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Today, my whole family piled into our station wagon just to watch my mom take part in an arm wrestling contest. FML

by Chris75 / 09/01/2011 at 5:55am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my "best friend" while I was away on vacation. She is now writing on her blog about how heartbreaking the whole situation is for her, and how she's "stuck in the middle of all this." FML

by sherrylynn / 04/19/2013 at 5:50pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to sit through yet another one of my mom's, "You need to grow and gain some weight!" rants. I'm 22 and she doesn't believe me when I tell her I'm done growing. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting past 5'2". FML

by Tiny / 07/29/2014 at 4:27am / United States (Nevada) / Health

Today, as I was creeping on social media, I realized that literally everyone I've ever dated is either happily married, engaged, or in a relationship. My last date was at the beginning of the summer. FML

by spinster / 09/15/2015 at 10:10pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I got fired from my job because I closed the store 84 seconds early. They found out because the state manager was sitting across the street with binoculars watching me. FML

by unemployed-dude / 12/08/2015 at 1:17am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, my workplace had a big employee photoshoot for an ad campaign. I was there all of 30 seconds before the photographer said, "What the fuck? Look guys, this ain't an ad for facial abortions." He then asked me and another colleague to step out of the shot. FML

by fuggers :/ / 11/24/2013 at 4:38pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Work

Today, I decided to give my dog a bath. Instead, my dog gave me a bath. FML

by anonymous / 08/28/2015 at 1:18pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend thought the garbage can in our kitchen smelled bad. Instead of cleaning it, he had it equipped with a Wunderbaum. Our entire house now smells like "New Car". FML

by everfresh / 01/26/2011 at 5:38am / Finland (Western Finland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I explained to my dad that I think I have a vaginal infection. I asked if he could take me to the doctor. He responded by saying, "Just shove some ice up there. It'll go away." FML

by hurts.to.pee / 01/19/2012 at 12:14am / United States / Health

Today, while getting ready to go to bed, I told my boyfriend that I feel depressed due to the lack of intimacy in our relationship. His response was to roll over, fall asleep, and send a deadly fart my way. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2012 at 12:25am / Denmark (Sjelland) / Love

Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2013 at 9:14pm / Netherlands / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to check out a dating site, when I stumbled across my ex wife's profile. She'd had it for four out of the five years of our marriage. And no, it didn't rate us as a good match. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2014 at 1:47pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I decided to have cereal for breakfast. I poured the cereal in the bowl, added the milk and had a spoonful. Then I realized that my cereal was moving in the back of my mouth. FML

by Eddy / 03/13/2015 at 11:27pm / United States (Arkansas) / Animals