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Sunday 23 November 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my five year old sister won't stop saying, "shit buckle fuckle ton." My boyfriend's excuse was that he was teaching her how to rhyme. FML

#21303585
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20353) - you deserved it (2120)

On 11/21/2014 at 10:29pm - kids - by angkal2002 - Australia

Today, my co-worker threw a rubber mallet at my face, and I broke my finger in the process of saving my face. She then told me to "take it up with HR, bitch". She's the HR manager. FML

#21302927
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28137) - you deserved it (2148)

On 11/20/2014 at 7:29pm - work - by spreadburger - United States (Florida)

Today, after driving hundreds of miles to sign the paperwork for my new job, I found out the guy who hired me recently quit, and HR has no idea who I am. FML

#21300696
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30921) - you deserved it (2102)

On 11/17/2014 at 11:59am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I accidentally called my boss 'mom'. Now she is jokingly telling everyone that I'm the long-lost daughter she gave up for adoption, because she knew I'd be a failure. FML

#21304319
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15831) - you deserved it (1912)

On 11/23/2014 at 3:31am - work - by naladetet - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at a club and caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up and came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" and walked away. FML

#21304109
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19707) - you deserved it (1878)

On 11/22/2014 at 8:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up, only to find my Xbox missing. Thankfully I have a security camera discreetly wired up in the tree on my lawn. Checking the tapes, I saw my brother park outside my house, let himself in with his spare key, then drive off with my missing equipment. FML

#21303975
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19907) - you deserved it (1615)

On 11/22/2014 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I learned that if life gives you lemons, your sister is going to squeeze them over your face while you take a nap on the couch. FML

#21303546
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21676) - you deserved it (1629)

On 11/21/2014 at 9:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my son trained his little sister to walk up to strangers and whimper: "My mommy punches me." FML

#21303913
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19279) - you deserved it (1487)

On 11/22/2014 at 1:37pm - kids - by uterurist (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML

#21304429
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12232) - you deserved it (1361)

On 11/23/2014 at 11:34am - intimacy - by 404: fuck not given (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my grandpa came into my room and asked for a pen. As I gave it to him, he let rip the foulest fart I've ever smelled in my life, and walked out without a word. 2 hours later, the smell is not only still there, it's filled the room. Looks like I'm sleeping downstairs on the couch tonight. FML

#21304373
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11839) - you deserved it (1031)

On 11/23/2014 at 7:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, in thanks for my assistance, a customer recommended me a plastic surgeon who could "really help with that face." FML

#21304340
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11122) - you deserved it (880)

On 11/23/2014 at 5:27am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I have to deal with being laughed at by my mother and sister, because they keep making sharp movements towards me, causing me to flinch. This is because I got mugged and beaten last night. They think it's hysterical. FML

#21304446
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15362) - you deserved it (816)

On 11/23/2014 at 12:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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