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Sunday 22 December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was helping my mom look for some money she'd misplaced. At my wit's end, I flipped through her diary, in case she'd hidden it between the pages as she has before. Didn't find the money, but I did find out she might well be cheating on my dad. FML

#21000942
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38523) - you deserved it (7485)

On 12/22/2013 at 1:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML

#20996030
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53855) - you deserved it (7102)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, in a desperate attempt to add some variety to my life, I resorted to closing my eyes and picking a random font for my essay paper. FML

#20998799
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31347) - you deserved it (7036)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:02am - misc - by Jess (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML

#21001267
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50005) - you deserved it (6928)

On 12/22/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by bleach bleach bleach (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I met a great guy at the bar, and we went back to my place. He left before I woke up, leaving a badly-scrawled note saying, "Gone to work, call me!" I couldn't make out the number. FML

#20996904
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36758) - you deserved it (6769)

On 12/18/2013 at 12:01pm - love - by whereismyprince? - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a DJ friend of mine offered me a part in one of his tracks. I was flattered, and accepted. All I ended up singing was, "I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch" over and over again in the background. FML

#21008243
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37858) - you deserved it (6632) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/28/2013 at 9:46am - misc - by Cacahuete (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, Christmas changed my life. Last year I had a boyfriend to cuddle with on Christmas; this year I have a body pillow of an anime character. FML

#21004509
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37316) - you deserved it (6546)

On 12/25/2013 at 2:46am - love - by lonely otaku (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I realized how bad my depression has gotten when I caught myself fantasizing about suicide while having sex with my husband. FML

#20994372
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54021) - you deserved it (6481)

On 12/16/2013 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48754) - you deserved it (6439)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking a shower with my boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closed he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into my eyes. Neither of us could see. FML

#20994581
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43442) - you deserved it (6311)

On 12/16/2013 at 11:44am - misc - by abc123 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband called me from the store, trying to decide whether or not to buy the new games console he's been wanting. I'd already purchased one and hid it, ready for Christmas Day. I couldn't talk him into not buying himself one. There goes a $500 surprise. FML

#20995972
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43145) - you deserved it (6244)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:17pm - money - by pissed (woman) - United States

Today, I ran for the first time in ages when I saw my bus coming. My loose shoe went flying into a shop doorway, and I tripped into the gutter. FML

#21009861
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32779) - you deserved it (6005)

On 12/29/2013 at 10:52pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me his theory on how the world would be a better place if Hitler had won the 2nd World War. FML

#20995909
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40783) - you deserved it (5981)

On 12/17/2013 at 3:02pm - misc - by Well this Is Awkward (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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