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Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML

#20421301
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26061) - you deserved it (3012)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by everore - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me into breaking up with him. FML

#20485216
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29238) - you deserved it (3012)

On 01/29/2013 at 7:28pm - love - by theawfulpresent (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, after having spent years staying in school, working hard to achieve good grades, and avoiding all the bad kids, my mom accused me of having no direction in life and complained about how I haven't given her a grandchild yet. I'm 19. FML

#20710020
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53226) - you deserved it (3012)

On 06/06/2013 at 4:51pm - misc - by luciazee (woman) - Peru (Lima)

Today, I received a letter in the mail from my Grandma about how much she adores and loves me. Then it went into detail about how much prettier, smarter, and successful I am than my sister, Leah. I am Leah. She mixed up the letters to the wrong envelopes. FML

#444833
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71521) - you deserved it (3011)

On 03/18/2009 at 5:47pm - misc - by leah12 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was driving with my mom. She had some soda with her from earlier, and even though it was probably warm, I was thirsty. I ask for a sip, she hands it to me and says sure. And I get a mouthful of ash-and-cigarette-butt-filled soda. Apparently she didn't feel the need to mention this to me. FML

#8637899
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25571) - you deserved it (3011)

On 02/25/2010 at 11:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML

#8124338
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43437) - you deserved it (3011)

On 02/11/2010 at 7:22am - misc - by Biological (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML

#19410577
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36473) - you deserved it (3011)

On 04/05/2012 at 2:47am - intimacy - by displeased - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML

#20007961
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31877) - you deserved it (3011)

On 08/07/2012 at 4:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I noticed fraudulent charges made in Florida that nearly drained my bank account. After reporting the fraud to the bank, I returned home from a weekend away to find a note from my husband. He and his mistress have run off to Florida to start a life together, apparently at my expense. FML

#20810887
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53177) - you deserved it (3011)

On 07/30/2013 at 1:09am - money - by brokeandalone (woman) - United States

Today, I left my desk to go to the bathroom. I arrived back at my desk to a large package of SlimQuick packets. Guess my coworkers think I need to lose weight. FML

#21291592
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27693) - you deserved it (3011)

On 11/03/2014 at 10:38pm - work - by blondieforlife - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my wife announced that she wanted a divorce. She'd actually started dating another man a few months ago, but she wanted to drag our marriage out as long as possible just in case her new relationship fell through. FML

#16515847
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41695) - you deserved it (3010)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:20pm - love - by mj - United States

Today, my parents told me that they've been having a contest to see who could punish me the most this week. So far, my mom is in the lead by kicking me out of the car near railroad tracks, and making me walk the 4 miles home in the freezing rain. FML

#18145406
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40485) - you deserved it (3010)

On 11/03/2011 at 5:18am - misc - by Grounded (woman) - United States

Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML

#20083358
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20426) - you deserved it (3010)

On 09/22/2012 at 10:12am - animals - by Grauncho - United States (Illinois)



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