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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, at work, due to a mix up, I had to call an answering service. I am also from an answering service. We got the problem fixed but I couldn't hang up due to company policy. She couldn't hang up either. We both had to get our supervisors for permission to hang up. FML

#21312305
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32308) - you deserved it (3018)

On 12/06/2014 at 12:18am - work - by ring-a-ding-ding (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML

#4644829
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64730) - you deserved it (3017)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Amara1717 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after a small fight with my girlfriend, I started to miss her, so I typed her name into Google on a whim. Surprisingly, I find a link to a blog in which the owner describes his ongoing effort to seduce my girl. During times she told me she was alone. Thanks babe. FML

#13442639
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27057) - you deserved it (3017)

On 10/14/2010 at 4:00am - love - by Anon - United States (California)

Today, my apartment burned to the ground. I was packed and ready to move out tomorrow. FML

#16622108
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54580) - you deserved it (3017)

On 06/12/2011 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML

#17575215
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30599) - you deserved it (3017)

On 08/25/2011 at 2:49am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was transporting liquor between stores for work. A car pulled out and cut me off, causing me to slam on my brakes. My car stopped. The 200 dollars-worth of booze did not. FML

#18859567
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23290) - you deserved it (3017)

On 01/20/2012 at 3:23am - work - by LiquorChick (woman) - United States

Today, as I was getting out of my car, an old and obese lady walked up to me and called me an "inconsiderate heartless bitch" for using the last handicap parking spot. I guess she didn't see my wheelchair. FML

#20698730
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61126) - you deserved it (3017)

On 06/01/2013 at 2:21am - misc - by regstl - United States (Oregon)

Today, my cat was yowling and meowing pathetically outside my door, I checked she had food, water, and she followed me back up to my room. She nestled down on the radiator behind my desk, then threw up all over it. The cat sick is stuck inside the radiator, and it smells just lovely. FML

Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML

#13235832
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38600) - you deserved it (3016)

On 09/28/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by Jake - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my roommate and I noticed a foul smell in our apartment. After looking around for a little while, I found that her cat had pooped on a pair of my jeans, and apparently tried to cover it up by dragging a shirt over the mess. FML

#20479640
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24802) - you deserved it (3016)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:18pm - animals - by peteswentzbass - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I was told that I have to apply to keep the job that I've held for the past two years. There are so many other applicants that it's basically a free-for-all. FML

#20813366
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41537) - you deserved it (3016)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:47pm - work - by TheStressComesFree (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad told me someday I'll find a man who wants a nice lumberjack for a wife. FML

#21279635
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31231) - you deserved it (3016)

On 10/17/2014 at 4:14am - love - by axewoman -

Today, my parents gave me my birthday present. Two weeks ago, I ordered an xbox online. Three days ago, it came to my house, and my parents thought they could save money by putting wrapping paper on it, and giving it to me for my birthday. That's all they got me. FML

#13347078
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30207) - you deserved it (3015)

On 10/06/2010 at 8:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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