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Today, I slipped on the ice in front of my apartment, spraining my ankle and cracking a rib. While I laid on the ground immediately after, my neighbor chewed me out for saying "shit" in front of her 4-year-old on my way down. FML

#206067
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60491) - you deserved it (3140)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:03pm - misc - by stupidneighbor (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out less than 3 weeks before my wedding my fiancé will lose his new, great paying job unless we cancel our nonrefundable honeymoon. FML

#13263221
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32469) - you deserved it (3139)

On 09/30/2010 at 1:14pm - love - by no luck - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom had an appointment with my teacher after class. She never showed. My teacher ended up driving me home. FML

#16560118
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35487) - you deserved it (3139)

On 06/08/2011 at 9:03am - work - by iloveyoutoomom (man) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

#21364648
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29213) - you deserved it (3139)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I told my 10 year old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML

#1565
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20854) - you deserved it (3138)

On 01/18/2009 at 9:30am - kids - by NVP - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend and I had the weekend all to ourselves. On the second day, we finally got intimate, with me doing all she asked of her. In return for hard-work, she took my meat in her hand and started making lightsaber noises, before pronouncing "I don't see why people like it so much." FML

#5876001
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19129) - you deserved it (3138)

On 10/18/2009 at 7:29am - intimacy - by Ignitingmylightsaber (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was accepted into a police academy. I called my girlfriend of 2 years, who was supportive through the process. She promptly broke up with me, stating, "You'll be really busy in the academy, and I can't marry a police officer. Its a dangerous job." And then called me selfish for "doing this to us." FML

#18888313
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34026) - you deserved it (3138)

On 01/23/2012 at 4:56am - work - by FuturePolice (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was feeling down about being stuck in bed after ankle surgery. I thought I would go ahead and call my boss and let him know everything went well. He said the obligatory nice things, then told me that if I'm not at work on Monday, I'll be fired. I can't even get out of bed. FML

#20638400
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45813) - you deserved it (3138)

On 05/03/2013 at 1:35am - work - by clutzasaurus (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I googled myself in preparation for my upcoming job interview. Turns out there's a girl on Twitter with my name and age who tweets nonstop about getting wasted and being on probation. She won't make her profile private. FML

#20944947
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44008) - you deserved it (3138)

On 11/04/2013 at 7:08am - work - by twitterfailsme (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a promise ring. It was so sweet and romantic, until he said, "I want to marry you one day. But I want to date some other girls first." FML

#18224310
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39421) - you deserved it (3137)

On 11/12/2011 at 12:06am - love - by so romantic - United States (Texas)

Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML

#20081849
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27028) - you deserved it (3137)

On 09/21/2012 at 6:57am - work - by scarred for life - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend was such a coward that instead of breaking up with me, he changed his phone number. FML

#19193447
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26508) - you deserved it (3136)

On 03/01/2012 at 12:35am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my daughter found out what happens when my husband watches Mythbusters and doesn't heed the disclaimer to "Not try this at home." He feels bad about her cut face, but says he's proud he can throw a playing card that hard. FML



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