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Friday 18 April 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML

#21112565
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34428) - you deserved it (4100)

On 04/14/2014 at 2:29am - intimacy - by teddyissmall (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, our family went to a water park. The park's mascot came up to greet us, and my daughter got scared. She then refused to go inside, so we had no choice but to leave. FML

#21114019
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26402) - you deserved it (3902)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:20pm - kids - by Someone (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was looking at the map on my phone whilst walking down a street. I heard the sound of a bike behind me so I moved to let the cyclist past. He snatched the phone out of my hand and sped off. FML

#21113059
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31567) - you deserved it (3864)

On 04/14/2014 at 7:43pm - misc - by stupidcunt (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I sat and watched the CEO of DreamWorks on TV misuse words such as "quantum". He's filthy rich, whereas I'm a savagely underpaid gardener. FML

Today, I was telling my dad about how annoying it was to constantly have my ten-year-old cousin message me about her new boyfriend, when he suddenly bursts out laughing about how she can get a boyfriend at ten, and I have never even kissed a guy and I'm seventeen. FML

#21114115
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30706) - you deserved it (3645)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:18pm - love - by Foreveralone17362562 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40391) - you deserved it (3517)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend turned down a job that would have more than doubled his income because he didn't want to upset his current boss by quitting. FML

Today, I realized that the only female who shows any sexual interest in me at all is my 70-year-old neighbor. FML

#21113897
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30651) - you deserved it (3007)

On 04/15/2014 at 5:55pm - love - by gerontofuck (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to a restaurant for a friend's birthday. There were two very attractive waiters. They waited until I went to the toilet to sit down, talk to my friends and hit on them. They promptly left upon my return. Men avoid me. FML

#21114882
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27723) - you deserved it (2976)

On 04/16/2014 at 8:00pm - love - by kittykat798 (woman) - United Kingdom (Dundee City)

Today, I got a Facebook message from a cute guy I used to work with. He admitted to liking me and when I asked why we never hung out he admitted that my dad, his boss at the time, threatened every guy I have ever worked with. FML

#21113585
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37240) - you deserved it (2802)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:01am - love - by cricha4208 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I decided to go to a therapy group to help with my anxiety and to meet people who felt similar. I joked with my friend that no one would turn up as people might feel anxious about going. I was right. I was the only one there. FML

#21113050
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30965) - you deserved it (2669)

On 04/14/2014 at 7:34pm - misc - by all by myself (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, it's my birthday. The only people who wished me a happy birthday were the ones who saw the "birthday boy" poster my sister plastered around school, which included a photo of me as a kid dressed up as a girl. FML

#21114561
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29710) - you deserved it (2624)

On 04/16/2014 at 1:24pm - misc - by birthdaygirl - United States (California)

Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his interest in receiving oral sex; I tried to convey just how inappropriate that was, when he interrupted, "Look, will you at least touch it?" FML

#21114779
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30417) - you deserved it (2475)

On 04/16/2014 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by MILF (woman) - United States (Missouri)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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