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Friday 4 September 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boss told me that the company will be hiring a programmer for our department. I had the idea for the position when we went over my 3-year career path last month, but it wasn't approved. I now get to look over résumés from other people applying for my dream job. FML

#21463347
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19515) - you deserved it (1232)

On 09/01/2015 at 11:30am - work - by Not a programmer yet (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got fired from my childcare job of five years because the other staff weren't as popular with the kids, so they accused me of being "creepy" because the kids all wanted to play a game with me instead of them. FML

#21463241
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22816) - you deserved it (1204)

On 09/01/2015 at 12:40am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had yet another debilitating migraine that kept me awake. In the middle of the night, I heard an owl hooting. Thinking it was cool, I moved closer to the open window to hear better. After a few minutes, I realized it was actually my new neighbor having loud sex. My aunt moved in next door. FML

#21463837
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16090) - you deserved it (1187)

On 09/02/2015 at 5:52pm - intimacy - by Hooty (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I got a notice from the housing association, if I don't water my lawn I will be charged a $150 fine. Yet if I do water my lawn the city with charge me a $150 fine because of the drought. FML

#21463419
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20636) - you deserved it (1167)

On 09/01/2015 at 3:43pm - misc - by really? - United States

Today, someone left sticky notes with inspirational messages on everyone's locker. Well, almost everyone. My locker was the only one without a note. FML

#21463756
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14549) - you deserved it (1167)

On 09/02/2015 at 2:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss found me on a dating app. He found it perfectly acceptable to message me and didn't understand why I wasn't comfortable with it. He now wants to have a meeting with me about inappropriate behavior outside of work. FML

#21463971
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15613) - you deserved it (1158)

On 09/02/2015 at 11:37pm - work - by ihatemyjob - United States (Mississippi)

Today, a customer service guy called to fix a problem I've been having with my phone. When it transpired that he couldn't help, he transferred me to another representative. This other representative ended up being a John Deere dealer in Michigan. FML

#21463522
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16805) - you deserved it (1143)

On 09/01/2015 at 10:26pm - misc - by NotBuyingATractor (man) - United States (California)

Today, my doctor informed me that the tests we've been doing the previous months show no sign of leukemia. I was just about to express my relief when he casually followed up with, "Never mind, there's still a lot of other blood-related diseases we need to look out for." FML

#21463645
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18834) - you deserved it (1109)

On 09/02/2015 at 6:09am - health - by Lily (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I finally got the results of months of extensive psychological testing to determine why I did so well in my course but performed so terribly on the job. Turns out I'm autistic. FML

#21463718
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15421) - you deserved it (1026)

On 09/02/2015 at 11:41am - work - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, after the doctor poking around my urethra and vagina at a lump. She turns to me and says, "I'm going to be honest, I have no idea what that is. Have some antibiotics and we'll see how it goes in two weeks." Excuse me while I go panic in a corner. FML

#21463826
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15710) - you deserved it (977)

On 09/02/2015 at 5:10pm - health - by freakingout (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, the priest at my wedding farted. Everyone thought it was me. The guests, my bride, even the priest himself looked at me in disgust before continuing. FML

#21463909
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17004) - you deserved it (956)

On 09/02/2015 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dad made me and my boyfriend break up. Not because he was a bad influence, but because I was. FML

#21464255
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3026) - you deserved it (777)

On 09/03/2015 at 7:31pm - love - by bestgirlfriend (woman) - United Kingdom (Stockton-on-Tees)

Today, I had to create another signature. I have to use one at the bank and the other around my mother, so that when she tries to cash my paychecks the bank won't let her. FML

#21464185
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12975) - you deserved it (752)

On 09/03/2015 at 3:54pm - misc - by Why - United States (California)



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