Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my ex told me she still misses having sex with me. Her next text was "but it's still over." FML

#6211757
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18265) - you deserved it (2810)

On 11/08/2009 at 1:16pm - intimacy - by peacexout108 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was the only employee at a video store where I work when it got robbed. After crying, shaking and spending two hours and dealing with the police, my boss called and told me it was good experience and I would know what to do next time, then made me finish my shift, the night shift, alone. FML

#6550040
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38411) - you deserved it (2810)

On 12/01/2009 at 11:17am - work - by HP_22 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that the cause of the recent pain in my chest was that I had a torn muscle. What caused this? I sneezed. FML

#13093344
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23583) - you deserved it (2811)

On 09/18/2010 at 12:21am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a woman called the store I work for. When she found out it was a wrong number, she started to cry and asked me to stay on the line with her, talking about her dead husband and how she hasn't laughed in years. FML

Today, I took a nap because I've been sick for the past week and I was exhausted. When I woke up, my hair, shirt, pillow, and bedsheets were soaked. I threw up all over myself in my sleep. FML

#14095720
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30019) - you deserved it (2809)

On 12/05/2010 at 1:25pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, I had my boyfriend come over for dinner for the first time. It was all going well until my dad started explaining to my boyfriend how to use toilet paper. He even demonstrated it. FML

#15001986
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29409) - you deserved it (2809)

On 02/16/2011 at 12:03pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, my grandmother's graduation presents came for my sisters. Not only did she remember to send them cards, but money too. My graduation was a year ago, I received nothing, and last time she saw me, she didn't know my name. FML

Today, while I was waitressing, two girls ran up a tab of $60 in drinks. They ended up not paying the bill and walking out. My boss told me it won't be the first time or last, as he made me pay their bill. FML

#17145541
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29124) - you deserved it (2809)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:00am - work - by sfabsits - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to explain to my 15-year-old son why it wouldn't be a good idea to include a picture of the red Power Ranger in his "Weapons throughout history" project. FML

#19365320
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16607) - you deserved it (2809)

On 03/28/2012 at 6:49pm - kids - by laststand11 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I have dark hairs growing on my chest, nipples and stomach... I'm a 19 year old girl. FML

#841
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30005) - you deserved it (2808)

On 01/02/2009 at 1:06pm - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to a hospital in Uganda, where I'm working with an NGO for the summer. I had a high fever and other symptoms of malaria. They gave me a test, and I don't have malaria. I am now however sick from the water they gave me to wash down a medication to reduce fever. FML

#2880458
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40009) - you deserved it (2808)

On 06/14/2009 at 7:08am - health - by MalariaFree (woman) - Uganda (Kampala)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. In order to make a good impression I was as polite as possible and tried to be as engaging as I could. Near the end of dinner my girlfriend's mom says, "I liked your old boyfriend better." FML

#785377
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55262) - you deserved it (2808)

On 04/03/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by str3tch - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I met my husband's old high school sweetheart. My mother-in-law introduced me to her as "one of my son's friends." We've been married for over eight years. FML

#16771812
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34602) - you deserved it (2808)

On 06/20/2011 at 10:40pm - love - by minnEmouse (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: