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Saturday 22 November 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my parents gave me fat burner pills for my birthday. FML

#21300816
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30830) - you deserved it (4796)

On 11/17/2014 at 4:05pm - misc - by fatty - United States (Virginia)

Today, my supervisor was watching a video of his son. I heard a voice in the background and asked if it was Elmo. It was his wife. FML

#21302177
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27383) - you deserved it (4601)

On 11/19/2014 at 3:56pm - work - by bookworm - United States (Texas)

Today, the girl I'd been dating online for 6 months told me she was a guy. I said it was alright, and that I was still in love. Then she confessed she really was a girl, and was just trying to make me dump her so she wouldn't be the "bad guy". FML

#21303306
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24162) - you deserved it (4466)

On 11/21/2014 at 1:18pm - love - by Recluse (man) -

Today, I knocked an old-school slide carousel off my desk, scattering nearly 100 individual slides everywhere, including the specific slides my professor asked me to digitally scan, which were placed carefully on top. None of them are numbered. FML

#21302910
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20167) - you deserved it (4102)

On 11/20/2014 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, a customer said the pants she was buying rang up more than advertised. I quietly told her plus-sizes were not on sale. The customer yelled in front of a whole line of people, "So I'm fat and can't read! Any other insults you'd like to throw at me?" and stormed out of the store. FML

#21301098
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30030) - you deserved it (3820)

On 11/17/2014 at 11:16pm - work - by HereToLaughAtU (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I noticed my fish was still hungry after feeding him earlier. I figured "ehh a little bit more won't kill him". I was wrong. FML

#21303699
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13245) - you deserved it (3522)

On 11/22/2014 at 2:22am - animals - by liishax3 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in the middle of a boring class, my friend offered me some Smarties. We're not allowed to eat in class, but I had a couple anyway. As I put them in my mouth, my "friend" stood up and yelled that I was doing ecstasy. I might actually get expelled. FML

#21301367
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34756) - you deserved it (3446)

On 11/18/2014 at 12:26pm - misc - by drugsforthugs - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML

#21301400
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38701) - you deserved it (3284)

On 11/18/2014 at 1:57pm - misc - by steak through the heart - United States (California)

Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML

#21301827
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29425) - you deserved it (3199)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:27am - intimacy - by jigglypluff (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my 12-year-old daughter informed me that she is eager to lose her virginity, "Because I don't want to be thrown into a volcano!" FML

#21300667
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29959) - you deserved it (3185)

On 11/17/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the doctor's with my pregnant sister, only to find out she still weighs less than me. FML

#21303583
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13568) - you deserved it (3158)

On 11/21/2014 at 10:26pm - health - by alli67 -

Today, I spent 20 minutes arguing with the class dipshit, trying to convince her that wifi hot-spots are not in fact saunas powered by wifi. FML

#21302021
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25872) - you deserved it (3039)

On 11/19/2014 at 10:09am - misc - by Donutsarelife - United States

Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

#21300835
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26139) - you deserved it (3007)

On 11/17/2014 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)



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