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Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML

#20835961
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41666) - you deserved it (3376)

On 08/13/2013 at 8:08pm - money - by What. - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I found out that my classmates affectionately refer to me as "the kid whose eyes are really far apart." FML

#16101682
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31226) - you deserved it (3375)

On 05/09/2011 at 3:05am - misc - by theyarefarapart -

Today, my fiancé broke off our engagement after he saw one of my baby pictures. He said our future kids just wouldn't look right. FML

#16976984
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43030) - you deserved it (3375)

On 07/04/2011 at 7:42pm - kids - by K3you - United States (Florida)

Today, I discovered my mom has been using my credit card to buy everyone's Christmas presents. FML

#20995385
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44841) - you deserved it (3375)

On 12/17/2013 at 12:02am - money - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my wife woke me up by giving my erect penis a Chinese burn. FML

#19540366
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30342) - you deserved it (3374)

On 04/28/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by poo4brains - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, in the middle of my online midterm, my computer decided to update and closed out of the test. It can't be retaken. FML

#19927975
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37103) - you deserved it (3374)

On 07/12/2012 at 12:08pm - misc - by failure - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend takes videos of me sleeping and watches them with her friends. FML

#21250632
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37546) - you deserved it (3374)

On 09/02/2014 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boss asked me "can I give you some constructive criticism?". I said yes. He tells me "Your work is really shit. You have no talent and I can't figure out why I hired you." FML

#576
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28055) - you deserved it (3373)

On 12/22/2008 at 11:18pm - work - by crapules - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because she found a bra in my cupboard. It was hers. FML

#5389854
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42705) - you deserved it (3373)

On 09/21/2009 at 6:53am - love - by Wronged (man) - Singapore

Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML

#14952962
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35017) - you deserved it (3373)

On 02/12/2011 at 9:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML

#20494543
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38327) - you deserved it (3373)

On 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm - misc - by Experience (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I stayed in a hotel near the college I was applying for a scholarship. We were eating breakfast and there were some other applicants in the breakfast room. As we walked away, my mother yelled, "My daughter's gonna get this scholarship so there's no reason for you muddafuckas to show up." FML

#20511941
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38272) - you deserved it (3373)

On 02/18/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend's crazy ex, who let herself in with her old key. She screamed at me to get out of "her" bed, snatched "her" blanket off of my body, and finally dragged the bed itself out the door. I was still in it. FML



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