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Friday 31 October 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML

#21286332
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42786) - you deserved it (3218)

On 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by subduedbeast - United States

Today, my dad vehemently refused to let me go on vacation to France with my best friend, because he watched Taken a few months ago and apparently forgot that it's just a movie. FML

#21287659
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24334) - you deserved it (3178)

On 10/29/2014 at 1:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my skinny co-worker complained that sitting just underneath the AC vent was making her too cold. My boss had us switch places, because "your mass keeps you warm anyway". FML

#21288043
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21792) - you deserved it (3090)

On 10/29/2014 at 10:41pm - work - by OfficeFatty - United States

Today, my little sister decided to color-in my favorite black-and-white comic book. It was worth over $200. When I told my mother, she said, "Oh that old thing? I thought it was a stupid coloring book you were too stupid to color." FML

Today, I cut myself pretty badly with a knife. I was bleeding quite a lot, so I yelled to my husband to bring me some kitchen roll, along with the first aid kit. He rushed in with the roll… to clean the floor. FML

#21286263
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26573) - you deserved it (2931) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/27/2014 at 10:22am - health - by DiiiDiiine (woman) - France (Limousin)

Today, I overheard my co-workers talking about how they don't need flu shots because everyone else gets them. These people are in the medical industry. FML

#21286250
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28629) - you deserved it (2788)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:40am - work - by Silbax1 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom talked to me and my brother about how great it was that our cousin was getting away from drugs and becoming sober, as he would have so many more opportunities opened up for him now. She explained all this while sitting on our patio, smoking a blunt. FML

#21287196
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26105) - you deserved it (2703)

On 10/28/2014 at 7:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it's my 20th birthday. I recently came home from college to visit my family, after my mother had a stroke a few weeks back. She ended up being the only person who remembered to get me anything. She also thinks it's still 2009. FML

#21286282
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31725) - you deserved it (2682)

On 10/27/2014 at 12:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to a first aid training course. I had to lie on the floor and pretend I was unconscious. We were supposed to be doing the recovery position, but the guy I was working with decided to perform CPR instead and grope my boobs in the process. FML

#21287010
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27573) - you deserved it (2569)

On 10/28/2014 at 2:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I watched my co-worker throw the mother of all temper tantrums. He's a radio personality, and just learned that he's not famous enough to use the "Don't you know who I am?" line to get out of a traffic ticket. FML

#21286268
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27367) - you deserved it (2499)

On 10/27/2014 at 12:25pm - work - by Radio GaGa (man) - Canada

Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML

#21287735
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24266) - you deserved it (2403)

On 10/29/2014 at 3:39pm - kids - by lexigan4 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I watched as the teenage neighbor girl tried to parallel-park between me and my wife's cars. She was doing pretty well until she backed into mine, got scared, hit the accelerator and ran into my wife's. FML

#21287621
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31574) - you deserved it (2295)

On 10/29/2014 at 11:24am - misc - by carless - United States

Today, I tried approaching this cute girl. She quickly picked up the nearest calculator and started talking into it, in a desperate act to seem busy. FML

#21288185
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20575) - you deserved it (2078)

On 10/30/2014 at 1:38am - love - by 41yearoldvirgin - United States (California)



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