Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Thursday 18 December 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my family got into a massive argument about whether or not battery-operated toothbrushes are considered electric toothbrushes. Everyone is in their own room and refuses to talk to each other. FML

#21318050
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24826) - you deserved it (2612)

On 12/15/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by thechaos (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, my parents decided to "discipline" my kitten by spraying her with water. This somehow managed to completely un-train her, and now she's back to being the compulsive biter she was when I first brought her home. FML

#21318466
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24097) - you deserved it (2611)

On 12/16/2014 at 10:01am - animals - by scars - United States (Illinois)

Today, my cat let out the biggest moan I have ever heard, while we were both in the living room. My dad heard and accused me of watching porn. FML

#21317874
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27745) - you deserved it (2375)

On 12/15/2014 at 11:07am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I decided to splurge and get valet parking at a fancy restaurant. I got out of the car and gave the man my keys and watched as he slowly backed my car into another car. FML

#21319039
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24851) - you deserved it (2331)

On 12/17/2014 at 8:33am - misc - by seriously - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to the lovely sounds of goats having escaped their pen and climbed onto the roof. Again. FML

#21318538
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22360) - you deserved it (2220)

On 12/16/2014 at 1:42pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom told me how lucky I was to inherit her "asymptomatic" periods. It's true, I don't get cramps, bloating or mood swings with my periods. Nope, just excruciatingly painful diarrhea. Thanks, mom. FML

#21318154
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26043) - you deserved it (2190)

On 12/15/2014 at 8:23pm - misc - by period_probs (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a toaster and a fork as a wedding gift. FML

#21318970
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23745) - you deserved it (2128)

On 12/17/2014 at 2:35am - love - by monster in law. - United States

Today, a student's mother sent me an e-mail complaining that I was requiring her child to read a book containing mild profanity. She then demanded me to let him read an easier book. This would've been somewhat acceptable if the student wasn't in the 12th grade. FML

#21318762
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25408) - you deserved it (1893)

On 12/16/2014 at 9:11pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, someone backed straight into my car as I was hunting for a parking spot. I just got my car back from the body shop after a hit-and-run. FML

#21318499
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25026) - you deserved it (1811)

On 12/16/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by shit_fer_luck (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I felt a horrible pain while having sex with my wife, and I had to stop. I thought it was a hernia or something, but she called me a liar and accused me of everything from not finding her attractive, to me cheating on her. It turned out I had appendicitis. She still won't apologize. FML

#21319192
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27768) - you deserved it (1802)

On 12/17/2014 at 3:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my mother-in-law asked for a copy of my son's death certificate so she could have her week-long island beach holiday classed as bereavement leave. FML

#21319326
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28345) - you deserved it (1506)

On 12/17/2014 at 7:48pm - misc - by drbckflps (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had my midterm finals for AP Literature. My teacher had good news and bad news for us. The bad news? That he lost the file for our original exam and so had to make a harder exam for us. An exam he told us not to study for. The good news? "Jesus Christ suffered and died for our sins." FML

#21319606
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17689) - you deserved it (1485)

On 12/18/2014 at 7:11am - misc - by Overachieving Loser (woman) - Guam

Today, after finally finishing a huge internal rebranding project at work, which I've poured blood, sweat and tears into over the last 12 months, I found out we're being acquired by another company and that our new brand will no longer exist. FML

#21319043
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21743) - you deserved it (1410)

On 12/17/2014 at 8:43am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: