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Thursday 23 October 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got my graduation photos back. I'd sent them to a friend for touching up, but unfortunately we had a major argument recently. I guess that's why in the photos I've been photoshopped out and replaced with a goat. FML

#21283103
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16528) - you deserved it (2974)

On 10/22/2014 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got stuck on an airplane for a while before takeoff. Someone decided it was a great time to get diarrhea while on the toilet, and we couldn't take off for safety reasons. FML

#21282479
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23756) - you deserved it (2812)

On 10/21/2014 at 4:13pm - misc - by Airplane crap - United States (Kansas)

Today, my sister ended her long and extremely annoying crush on Justin Bieber. I can only hope one day my girlfriend will end hers too. FML

#21282066
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25279) - you deserved it (2803)

On 10/20/2014 at 10:29pm - love - by DanTheMan (man) -

Today, I was skating in the city when I slipped and fractured my arm. As I was lying in pain, a guy walked up to me, frisked my pocket and took my wallet. He then said: "It's nothing personal." FML

#21281599
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31796) - you deserved it (2618)

On 10/20/2014 at 4:50am - misc - by ColdStones (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I fell asleep on the couch. My parents didn't wake me up, went to bed and set our burglar alarm. If I trip a motion sensor, a siren will go off. The motion sensor in my living room is pointed directly at me and I have to pee. It's been 2 hours. FML

#21282761
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22456) - you deserved it (2606)

On 10/21/2014 at 10:11pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, after my dad trying every bait, hormone, and poison, the cockroaches in this apartment have gone crazy. They are trying to kill themselves. One tried to commit suicide, by suffocation, in my mouth this morning. FML

#21282365
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28736) - you deserved it (2577)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:42am - misc - by youngboob (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML

#21281604
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30153) - you deserved it (2381)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:28am - intimacy - by bye loser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML

#21283066
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20523) - you deserved it (2368)

On 10/22/2014 at 12:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, my son gave me a bottle of shampoo for my birthday. I'm as bald as a coot. FML

#21282364
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24623) - you deserved it (2317)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:41am - kids - by Bald (man) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, after emptying the dishwasher, I noticed something in the back by the drain. It looked like a turkey bone. Upon closer inspection, it was a mouse carcass. I have no idea how many loads of dishes have gone through with it in there. FML

#21283044
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21736) - you deserved it (2262)

On 10/22/2014 at 10:47am - animals - by MouserMan - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boss drove past me while I was walking to work, and splashing mud over my uniform. When I got to work, he criticized me for showing up in unpresentable condition. FML

#21281679
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30856) - you deserved it (2205)

On 10/20/2014 at 11:03am - work - by Chansus10 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

#21282836
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22653) - you deserved it (2226)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)

Today, while doing physical therapy exercises for my broken leg, I managed to throw my back out. Now I can neither walk nor sit up. FML

#21281586
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25775) - you deserved it (2166)

On 10/20/2014 at 4:00am - health - by cray12 - United States



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Friday 17 October 2014

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