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Today, my boyfriend thought the garbage can in our kitchen smelled bad. Instead of cleaning it, he had it equipped with a Wunderbaum. Our entire house now smells like "New Car". FML

by everfresh / 01/26/2011 at 5:38am / Finland (Western Finland) / Miscellaneous

Today, the nicest thing said to me all day was from my microwave that flashes 'enjoy your meal' when it finishes cooking something. FML

by bymyself / 02/06/2011 at 9:05pm / Miscellaneous

Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2013 at 9:14pm / Netherlands / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to sit through yet another one of my mom's, "You need to grow and gain some weight!" rants. I'm 22 and she doesn't believe me when I tell her I'm done growing. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting past 5'2". FML

by Tiny / 07/29/2014 at 4:27am / United States (Nevada) / Health

Today, I decided to check out a dating site, when I stumbled across my ex wife's profile. She'd had it for four out of the five years of our marriage. And no, it didn't rate us as a good match. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2014 at 1:47pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, wanting to change from the usual pizza/coca cola menu, I decide to cook. After spending 1h30 making a "beef chili with ancho, mole, and cumin" I sprinkle a bit of salt on top of it. The top came off the salt. I think it's back to pizzas for me. FML

by j0j0 / 01/15/2009 at 11:00am / France (Aquitaine) / Health

Today, my boyfriend wanted to have Valentine's Day sex. He then remembered it was unlimited pancakes at IHOP. FML

by DallasGal / 02/14/2010 at 11:31am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my whole family piled into our station wagon just to watch my mom take part in an arm wrestling contest. FML

by Chris75 / 09/01/2011 at 5:55am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I've been single for so long my grandmother had to ask if I actually like women or not. FML

by Forever alone Guy / 02/19/2013 at 6:07pm / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, my boyfriend moved out and took all his things with him. He also took some things that didn't belong to him, namely my rent money. My landlord comes tomorrow. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2013 at 3:41pm / United States / Money

Today, my dad yelled at me for being irresponsible while he watched me fold his laundry. FML

by hannahg / 03/23/2014 at 8:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother felt the need to remind me not to fall in love with a fictional character. After laughing and reassuring her that I knew the difference between fiction and reality, she replied, "You know, honey, sometimes I'm not so sure." FML

by DontBeRude / 09/28/2015 at 12:05am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my fiancé told my mom that she screwed me up. I now have to write an apologetic e-mail to her for something that I agree with, in order for her to stop calling me crying. FML

by sighoutloud / 10/15/2009 at 11:36pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous