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Today, my boss called me into his office. I thought I was getting promoted because my sales had been really high lately. My boss shut his door behind me and asked me if I could comb his hair with a lice comb to get rid of his lice. I had to do it to keep my job. FML

#259626
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64523) - you deserved it (2588)

On 03/10/2009 at 9:02am - misc - by Janet - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my friends thought it'd be funny to hold lighters under the smoke alarms while I was sleeping. FML

#14632650
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19209) - you deserved it (2588)

On 01/18/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by desertpunk75 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got on the bus. Before I could make it to a free seat, the driver hit the gas, and the sudden movement caused me to stumble and accidentally grab onto another passenger for support. She didn't appreciate this, accused me of molesting her, and got me thrown back off. FML

#20982787
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36116) - you deserved it (2588)

On 12/06/2013 at 1:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my sister confessed to me that she sold some of my old shirts to the girl who's stalking me. This explains why I got a note that read, "I have your scent, now I can track you." FML

#16965226
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40652) - you deserved it (2587)

On 07/03/2011 at 8:27pm - misc - by beablue18 - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, my mother spent over $5,000 to fly in a Feng-Shui master, put him in a five-star hotel, and had him walk around our house with a compass, moving things to help improve the "energy flow." Now all I have in my room is an old mattress and lamp. He's coming back tomorrow. FML

#18209020
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28205) - you deserved it (2587)

On 11/10/2011 at 9:35am - money - by Agathus (man) - United Arab Emirates

Today, I wound up cleaning vomit out of the window track of my car at midnight, in the nicest dress I own, after my husband got completely wasted at his office Christmas party. FML

#18474443
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19968) - you deserved it (2587)

On 12/10/2011 at 5:14am - misc - by dee - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that my daughter's "pen pal" is really a 58-year-old man in prison. FML

#20109821
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23013) - you deserved it (2587)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:59pm - kids - by ohgod. - United States (Florida)

Today, I had been trying to text my girlfriend all day, but no reply. After a while, I became worried so I called. She picked up and said, "Can't talk, busy." Not even a minute later, my best friend says to me, "Dude, tell your girlfriend to leave me alone. She's been texting me all day." FML

#20407951
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39762) - you deserved it (2587)

On 12/19/2012 at 6:31pm - misc - by SugarMyBalls (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I said yes. This caused him to panic, excuse himself, then take it back via text message a half hour later, claiming he'd been drunk. We live together. When he comes back home, it's going to be very awkward indeed. FML

#20541052
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35789) - you deserved it (2587)

On 03/12/2013 at 6:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML

#6131025
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37507) - you deserved it (2586)

On 11/03/2009 at 2:24am - love - by whysheheartless (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my apartment has been echoing all day with the wails of my cat, Butters. He's yet again managed to trap himself in the umbrella stand. In the past, he has eventually gotten himself out, but this time I think I might have to use a hacksaw. FML

#19684579
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15979) - you deserved it (2586)

On 05/26/2012 at 5:35pm - misc - by Dom - South Africa (Eastern Cape)

Today, I told my mom about an article I'd seen that said people tend to make the most mistakes at 2 to 3 in the morning. Without a trace of humor in her voice, she said, "Tell me about it. You were conceived round about then." FML

#19161830
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22239) - you deserved it (2586)

On 02/25/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by fmlsomuch - Japan

Today, I freaked out because of the smell of rotting eggs lingering in my apartment. I soon discovered it was my boyfriend's feet. FML

#19453848
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19766) - you deserved it (2586)

On 04/12/2012 at 1:30am - love - by Kayla (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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