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Today, I sent a student to the dean for trying to smoke pot in my class. His mother called to complain that I publicly humiliated her son. FML

Today, I found out that my mom isn't coming to see me for Christmas. Instead she'll be spending it in jail for a DUI and battery. Thank you to my cocklick of an aunt for taking a recovering alcoholic to a bar and pressuring her into relapse. FML

#21003791
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44121) - you deserved it (2885)

On 12/24/2013 at 3:48pm - misc - by jhulich (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I lost my virginity to my long time boyfriend and found out I'm severely allergic to latex. I also found out that my family doctor had been transferred to the ER. He went to play golf with my dad later. FML

#7257583
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17766) - you deserved it (2884)

On 01/10/2010 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by Foxy (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my roommate asked for my opinion of her new painting. The same painting I hand-painted for over ten hours. She apparently thought it was a gift. She won't give it back. FML

#21251580
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36425) - you deserved it (2885)

On 09/04/2014 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend took me on a romantic weekend away at a hotel. What is he doing now? On his computer looking up stuff on Craigslist while I am watching t.v. alone. FML

#8230215
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20209) - you deserved it (2883)

On 02/14/2010 at 12:03am - love - by lonelygirl (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, a 75 year old lady drove into me. Her excuse was, "I wasn't looking." Awesome. FML

#11412835
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34477) - you deserved it (2883)

On 06/23/2010 at 9:51pm - misc - by hurricane0331 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having the most wonderful bath. The water was steaming, the bubbles were bubbly, and I was reading a really good book. I put my book down to yawn and looked to my right. My gaze was met by the lovely face of my brother's pet tarantula. FML

#13574162
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32142) - you deserved it (2883)

On 10/24/2010 at 8:21am - misc - by mzgabbster (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I discovered my parents have spent my college fund because "2012 will happen" before I graduate. FML

#14561634
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42831) - you deserved it (2883)

On 01/13/2011 at 12:48am - money - by skyhigh - United States (Texas)

Today, the creepy girl in my history class told me that she once spent a whole period doing nothing but counting the freckles on the right side of my face, and that I have more than she's ever seen before on anyone else combined. FML

#17712418
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28648) - you deserved it (2883)

On 09/10/2011 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

#19806269
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28624) - you deserved it (2884)

On 06/18/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by DwarfFrog - United States

Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML

#20450908
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34870) - you deserved it (2883)

On 01/09/2013 at 10:15pm - love - by wtf dad - United States (Missouri)

Today, I could no longer handle the drum music in the apartment below me so I went to kindly ask the little old lady to shut it off before she goes to bed. Her neighbor came out while I knocked to tell me she is out of town and the music is constant so her cats don't get lonely. FML

Today, my 5 year old daughter watched me getting dressed in the bathroom and asked "mum, when my boobs grow, will they droop like yours?". FML

#983
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25029) - you deserved it (2882)

On 01/12/2009 at 4:37am - kids - by Lax - Sent from mobile version



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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