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Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

#6433881
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38759) - you deserved it (2950)

On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, a fight broke out between my 21 year old sister and our 6 year old brother. I tried to intervene, only to end up getting battered to shit in the process. According to my sister, he's going to hell for eating her candy. FML

#17539205
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25321) - you deserved it (2950)

On 08/21/2011 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out why I find damp spots on my favorite jacket. I appears that my dog often becomes very intimate with it. FML

#18827705
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28690) - you deserved it (2950)

On 01/16/2012 at 7:33pm - animals - by Cathy - United States

Today, I went to an over-crowded grocery store. As I reached the front of a long line, I noticed that a cart had been abandoned in everybody's way. Trying to be helpful, I moved it to the side. An enormous woman then shoved me and yelled at me for "pushing her property around." FML

#20953468
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34732) - you deserved it (2950)

On 11/11/2013 at 12:17am - misc - by PainStressLife - United States (California)

Today, a drunken guest in the hotel I work at has barricaded himself in the employee restroom and refuses to come out, unless I "promise to love him forever." It's 4am and I'm the only one here. FML

Today, my friends and I went paintballing. The instructor showed us the sound of an unloaded gun by shooting at my face. It wasn't unloaded. FML

#21277056
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43082) - you deserved it (2950)

On 10/13/2014 at 5:33pm - health - by clumsylobster - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found cigarette butts at the bottom of the toaster. My mother has been dropping them in there for I don't know how long. FML

#16613518
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30984) - you deserved it (2949)

On 06/11/2011 at 4:36pm - misc - by Macy (woman) - Italy (Lazio)

Today, my roommate informed me that one of her scorpions is loose in our apartment again. Great. FML

#17895796
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30373) - you deserved it (2949)

On 10/03/2011 at 1:58pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, my son's lemonade stand was robbed by a senior citizen. FML

#20908703
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46805) - you deserved it (2949)

On 10/05/2013 at 6:25pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to listen to fellow classmates whine about selling one of their many houses, while I can barely afford to pay for a $100 textbook. FML

#20987288
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42446) - you deserved it (2949)

On 12/10/2013 at 1:04am - money - by thefifthdoctor - United States (Washington)

Today, after getting my appendix taken out, we had to drive over five sets of railroad tracks. Then, my four year old brother decided to punch me in the stomach because, "I took away his mommy for two days." FML

#11459471
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41640) - you deserved it (2948)

On 06/25/2010 at 8:30pm - love - by cduttl1230 - United States (Idaho)

Today, after months of looking forward to my new fencing lessons and speculating endlessly about the people who might be in my class, I went to my first lesson. I was the only one who showed up. FML

#17739609
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20800) - you deserved it (2949)

On 09/13/2011 at 9:30pm - misc - by ManinBlack (man) - Canada

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, I told a teenager to, "Walk please." He then threw his soda at me as he ran away. We aren't allowed off stand unless it's an emergency, so I baked in that soda for 30 minutes. FML

#19692881
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22009) - you deserved it (2948)

On 05/28/2012 at 10:05am - work - by emonsteadman - United States (Texas)



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