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Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML

#6089895
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19360) - you deserved it (2363)

On 10/31/2009 at 8:22pm - intimacy - by thornrose22 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my family took me to a wig store saying I wouldn't feel so insecure about being bald because of my chemo treatments. When I told them I accepted myself and didn't want a wig, they came out and told me THEY couldn't accept it. My own family is embarrassed of me over something I can't control. FML

#4177051
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79706) - you deserved it (2362)

On 07/31/2009 at 5:35am - misc - by Betrayed (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, the horn in my car decided to malfunction. It honked continuously for an hour as I drove down the highway. FML

#14315930
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22957) - you deserved it (2362)

On 12/23/2010 at 9:21pm - misc - by nick (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

#20958646
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38330) - you deserved it (2362)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by mummer11 (woman) - Ireland

Today, in school my shoulder was killing me from a softball injury. I went to the nurse's office and asked "Can I have some ice?" They responded with "Why, what happened to your face?" FML

#75712
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41326) - you deserved it (2361)

On 02/19/2009 at 2:09am - misc - by Offended (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at work, and some people came in looking for a particular couch. After looking for over an hour on the wholesalers website my boss walks over, makes me take my lunch break and then calls over the couple and takes all the credit for the sale. We work on commission. FML

#5267039
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34663) - you deserved it (2361)

On 09/15/2009 at 1:35am - work - by Backseatseller (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was working at Tim Hortons. A lady was in line, and she couldnt make up her mind. 20 minutes later she finally decided to get something, and she reached in her pocket. I was hoping it was a tip, but she gave me a coupon for a haircut. FML

#6125529
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20105) - you deserved it (2361)

On 11/02/2009 at 8:15pm - misc - by justin_99 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a New Year's party with my boyfriend. Later into the night, he got drunk, and left me there to go to another party with his friends. I have no car, and no way to get home. FML

#14417379
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17848) - you deserved it (2361)

On 01/01/2011 at 12:27am - misc - by Alana - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mother asked my live-in girlfriend if she's had any problems with me peeing the bed. I haven't wet the bed since I was seven and I'd hoped to take that secret to my grave. FML

#13345478
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22789) - you deserved it (2361)

On 10/06/2010 at 6:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at the airport to pick up my mother since my baby is due soon. As she arrived, I smiled wide and opened my arms for a hug, but she walked right by me. Apparently, being pregnant makes me unrecognizable. My husband and I had to tell it her was me, her own daughter. FML

#17468026
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25665) - you deserved it (2361)

On 08/14/2011 at 6:34am - misc - by Motherly Love - United States (Virginia)

Today, I learned that it doesn't matter how good you've screwed a satellite dish onto the side of your house, it won't stop the wind the ripping it off and taking half the wall with it. FML

#19143991
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18701) - you deserved it (2361)

On 02/23/2012 at 2:03am - misc - by Blueshock08 - United States (Florida)

Today, a therapist told me that I was too depressed to attend his depression group meetings. FML

#19520944
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26277) - you deserved it (2361)

On 04/24/2012 at 7:22am - health - by Sad Sally (woman) - United States

Today, my boss told me to cut my long hair. After coming back to work with a clean cut hairstyle, he apparently thought I was the new guy, and said I was going to be trained by "The long-haired girly-looking idiot." FML

#20163115
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18254) - you deserved it (2361)

On 11/14/2012 at 1:10pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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