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Today, my mom gave me my Christmas gift. It was a letter containing $200 and a note saying, "Here's the down payment for your apartment, please just move out already." I turned 18 last week. Thanks mom. FML

#14331455
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24870) - you deserved it (2940)

On 12/25/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got home from college. Since I haven't seen my parents in almost a year I sorta expected them to come meet me/pick me up at the airport. Nope. What did I get instead? A text from my dad saying, "I hope you have a key." FML

#1984410
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40522) - you deserved it (2939)

On 05/16/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I found out my sister has a new boyfriend. That would have been helpful to know 3 hours ago before I told her boyfriend, who is also my best friend, that I loved him. His response? "HAHAHA! Good one! Oh Seriously? Shit." FML

#8765418
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30674) - you deserved it (2939)

On 03/02/2010 at 1:07am - love - by SingleSara. (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that not only is my girlfriend enough of a superstitious twat to believe the world is going to end on December 21st, she actually thinks it's an acceptable excuse to go sleep around with other men. FML

#20146254
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28427) - you deserved it (2939)

On 11/03/2012 at 8:37pm - love - by markderanjer (man) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, at the yacht club I work at a girl ordered a Portabella wrap. She asked for no cheese or veggies, just the Portabellas. After she got the sandwich and ate half of it, she sent it back saying she didn't know it had mushrooms in it. FML

#20840141
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43244) - you deserved it (2939)

On 08/16/2013 at 10:05am - work - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I called my boss and said "I have been awake since 3am throwing up." He replied with "Great, see you at 9" and hung up. FML

#14638505
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29544) - you deserved it (2938)

On 01/19/2011 at 12:31pm - work - by gb739 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a blind date with a really cute guy. Just when I was about to invite him back to my place for a nightcap, he took out a catalog of Russian mail-order brides and asked for my help in picking out the best one. FML

#17892754
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25615) - you deserved it (2938)

On 10/03/2011 at 12:15am - love - by NotRussian (woman) - United States

Today, in science class, we had to make play-dough with our lab partners. We were allowed to put one thing in it to make it more bouncy or rubbery. My partner said that he wanted to put a chicken wing in ours. FML

#18374727
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23098) - you deserved it (2938)

On 11/28/2011 at 10:45am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, it was my high school graduation. Everything was going fine until everyone saw my family fighting over where we would go afterwards. Security had to pull them apart. FML

#20712915
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43037) - you deserved it (2938)

On 06/08/2013 at 1:12am - misc - by congrats grad - United States (California)

Today, I spontaneously got my ear pierced. By spontaneously, I mean my 12-year-old sister stabbed one of her earrings into my ear while I was sleeping. She claimed the freckle on my earlobe looks "exactly the same" as the hole from her ear piercing. FML

#20801253
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44156) - you deserved it (2938)

On 07/24/2013 at 2:03pm - kids - by ouch - United States (Virginia)

Today, I confronted my girlfriend after catching her cheating on me. After she finished crying, she had the brass balls to say she'd understand if I needed a couple of weeks to forgive her, and asked me for bus fare so she could go tell the other guy they could only be friends now. FML

#21280490
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34588) - you deserved it (2945)

On 10/18/2014 at 2:44pm - love - by yee-whore (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I had to go along with my mom to meet some of her old friends from high school. When they asked her about how her life was going, she said she was married, always traveling, no kids, and introduced me as the neighbor's kid she babysits. FML

#12498978
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39637) - you deserved it (2937)

On 08/13/2010 at 12:28pm - kids - by Bullet - United States

Today, I was at my local McDonald's having a leak when an extremely intoxicated man stumbled in, pulled down his pants, and started to pee on my shoes. FML

#13550544
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28162) - you deserved it (2937)

On 10/22/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (More og Romsdal)



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