007)

On 10/03/2011 at 1:58pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, at exactly midnight, I get a text from my boyfriend saying we were done. I had just seen him 4 hours ago when we were out celebrating my birthday, and asked why he didnt just tell me then. He replies 'I couldn't break up with you on your birthday but i wanted it to be over ASAP' FML

#2323618
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50581) - you deserved it (3005)

On 05/26/2009 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I drove to a party after getting my car back from the shop. A thunderstorm started as I made my way there and upon arriving, the power went out. The guests decided to watch the storm from the front windows when someone mentioned how funny it would be if a tree fell on my car. Seconds later, one did. FML

#111850
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61089) - you deserved it (3005)

On 02/23/2009 at 3:08am - misc - by Jessie (woman) - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: