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Today, I received a phone call from my old boss asking me why I wasn't at work, to which I responded, "Because you fired me yesterday". He didn't say anything, and hung up. FML

#16480266
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36705) - you deserved it (2983)

On 06/03/2011 at 5:57am - work - by xmeatballx21 - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I got trapped in a glass elevator at the mall. My father walked right by the elevator, laughed and went into a store. A fireman got me out. FML

#16990171
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30458) - you deserved it (2983)

On 07/05/2011 at 6:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I called my mother to tell her that I got engaged. In the 15 minute conversation that followed, 13 were spent listening to how this is going to affect her. FML

#20665269
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40468) - you deserved it (2983)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered that my fiancé had tried to fake his own death because he thought it would be easier than confessing to the affair he was having. FML

#2820060
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64921) - you deserved it (2982)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:41am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was dealing with a psychiatric patient with a colonostomy bag. She got agitated and ripped the bag from her abdomen and threw it at my face. I got a bag filled with poop thrown at my face. FML

#2364469
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52414) - you deserved it (2982)

On 05/28/2009 at 1:04am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was taking a final test online that would account for 65% of my final grade. I had worked extremely hard in that class. I had one submission for the test. My roommate thought it would be funny to click the "Submit All" Button while i was getting a glass of water. I got a 13%. FML

#6230724
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38666) - you deserved it (2982)

On 11/09/2009 at 5:13pm - work - by Failure (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out I'm being sued by the man whose life I practically saved a month ago. He says the way I pulled him out of the car he was trapped in has left him with permanent back problems. FML

Today, I heard that there's a rumour going around that I was caught masturbating while crying at a party after the girl I liked got with someone else. FML

#7946481
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22582) - you deserved it (2982)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom (York)

Today, waking up I noticed that my female boss had texted me during the night, telling me she wants me bad. I'm a woman, happily married to a man, and now have to turn her down somehow and not get fired in the process. FML

#13700074
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33217) - you deserved it (2982)

On 11/03/2010 at 10:35am - intimacy - by tuppu (woman) - Finland

Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML

#20440419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33043) - you deserved it (2982)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was stuck in the elevator for almost two hours. Where was the elevator mechanic? Next to me in the elevator. FML

#21098357
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42559) - you deserved it (2982)

On 03/28/2014 at 4:42am - work - by ClaustrophobicNightmares - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)

Today, I decided to tell my husband our marriage was over after I found out that he'd not only been stealing from me, but he'd also been downloading child porn. He then asked if we could break up but live in the same house so I could help pay his bills. FML

#7353297
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40395) - you deserved it (2981)

On 01/15/2010 at 2:51am - love - by cuppincake (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I made a friend on an online chat. We got along fairly well and even traded Facebook accounts. I found out that the two of us had a lot of very surprising things in common. We were the same age, we were from the same school, and we even had the same boyfriend. FML

#7805682
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36985) - you deserved it (2981)

On 02/02/2010 at 1:57am - misc - by Zephyric - United States (California)



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