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Today, I had to slowly explain to my son that an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML

#20481338
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27485) - you deserved it (3061)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a man at the comic book store I work at asked me if Spider-Man is based on a real story, and verbally abused me when, thinking he was joking, I laughed. He wasn't. FML

#20887394
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34052) - you deserved it (3061)

On 09/19/2013 at 1:35am - work - by some people... - United States

Today, a middle-aged woman came into the shoe shop where I work, and asked me to help her put on a pair of boots that were obviously too small. Simultaneously as I knelt down by her feet, she booted me in the face while we tried to get them on. FML

#13933361
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22440) - you deserved it (3060)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out the reason I can't get a job. My previous employer didn't know my name, so when places I applied to called there for a reference, my boss said he had no recollection of me working there. FML

#11010469
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28783) - you deserved it (3060)

On 06/06/2010 at 1:36pm - work - by duko3000 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally found out who has been sending me hate letters, it's my husband's ex-wife. They've been divorced for 7 years. FML

#16778449
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30893) - you deserved it (3060)

On 06/21/2011 at 8:25am - love - by nasty_ex - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

#17628781
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31949) - you deserved it (3060)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)

Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML

#19379891
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21538) - you deserved it (3060)

On 03/31/2012 at 12:22am - health - by GetHardOrGoHome - United States (Ohio)

Today, I graduated from college with two undergrad degrees in biochem and wildlife biology, with high distinction. My mom told me she had found me a job at a petting zoo. I thought she was joking. She then said sternly "I want grandkids. At least you will meet girls there." FML

#1798855
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45377) - you deserved it (3059)

On 05/10/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, it's my mom's birthday. I woke up at midnight to be the first to tell her happy birthday. When I awoke in the morning, I decided to bake her a cake. Little did I know my whole family was going out to lunch to celebrate. I wasn't invited. FML

#15067596
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36769) - you deserved it (3059)

On 02/21/2011 at 5:20pm - misc - by thissucks - United States (California)

Today, I got my braces off. I also got my tongue pierced. Both by my orthodontist. FML

#18273711
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36644) - you deserved it (3059)

On 11/17/2011 at 4:27pm - health - by OUCH. - United States

Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML

#19730259
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31067) - you deserved it (3059)

On 06/04/2012 at 12:34am - misc - by whattheheck - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, while lying in bed cuddling with my cat after getting stood up, I found out that even 80-year-old Charles Manson is engaged to be married. FML

#21301256
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30319) - you deserved it (3059)

On 11/18/2014 at 5:41am - love - by jessiejaybee (woman) - United States

Today, I saw a my neighbor being mugged on the street. I wanted to help, so I tried to yank her purse from the mugger's hands. I guess my neighbor didn't see me clearly, because she thought I was another mugger and kicked my directly in the happy sacks. FML

#6452828
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27982) - you deserved it (3058)

On 11/25/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

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