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Sunday 22 December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, it was safe to say I started sleepwalking again, after I woke up with a mouth filled with soil and a ravaged plant. FML

#20995711
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39641) - you deserved it (3505)

On 12/17/2013 at 10:38am - health - by adventurousnightsbutnotinagoodway (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, a guy punched me in the subway for staring at his girlfriend. I had dark glasses on, and was fast asleep. FML

#21002133
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46119) - you deserved it (3501)

On 12/23/2013 at 3:24am - misc - by GogglesGoggles - United States

Today, after being married for 20 years, I found out that my wife has accounts on multiple dating sites, "just in case." FML

#21007851
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43296) - you deserved it (3464)

On 12/28/2013 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I caught a man standing on my porch, urinating on my house. I called the cops, who informed me that because my porch isn't fenced off, it's not trespassing, and because it's private property not visible from the street, the man wasn't urinating in public. FML

Today, me and some friends had home-made burgers for lunch. The guy who did the cooking later insisted that spitting in a frying pan is a perfectly acceptable way of guessing the right time to add the oil. FML

#21009569
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39426) - you deserved it (3427)

On 12/29/2013 at 6:28pm - health - by HungerStrike (man) - Czech Republic (Stredocesky kraj)

Today, my boyfriend bought me a pair of jeans. I couldn't fit into them, and he reacted to this by saying I've gotten too fat for him, and he can't be with me anymore. I took them off and saw they were a size 4. I've been a size 8 for the past 2 years, and he knows this. FML

#21008500
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45076) - you deserved it (3415)

On 12/28/2013 at 5:34pm - health - by worstwaytodumpagirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Harrow)

Today, the only conversation I had with my mother where she didn't explode into a hissy fit was about peanut butter vs. almond butter. And even then she was starting to get mad at me. FML

#21006901
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36410) - you deserved it (3370)

On 12/27/2013 at 1:40am - misc - by anon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out about my co-workers' new game. Whoever talks to me first loses. FML

Today, I have to take time off from work to take part in an intervention because my sister's obsession with the guy from Harry Potter has crossed over into illegality. FML

#21009908
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41779) - you deserved it (3314)

On 12/29/2013 at 11:23pm - misc - by LeaveHimAlone (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I finally told my father that I was picked on at college all this year over my hearing disability. When I told him one of the jokes they made about me, he burst out into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. FML

#20999250
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43084) - you deserved it (3309)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I called a pest control company to ask them to come over to my place to help get rid of rats. The person on the phone told me to "be a man and stop acting like a girl". I'm a woman. FML

#20994255
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39657) - you deserved it (3290)

On 12/16/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by Mary (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML

#20994621
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56970) - you deserved it (3269)

On 12/16/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by confsused - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend informed me that our relationship is an open one. This was only after I was told that when she was "stuck in traffic" two days ago, she was actually playing the triple-X version of Twister in my "best friend's" bed. FML

#21008373
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43364) - you deserved it (3258)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:07pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - France (Rhone-Alpes)



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