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Today, I was excited to have a window seat on my three hour flight to New York. When I got to my row, I noticed the screaming newborn occupying the seat in front of me, and a pair of toddlers behind me. I then looked to my seat to find I have no window. FML

#15351755
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33949) - you deserved it (3579)

On 03/17/2011 at 12:56pm - misc - by lalalalalala - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw my neighbor of twelve years at the grocery store. Being friendly, I went over to say hello. After I did, she responded by saying that she didn't know me but I look familiar. Finally, she remembered why I'm familiar saying that I look like the dorky guy from Two and a Half Men. FML

#16294249
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30355) - you deserved it (3579)

On 05/22/2011 at 8:18am - misc - by Greig - United States (Ohio)

Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML

#16687724
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42848) - you deserved it (3579)

On 06/16/2011 at 12:19am - love - by Ari (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had an interview for my dream job. I was offered coffee and a donut. It was going well until I took a bite of the donut and started choking on it. I coughed so hard I ended up vomiting into his garbage can. FML

#19781489
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27107) - you deserved it (3579)

On 06/13/2012 at 10:50am - work - by lonelyharts86 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after listening to a group of my friends ranting on about how much they love babies and can't wait to have them, I got to witness their looks of horror and disgust as I expressed my desire to not have children. I also happened to be the only girl there. FML

#21335310
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32181) - you deserved it (3579)

On 01/11/2015 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I discovered the worst possible situation in which to get explosive diarrhea: on a 9-hour transatlantic flight. Next to an attractive single guy. FML

#1094822
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69128) - you deserved it (3578)

On 04/18/2009 at 7:11pm - health - by crapgirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was working, ripping siding off a house. I pulled off a sheet that was over my head. I got rained with what I thought was woodchips that was behind the siding. Turns out they were dead grasshoppers. Guess what I found in my bra after work. FML

#9178637
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32160) - you deserved it (3578)

On 03/18/2010 at 1:45am - work - by xUnluckyx - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom told my abusive ex-boyfriend, whom I broke up with 5 days ago, that he is always welcome at my house. She "misses him". FML

#16010134
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50400) - you deserved it (3578)

On 05/01/2011 at 9:05pm - love - by exnotwelcome19 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my water broke. I called my mom, who had agreed to watch my other two kids while I went to the hospital. When I asked her to come over, she just said, "Sorry, now isn't a good time." FML

#20781242
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51218) - you deserved it (3578)

On 07/14/2013 at 12:32am - health - by Upset Mommy - United States

Today, this weird kid in class asked me on a date. He claims to be a werewolf. His excuse for not being able to turn into one? A "rare disease." His excuse for everyone rejecting him? "Friend-zoning bitches." I was the last resort even for a jackoff "nice guy" werewolf. FML

#20829503
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39755) - you deserved it (3578)

On 08/09/2013 at 6:13pm - misc - by WHAT A NICE GUY YOU ARE, SIR SHITSPAWN!!!1! (woman) - United States

Today, I had an interview scheduled for 10:05. When I got there, someone was talking to them, so I sat down to wait. Little did I know this wait would be 45 minutes. I got told to go home and that I'd be rescheduled. FML

#20963490
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43198) - you deserved it (3578)

On 11/19/2013 at 4:07pm - work - by innocent72 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realised that my boyfriend gets a boner every time I cry. FML

Today, I came back from a two week vacation. As I walked in the door, my boyfriend greeted me with a "Hey, honey! Could you clean the crockpot?" It still had the chicken in it from my going away dinner. FML



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