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Today, I found out that my new roommate got kicked out of his old house because he pulled a gun on his old roommates and threatened them. The reason? They nagged him about dishes he left in the sink. Well, only 10 months left on the lease. FML

#18314926
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26925) - you deserved it (2901)

On 11/22/2011 at 6:36am - misc - by Charles Pennington (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML

#20180296
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23790) - you deserved it (2901)

On 11/26/2012 at 8:41pm - love - by imnotacheateryouimmaturefuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my roommate secretly edited a paper I wrote and recently turned in, so that it repeatedly refers to the famed author "Kneel Gayman." I'm positive that's not how it's spelled. FML

#20958782
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32725) - you deserved it (2901)

On 11/15/2013 at 3:30pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at work, I was told I was a failure. Feeling like crap, I went to my best friend to see if he could make me laugh. He told me that he felt obligated to hang out with me, so he thought that we shouldn't anymore. FML

#14847489
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24285) - you deserved it (2900)

On 02/05/2011 at 12:58am - misc - by ohhhjaymo13 - United States

Today, the fire alarm went off in my dorm. Not only was it 30 degrees outside, but I was in the shower. FML

#15817809
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29657) - you deserved it (2900)

On 04/17/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by wellhellothere (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I bought a car. After just ten minutes, my hub caps had been stolen. FML

#16458606
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26943) - you deserved it (2900)

On 06/01/2011 at 9:25pm - money - by GTR - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking down the street, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. It wasn't all that embarrassing, until I walked two more feet and slipped again. The second time, a man pulled over and loudly asked if I was drunk. FML

#18553148
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24271) - you deserved it (2900)

On 12/19/2011 at 1:01pm - misc - by This girl (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my boyfriend yet again unsuccessfully tried to hold in uncontrollable giggling every time I moaned or sighed during sex. He's 24. I'm terrified of his reaction should I ever reach an orgasm with him. FML

#19557308
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26041) - you deserved it (2900)

On 05/01/2012 at 7:02am - intimacy - by epicsquishii (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked a good friend what she thought would make me more attractive to women. Her advice was, "Don't be yourself." FML

#19073869
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18747) - you deserved it (2900)

On 02/14/2012 at 1:05pm - misc - by random - United States

Today, I announced my first pregnancy to my family. Not to be outdone, my sister immediately announced that she "might" be getting pregnant soon. My family ended up congratulating her instead, and asked me if I would plan the baby shower. FML

#20793609
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55466) - you deserved it (2900)

On 07/20/2013 at 2:31am - kids - by Happyunlucky (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, we brought our Christmas tree inside to decorate. We decorated it, then went out to dinner as a family. Returning 2 hours later, we came back to find our living room to be occupied. Not with people. The tree had been filled with baby spiders, and they were all over the living room. FML

#6609748
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32585) - you deserved it (2899)

On 12/05/2009 at 12:15am - animals - by Worsttreeever (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my dad decided that he shouldn't have to wear clothes in the privacy of his own home. FML

#18724307
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27384) - you deserved it (2899)

On 01/06/2012 at 6:25am - misc - by Anna (woman) - United States

Today, I told my mom about the severe phobia I've developed towards driving. She was very supportive and even made me an appointment to see a psychologist. His office is two hours away. I have to drive to see my doctor about my fear of driving. FML

#19956535
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21333) - you deserved it (2899)

On 07/18/2012 at 9:29pm - health - by anonymous - United States



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