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Saturday 1 August 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up on the couch and realized I had fallen asleep while doing laundry. Ran to the laundry room, and found all my clothes gone. I really wish I hadn't been doing a load of all my pants. FML

#21449249
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18397) - you deserved it (2396)

On 07/29/2015 at 9:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML

#21448078
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22970) - you deserved it (2360)

On 07/27/2015 at 2:55pm - love - by Afroman720 (man) - United States

Today, I realized the only reason my mom trusts me to stay home alone for long periods of time is because I don't have enough friends to throw a party. FML

#21448086
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23548) - you deserved it (2169)

On 07/27/2015 at 3:12pm - misc - by Not turnt - United States (New York)

Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML

#21448216
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24749) - you deserved it (1983)

On 07/27/2015 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over the phone, after having left me to look after her dog while she went on a 2-week vacation with her family. Now I have to choose between paying for a kennel for her damn dog or taking care of it every day until she gets back. FML

#21448527
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22060) - you deserved it (1947)

On 07/28/2015 at 11:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my sister and I were planning a trip to get away from things and visit some faraway friends. My dad then decided to insert himself into our plans. He got mad when we said no, and couldn't understand why we wanted to go by ourselves. FML

#21448997
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18916) - you deserved it (1938)

On 07/29/2015 at 8:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my business got broken into and I lost a lot of valuable equipment. Although I have 24/7 security guards, they left in the middle of the burglary because they were too scared to stop the burglars or even to call the police. FML

#21449035
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23796) - you deserved it (1868)

On 07/29/2015 at 11:30am - money - by fukingtigans (man) - Croatia (Zadarska)

Today, I waited 45 minutes at the Apple Store for my grandpa to very loudly ask why PornHub wasn't loading on his computer. FML

#21448024
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24472) - you deserved it (1833)

On 07/27/2015 at 12:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out my pregnant sister has been watching Teen Mom 2 to find out how to be a good parent. FML

#21447950
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25716) - you deserved it (1831)

On 07/27/2015 at 8:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I decided to start jogging to keep fit. I was passed about ten times by the same car, carrying four bozos whose vocabulary consisted only of, "TITTIES!" and copious amounts of giggling. FML

Today, I got fired from my new job on my first day. Why? Because I'm 19 and company policy says you have to be 21. But they can't ask how old you are. FML

#21449086
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19832) - you deserved it (1817)

On 07/29/2015 at 2:40pm - work - by jobless and broke - United States (Arizona)

Today, while shopping with my sister, she asked me to wait for her while she quickly said hello to a friend. I sat on a bench for an hour before I realised she wasn't coming back. Turns out "hello" had turned into a date. FML

#21449387
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21202) - you deserved it (1781)

On 07/30/2015 at 2:56am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, at a baseball game, I smiled and waved at the little girl in front of me. She cried. FML



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Friday 31 July 2015

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