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Sunday 21 December 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to the dry-cleaner's and went to get my bag of laundry from my trunk, but I ended up dropping the bag. My dirty underwear blew around the parking lot. I had to chase it all down as a bunch of people looked on. FML

#21320377
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20807) - you deserved it (2493)

On 12/19/2014 at 2:24pm - misc - by embarrassed - United States

Today, the lady whose son I babysit sent me a text, saying she left a gift for me for all the hard work I've done. I found a beautifully-wrapped box where she said the gift was. It turned out my actual gift was cookies sitting right next to it. FML

Today, my mom told me how lucky I was to inherit her "asymptomatic" periods. It's true, I don't get cramps, bloating or mood swings with my periods. Nope, just excruciatingly painful diarrhea. Thanks, mom. FML

#21318154
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28027) - you deserved it (2390)

On 12/15/2014 at 8:23pm - misc - by period_probs (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after six long, hard years of involuntary celibacy, I was finally about to get laid. Except it was just a dream, and in it my mom stormed in just as things got heated, called me a useless cunt, and told me to go do my chores. I guess my brain forgot I moved out years ago. FML

#21320480
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19927) - you deserved it (2367)

On 12/19/2014 at 6:14pm - intimacy - by giantblueballsthesizeofjohnnysinscock (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I felt a horrible pain while having sex with my wife, and I had to stop. I thought it was a hernia or something, but she called me a liar and accused me of everything from not finding her attractive, to me cheating on her. It turned out I had appendicitis. She still won't apologize. FML

#21319192
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34569) - you deserved it (2325)

On 12/17/2014 at 3:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML

#21320716
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17753) - you deserved it (2313)

On 12/20/2014 at 2:33am - love - by qyx3lmnop24 - United States (California)

Today, a student's mother sent me an e-mail complaining that I was requiring her child to read a book containing mild profanity. She then demanded me to let him read an easier book. This would've been somewhat acceptable if the student wasn't in the 12th grade. FML

#21318762
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29261) - you deserved it (2224)

On 12/16/2014 at 9:11pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mother-in-law asked for a copy of my son's death certificate so she could have her week-long island beach holiday classed as bereavement leave. FML

Today, I got 3 different rejection letters mailed to me from the same college. FML

#21320043
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26270) - you deserved it (2167)

On 12/18/2014 at 11:04pm - misc - by ai_lauren (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, someone backed straight into my car as I was hunting for a parking spot. I just got my car back from the body shop after a hit-and-run. FML

#21318499
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27497) - you deserved it (2029)

On 12/16/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by shit_fer_luck (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend tried to convince me that she didn't "technically" cheat on me, because the other guy came on her and not inside her. FML

#21320297
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24732) - you deserved it (1889)

On 12/19/2014 at 11:16am - love - by "technically" my ex-girlfriend - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, after finally finishing a huge internal rebranding project at work, which I've poured blood, sweat and tears into over the last 12 months, I found out we're being acquired by another company and that our new brand will no longer exist. FML

#21319043
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26758) - you deserved it (1799)

On 12/17/2014 at 8:43am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, my date mugged me, just minutes after I paid our bill at the restaurant. FML

#21320485
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22710) - you deserved it (1645)

On 12/19/2014 at 6:27pm - money - by j4 - United Kingdom



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