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Today, as a recovering alcoholic, I called my brother to share the news that I've been sober for a month. He invited me to a bar to celebrate. FML

#18752093
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28925) - you deserved it (2919)

On 01/08/2012 at 11:07pm - health - by Jonny - United States (California)

Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML

#20668592
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45860) - you deserved it (2919)

On 05/17/2013 at 5:25am - misc - by Jololol - United States

Today, I was on the subway, when the girl opposite me suddenly started shouting and accusing me of photographing her. I was reading a book on my phone, and I showed her the screen, but I got shoved around anyway by another guy, who threatened to report me for being a pervert. FML

#21082304
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38978) - you deserved it (2919)

On 03/09/2014 at 3:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, a would-be customer practically kicked my store door in, then got pissed and started throwing around insults after I told him that we were still closed, hence the closed sign. He claimed the sign was "confusing". FML

#21098658
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35017) - you deserved it (2919)

On 03/28/2014 at 4:11pm - work - by IDIOT (man) - United States

Today, after months of job hunting, I started a new job in a deli. I've been a vegetarian since I was 13, but it was the only job I could find. Turns out, I'm allergic to the preservatives they use, as my fingers now resemble sausages. Guess it's time to start job hunting again. FML

Today, my 15 year old sister came home at 4am totally stoned. My parents treated her really nicely and woke me up. I'm now grounded until I go college for being a bad influence. I volunteer at schools to talk about abusing drugs. FML

#5229708
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49221) - you deserved it (2918)

On 09/13/2009 at 2:19pm - kids - by BigSister (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my step-mom yelled at me for an hour, calling me a slut because our male dog saw me naked. FML

Today, my wife and I received confirmation that she has postpartum depression. When sharing this with the family, my mother exclaimed "I told you she was a psycho!" Now my wife is crying louder and more often than our newborn. Thanks, mom. FML

#14383420
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33393) - you deserved it (2918)

On 12/29/2010 at 3:03pm - health - by ppd_sucks (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML

#17982026
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37569) - you deserved it (2918)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved

Today, I found out that due to the fact that I got divorced, the insurance for my car is going up. A year after she took everything, she is still costing me money. FML

#18922486
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23774) - you deserved it (2918)

On 01/27/2012 at 1:54am - money - by dust - Japan

Today, my 4-year-old son cut half of my hair when I was asleep because he thought I would look better that way. FML

#19990341
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21674) - you deserved it (2918)

On 07/29/2012 at 4:11am - kids - by ellieowenie - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad screamed at me because I've been "spending too much money". He's been out of a job for 4 months and I've been giving him 300 dollars a month to help pay for bills... and his beer. FML

#8551677
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29555) - you deserved it (2917)

On 02/22/2010 at 11:38am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I found out I've been incorrectly sorting thousands of papers for the past two weeks. My boss wanted them sorted by date, but the co-worker who instructed me said to sort them into alphabetical order just to watch me fail. FML

#11927489
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35047) - you deserved it (2917)

On 07/16/2010 at 7:48pm - work - by MSURebel70 (man) - United States (West Virginia)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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