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Today, I was at my sister's wedding reception. My boyfriend of 3 years decided to give a toast to the happy couple. He was drunk and confessed his undying love to my sister. FML

#16643815
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43428) - you deserved it (3385)

On 06/13/2011 at 12:12pm - love - by Uhh (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my fiancée and I were selecting our wedding cake. The wedding is now off since I refused to buy her the "dream" wedding cake she wanted because it was chocolate. She called me childish and cheap. I'm highly allergic to chocolate. FML

#8642847
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40156) - you deserved it (3384)

On 02/25/2010 at 4:47pm - misc - by Ringless - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML

#8841387
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39126) - you deserved it (3384)

On 03/05/2010 at 7:54am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my crush and I were volunteering at a local farm. He confessed to me that I'm one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen. Just as he leaned in to kiss me, I lost my footing and fell into a pile of horse shit. He just stood there, pointing and laughing. FML

#20109154
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29414) - you deserved it (3384)

On 10/09/2012 at 2:43pm - love - by FarmerGirl - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was having a conversation with my mother during which I described something as being pungent. She thought I had made up the word, so I grabbed the dictionary to show her that I hadn't. She then became enraged, threw the dictionary at my head and told me never to talk to her again. FML

#20463921
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32856) - you deserved it (3384)

On 01/17/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by Mizzaroo - United States (Washington)

Today, while clearing stuff out of the basement, I found my ex-wife's old electronic diary device from the '90s. I found the charger, powered it up, and had soon read all about out she'd been cheating on me for almost half our marriage with the guy she's now married to. FML

#21313160
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39773) - you deserved it (3384)

On 12/07/2014 at 2:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Galway)

Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML

#3221
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31164) - you deserved it (3383)

On 01/28/2009 at 9:31pm - intimacy - by epistaxis - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I signed up for a psych experiment. I was a damsel in distress on the side of the highway, but no one stopped. Back at the lab, another participant said a half dozen people helped her. The professor was testing how attractiveness effects altruism. I was the unattractive subject. FML

#6651455
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36818) - you deserved it (3383)

On 12/07/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, a woman pushed me at the bar and told me how much she's always hated me. She was my grade five teacher. FML

#6812281
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30209) - you deserved it (3383)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by flurina (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized that I can still do the splits. Why? Because I fell down an entire flight of stairs, everyone in the hall saw me land and applauded. Someone even shouted "and she sticks the landing." FML

#8965492
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24472) - you deserved it (3383)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:09am - misc - by misty_love (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, at my internship, I was told we were going to do something fun. I was excited, until I found out that this "fun" thing was labeling 500 folders. FML

#19017248
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21585) - you deserved it (3383)

On 02/07/2012 at 10:07am - work - by strongjon60 - United States

Today, my sister-in-law pooped with the bathroom door open until my husband had to tell her to close it, then she came out with unwashed hands and started rooting through the cookies. This isn't even the most unhygienic thing she's done today. FML

#20871127
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52066) - you deserved it (3383)

On 09/07/2013 at 7:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was supposed to be studying for an important exam. My parents decided to make me go to a surprise birthday party instead. We weren't allowed to leave until the party was over. The party was for the dog. FML

#21073158
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40366) - you deserved it (3383)

On 02/27/2014 at 1:30pm - animals - by SchoolFMLs (man) - United States (Florida)



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