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Saturday 30 August 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

#21247589
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24004) - you deserved it (3071)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16am - misc - by AgentOrion - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was fixing the plumbing at my father-in-law's house. I told him to shut off the water and yell to me when he did. A few minutes later, I heard a yell and removed the pipe. I was met with a face full of water. Turns out he was just very excited when the Rangers beat the Mariners. FML

#21245661
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32209) - you deserved it (3049)

On 08/26/2014 at 7:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML

#21247445
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23393) - you deserved it (2969)

On 08/28/2014 at 9:47pm - love - by ch4nny (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after coming home from a two week vacation, my dog was pink, there were beer bottles and used condoms on my bed, and everything was a mess. I asked my sister, who'd been watching over the place, what had happened. She just said "Oops." and hung up. FML

#21246633
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30286) - you deserved it (2674)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:52pm - misc - by nayahbear24 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I told my mom I've been taking yoga lessons, and that it'd be cool if she took some with me. She immediately went on a rant, calling yoga "satanic" and accusing me of trying to get her into "devil worship". Well, that's the last time I try to patch our relationship up. FML

#21245163
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31666) - you deserved it (2510)

On 08/25/2014 at 4:14pm - misc - by fanaticalfuckspawn (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at my father's funeral, they were playing the song from Phantom of the Opera where she sings about her lost father. Apparently the song organizer forgot to edit out the part where her romantic interest runs toward her and yells, "That... That THING is not your father!" FML

#21245330
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32301) - you deserved it (2475)

On 08/25/2014 at 7:55pm - misc - by NotThePhantom - United States (California)

Today, I won a goldfish at the amusement park. My little brother took him out of the bowl because he thought he was drowning. FML

#21246787
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29388) - you deserved it (2453)

On 08/27/2014 at 10:33pm - kids - by That idiot - United States (Nevada)

Today, I tried to contact my college's financial aid office. After listening to the same damn "Our counselors are busy" message for over an hour, someone picked up the phone and hung up immediately. FML

Today, my brother thought jumping out and punching me in the stomach would cure my hiccups. Yeah. Didn't work. FML

#21246592
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27592) - you deserved it (2302)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:56pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, it's been a few months since my grandfather passed away. Now all of his porn subscriptions are getting forwarded to my address. FML

#21246620
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29289) - you deserved it (2294)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:03pm - misc - by dr.mantistobagon (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, as I was driving out of a parking lot, some douchebag yelled at me: "Nice car! Too bad you're so ugly!" It was my friend's car, so I don't even have that going for me. FML

#21246563
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30582) - you deserved it (2238)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:21pm - misc - by leem (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, while walking to work, I found out what it feels like to be hit in the face by a rolled up newspaper thrown from the window of a moving car by a paper boy doing his rounds. It hit hard enough to give me a black eye. FML

#21246995
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27644) - you deserved it (2129)

On 08/28/2014 at 6:31am - work - by newswithabitofbite (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my demented little sister walked up to me and kicked me between the legs. I told my parents, but they just accusingly asked me what I did to provoke her. When I said "nothing", they accused me of lying. There is no justice. FML

#21247278
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26508) - you deserved it (2040)

On 08/28/2014 at 5:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Portugal



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