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Today, I checked my email after a week of no cell reception or internet while I was stuck at a family holiday cottage. There was an email offering me the RA job I've been trying to get for almost a year, telling me congratulations and to reply by Friday if I accepted. Last Friday. FML

#6960951
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26124) - you deserved it (3099)

On 12/26/2009 at 7:34pm - work - by Humbug (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I applied for a dental insurance that claims "you cannot be denied". I was denied. FML

#16464062
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29595) - you deserved it (3099)

On 06/02/2011 at 3:26am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML

#17775098
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22294) - you deserved it (3099)

On 09/18/2011 at 8:23pm - love - by DeadScared (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got mugged at Disney World, the happiest place on Earth. FML

#19434352
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33789) - you deserved it (3099)

On 04/09/2012 at 1:15am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I left for a one and a half month trip to Japan with my boyfriend. He promptly broke up with me the first night in the hotel. When asked why he couldn't have waited until the trip was over, he said he didn't want to create "false memories". FML

#20729993
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43653) - you deserved it (3099)

On 06/16/2013 at 7:22pm - love - by VacationRuined (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, a drunk man walked into my house at 2pm, screaming out, "Honey, I'm home!" He had the wrong house, but it looks like I've finally met my new neighbour. FML

#20895601
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36693) - you deserved it (3099)

On 09/25/2013 at 12:35pm - misc - by nicetomeetyou2 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because he thought he heard another guy in the room when he called me, and that I'm cheating on him. The guy he heard was a character from a cartoon my sister was watching. FML

#20958917
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40290) - you deserved it (3099)

On 11/15/2013 at 5:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend at the store. Before I knew what was happening, he'd sniffed me and started whimpering about how I don't smell like I used to. He does this kind of crazy shit all the time. FML

#21324827
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29778) - you deserved it (3099)

On 12/26/2014 at 6:06pm - love - by GOAWAY - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out my girlfriend is bulimic. Like that wasn't bad enough, I found out because she spent all of our rent money on food. FML

#21345004
111 comments

Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML

#3129056
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51135) - you deserved it (3098)

On 06/22/2009 at 8:21pm - work - by the_captain (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my ex fiancée, who left me six months ago, asked if I'd mind if she used the wedding dress I bought her for our wedding. She's just gotten engaged again. FML

#15604755
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37085) - you deserved it (3098)

On 04/02/2011 at 12:44pm - love - by Jon (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a hornet thought it would be fun to fly into a candle that I had lit. As the hornet burned to death, it flung its charred body at my face, which is more painful than it sounds. FML

#20936891
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39693) - you deserved it (3098)

On 10/28/2013 at 4:18pm - misc - by Asshole hornet - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to a coworker's wedding. Instead of getting to celebrate their marriage, we spent most of the service being lectured by the priest on how women are a freak by-product of "God's masterpiece design" and are the cause of all the world's problems. FML

#21233096
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36053) - you deserved it (3098)

On 08/09/2014 at 4:56am - misc - by Anonymous - Malawi



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