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Today, I had to slowly explain to my son that an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML

#20481338
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27486) - you deserved it (3061)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a man at the comic book store I work at asked me if Spider-Man is based on a real story, and verbally abused me when, thinking he was joking, I laughed. He wasn't. FML

#20887394
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34053) - you deserved it (3061)

On 09/19/2013 at 1:35am - work - by some people... - United States

Today, a middle-aged woman came into the shoe shop where I work, and asked me to help her put on a pair of boots that were obviously too small. Simultaneously as I knelt down by her feet, she booted me in the face while we tried to get them on. FML

#13933361
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22443) - you deserved it (3060)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out the reason I can't get a job. My previous employer didn't know my name, so when places I applied to called there for a reference, my boss said he had no recollection of me working there. FML

#11010469
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28788) - you deserved it (3060)

On 06/06/2010 at 1:36pm - work - by duko3000 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's my mom's birthday. I woke up at midnight to be the first to tell her happy birthday. When I awoke in the morning, I decided to bake her a cake. Little did I know my whole family was going out to lunch to celebrate. I wasn't invited. FML

#15067596
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36769) - you deserved it (3060)

On 02/21/2011 at 5:20pm - misc - by thissucks - United States (California)

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

#17628781
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31951) - you deserved it (3060)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)

Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML

#19379891
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21540) - you deserved it (3060)

On 03/31/2012 at 12:22am - health - by GetHardOrGoHome - United States (Ohio)

Today, while lying in bed cuddling with my cat after getting stood up, I found out that even 80-year-old Charles Manson is engaged to be married. FML

#21301256
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30325) - you deserved it (3061)

On 11/18/2014 at 5:41am - love - by jessiejaybee (woman) - United States

Today, I graduated from college with two undergrad degrees in biochem and wildlife biology, with high distinction. My mom told me she had found me a job at a petting zoo. I thought she was joking. She then said sternly "I want grandkids. At least you will meet girls there." FML

#1798855
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45380) - you deserved it (3059)

On 05/10/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I got my braces off. I also got my tongue pierced. Both by my orthodontist. FML

#18273711
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36647) - you deserved it (3059)

On 11/17/2011 at 4:27pm - health - by OUCH. - United States

Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML

#19730259
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31069) - you deserved it (3059)

On 06/04/2012 at 12:34am - misc - by whattheheck - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I saw a my neighbor being mugged on the street. I wanted to help, so I tried to yank her purse from the mugger's hands. I guess my neighbor didn't see me clearly, because she thought I was another mugger and kicked my directly in the happy sacks. FML

#6452828
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27983) - you deserved it (3058)

On 11/25/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was stripped of my starting position on my high school basketball team. The reason? I was three minutes late to practice. Why was I late? My coach called me five minutes before practice and made me get him a coffee or else he wouldn't start me. FML

#14430499
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36641) - you deserved it (3058)

On 01/01/2011 at 10:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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