Saturday 25 May 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, at work, my boss made me go outside and wash people's cars for free. I work at Verizon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34178) - you deserved it (3069)
On 05/21/2013 at 2:31am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40159) - you deserved it (3008)
On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my 6-year-old son spotted a bumper sticker that said, "Get any closer and I'll fart." He thought this was so hilarious that he had to repeat it to everyone he met. Including my doctor, my grandma, and my boss at "bring your kid to work day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22858) - you deserved it (2932)
On 05/23/2013 at 6:48pm - kids - by Mary (woman) - United States
Today, one of my closest friends informed me that she wasn't going to invite me to her wedding, because I'm too shy and not enough fun, and she doesn't want her 200 or so guests to feel uncomfortable. I was the one who set the happy couple up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42388) - you deserved it (2840)
On 05/23/2013 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, a friend was put on suicide watch when her parents wouldn't pay $500 for a premium senior picture package. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25655) - you deserved it (2805)
On 05/22/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by AwkwardHaole808 - United States (Hawaii)
Today, due to my allergies I can't stop sneezing. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for my hemorrhoids making each sneeze feel like I'm getting a cactus shoved up my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30318) - you deserved it (2674)
On 05/22/2013 at 1:38am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today I returned home after a semester at university. I guess I did too good a job of getting into shape as my parents phoned the police, thinking I was a burglar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31170) - you deserved it (2674)
On 05/22/2013 at 5:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my roommate decided to splash out on a prostitute. When my expensive watch and the contents of my wallet turned up missing in the aftermath, his only comment was, "Shit happens, bro." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30602) - you deserved it (2649)
On 05/23/2013 at 4:11pm - misc - by eric4 (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)
Today, I was out on a family walk, when I overheard two women talking to each other. One of them was wondering how a kid with such good looking parents and grandparents could be so ugly. That kid is my daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32483) - you deserved it (2567)
On 05/22/2013 at 12:47pm - kids - by Kittykat900 (woman) - United Kingdom (York)
Today, my piano teacher complimented my song, calling it great. I was proud and thanked him, then realized he was being sarcastic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21829) - you deserved it (2604)
On 05/24/2013 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, for the fourth time this week, I witnessed my mother dancing around the house naked. Apparently, she is loosening up her "inner nudist" and isn't planning on stopping any time soon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32367) - you deserved it (2542)
On 05/22/2013 at 6:56am - misc - by stillhave2years - United States
Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38556) - you deserved it (2476)
On 05/20/2013 at 7:57am - kids - by AuntPeePee - United States
Today, my mom accused my cat of being a "manipulator", and said that we should get rid of him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21131) - you deserved it (2495)
On 05/24/2013 at 3:04am - animals - by seriously - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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