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Today, I got a cramp while swimming. It took the lifeguard 5 minutes to stop flirting with a girl before trying to help me. FML

#19850221
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23978) - you deserved it (3103)

On 06/26/2012 at 11:08am - misc - by EdgardoP - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I decided to splurge and get valet parking at a fancy restaurant. I got out of the car and gave the man my keys and watched as he slowly backed my car into another car. FML

#21319039
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32596) - you deserved it (3103)

On 12/17/2014 at 8:33am - misc - by seriously - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was awoken by the sound of my pet lizard eating my other pet lizard. FML

Today, my mom asked me to look through old VHS tapes to throw away, I found one that said "Ashley's kindergarten Play-'95", I put the tape in, it begins to play, only to see "Days of our lives", "Melrose Place", and "ER". My childhood memories are ranked lower than tv shows. FML

#863008
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53966) - you deserved it (3102)

On 04/07/2009 at 10:53pm - love - by 4gottenmemories (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my father sent me a letter in the mail. He spelled my first name wrong on the front of the envelope. I'm turning 28 years old and my own father doesn't know that my name has two "t"s in it. FML

Today, after working another double shift because I want to buy my boyfriend a really expensive anniversary present, I get to his apartment to find him calculating in how many paychecks he'll be able to afford a Caribbean getaway. For himself. FML

#5798197
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29043) - you deserved it (3102)

On 10/12/2009 at 3:31pm - love - by Sucker (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML

#6098895
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34868) - you deserved it (3102)

On 11/01/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by WasteOfTime (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I got home early from work. When I got home I got to see my dad chasing my mom around the house, naked. FML

#9015230
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28637) - you deserved it (3102)

On 03/12/2010 at 1:05am - misc - by ugh - United States

Today, the boy I like finally acknowledged me. He came up to me and uttered two words: "Nice pooper." FML

#9097770
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18944) - you deserved it (3102)

On 03/15/2010 at 5:14am - intimacy - by shygurl434 - United States (Alaska)

Today, in my job as an assistant at a music venue, I had to get posters signed by that night's performer. When I walked into the dressing room, I was told, "unless you're sucking my cock then get the fuck out of here" and had the posters slapped out of my hands. It's my job to deal with these pricks. FML

#20572312
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34728) - you deserved it (3102)

On 04/02/2013 at 9:26pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, we got a new employee at work. I said hi, and told her that if she needed help figuring out our computer system, then to give me a call. She promptly accused me of sexual harassment and filed a complaint against me. FML

Today, I opened up to my parents about my depression. Their response was to have a very heated discussion about whose fault it was. FML

#20929825
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40319) - you deserved it (3101)

On 10/22/2013 at 12:44am - health - by Anonymous - Chile (Region Metropolitana)



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  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

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