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Thursday 21 August 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk to the girl I like. After awkwardly saying hi, I manage to work up a nice conversation with her. I thought everything was going well, until I got home and realized that she had stolen money out of my wallet. FML

#21240655
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30629) - you deserved it (3165)

On 08/18/2014 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when we heard a screech. My two cats were having it harder than us. FML

#21241441
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22270) - you deserved it (2940)

On 08/20/2014 at 2:07am - intimacy - by Mia (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I listened to a little girl explain how her scabs taste great with lemon juice. FML

#21240451
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32413) - you deserved it (2854)

On 08/18/2014 at 11:13am - kids - by Stellarum (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, a customer told my boss I was too pushy because I asked her what bra size she wears. I work at a lingerie store. I got a stern lecture from my boss. FML

#21240726
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30228) - you deserved it (2292)

On 08/18/2014 at 10:59pm - work - by sorrynotsorry (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, it's the 16th day of my period. FML

#21241406
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33153) - you deserved it (2143)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:15am - health - by BagelTheOtaku (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was waiting at a stop light in the left turn lane, when a homeless guy on the sidewalk walked up to my car with a, "Bet you can't hit me with a quarter" sign. The lady on my right decided to throw a quarter at him, but it missed and hit my windshield. She yelled, "Oh fuck!" and drove away. FML

Today, I'm getting married. I have a big poofy white dress and, oh yes, the shits. Here's hoping I can make it down the aisle without rushing off to the toilet. FML

#21241662
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16019) - you deserved it (1120)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:01pm - love - by ithinkicanmakeit - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my 24-year-old, unemployed brother stole all of my food money and went out with his friends. His punishment from our parents? He has to pay me back when he gets a job. My stomach has to wait. FML

#21241750
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14850) - you deserved it (950)

On 08/20/2014 at 2:59pm - money - by HungryStudent (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4440) - you deserved it (751)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML

#21241880
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4392) - you deserved it (597)

On 08/20/2014 at 6:14pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML

#21241796
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4462) - you deserved it (327)

On 08/20/2014 at 4:08pm - misc - by sonofaneuroticwench (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



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