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Today, I was quite happily glossing my new bathroom door, when my useless, alcoholic, housemate came rolling in, knocked the paint over, stood in it and without realising, walked it all the way down the stairs. I had just had a brand new carpet fitted. FML

#8819773
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22945) - you deserved it (3170)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:49am - misc - by Heather (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I woke up to my kids shaking me, saying, "Get up, Santa was here!" I got up to find my TV, computer and MacBook Air all gone. FML

#14191427
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37806) - you deserved it (3170)

On 12/13/2010 at 2:32pm - kids - by crazycora (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I realized that the fish-shaped birth mark on the back of my leg, that I have had all my life, is not really shaped like a fish as I had originally thought. It looks just like a penis. FML

#14234557
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29233) - you deserved it (3170)

On 12/17/2010 at 11:23am - health - by BYUwildchild - United States

Today, I came home to my fiancé and his mates playing Monopoly naked in our backyard. FML

#18803544
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24403) - you deserved it (3170)

On 01/14/2012 at 6:42am - misc - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to take my driver's test, and I did almost everything perfectly. The last thing was to back into a driveway. As I went to put my hand on the passenger seat to look over my shoulder, I got so nervous that I hit my instructor in the face. FML

#19782263
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25626) - you deserved it (3170)

On 06/13/2012 at 2:13pm - misc - by sopissed - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was slapped across the face by a girl in the waiting room at the dentist's office. She thought I was taking a picture of her breasts with my phone. I was smiling while reading other people's FMLs. FML

#20189568
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39052) - you deserved it (3170)

On 12/03/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by karmamaybe - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML

#20723415
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47736) - you deserved it (3170)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to my high school reunion. Someone walked up to me and said, "Wow, you look so different!" She then followed it up with, "You used to be so pretty, what happened?" FML

#20849795
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40366) - you deserved it (3170)

On 08/22/2013 at 7:40pm - misc - by Ugly (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML

#2059220
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71577) - you deserved it (3169)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by emoney (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I haven't had any real sleep in 4 days because I am an insomniac. My father is also an insomniac but he takes Ambien to get his rest. Me? I'm stuck staring at the ceiling for hours because he won't let me take any kind of medication, because he doesn't want me "getting addicted." FML

#12533834
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29042) - you deserved it (3169)

On 08/15/2010 at 3:23am - health - by sleeplessinID (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I came down with painful sores in my mouth, just after having gotten over a cold. Apparently I'm allergic to the cough drops I've been eating for the past week to make myself feel better. FML

#15289353
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28091) - you deserved it (3169)

On 03/13/2011 at 12:52am - misc - by Rawrssa (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad woke me up 3 hours early, after I had been up very late the night before, because something "awesome" happened. Apparently the cashier at Dunkin' Donuts and I share the same first name. Thanks Dad. FML

#17329183
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27075) - you deserved it (3169)

On 08/01/2011 at 4:07am - misc - by tired (woman) - United States

Today, I was excited to get my first writing assignment since starting law school. I found out that I have to write a paper defending free speech. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to defend the Westboro Baptist Church and if I weren't a former Marine. FML

#20079105
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30797) - you deserved it (3169)

On 09/19/2012 at 10:54am - misc - by LawStudent (man) - United States (Indiana)



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