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Sunday 22 December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I pretended to cry in front of my cat because she doesn't cuddle with me anymore. Yeah, I tried to guilt-trip my cat into loving me. FML

#21003528
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40064) - you deserved it (10494)

On 12/24/2013 at 11:53am - animals - by PityKitty (woman) -

Today, I did the "walk of shame" sixteen blocks. It wouldn't have been so bad if the sidewalks and streets weren't completely covered in ice. Somewhere along the way I lost what little dignity I had left, along with my left shoe. FML

#21000521
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37605) - you deserved it (10264)

On 12/21/2013 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I took an extra xanax to help with my anxiety, then went to sleep. I guess it was probably too much, because I woke up a few hours later, freaking out and panicking because I was convinced I was a bee trapped in a human body. FML

#21008430
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40293) - you deserved it (9590)

On 12/28/2013 at 4:19pm - health - by beemove (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I asked my lazy daughter to go make her bed. She responded by lighting our garbage bin on fire. FML

#21001381
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39309) - you deserved it (9315)

On 12/22/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel

Today, I thought it would be to a good idea to introduce my indoor cat to my dog. The pee stains, multiple scratches, and puncture wounds to my face prove otherwise. FML

#20994387
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31545) - you deserved it (9195)

On 12/16/2013 at 3:52am - animals - by Ramis182 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to a party organised by my ex. I was the last to sit down, after looking at the nametags on all 50+ chairs. That's how I realised the chair labelled "Fuckface" was mine; the one located between her parents' seats. FML

#21006556
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37763) - you deserved it (8951) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/26/2013 at 6:50pm - misc - by Puick (man) - France (Centre)

Today, we got our Christmas bonuses. Instead of money, the company decided to give us all lunch boxes with the company name on them. I went ahead and put my lunch in mine, then put it in the break-room refrigerator. Apparently so did all the other employees. Now I can't find mine. FML

#21004456
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36361) - you deserved it (8360)

On 12/25/2013 at 1:38am - work - by peevedemployee - United States

Today, my mom called to bestow upon me warm holiday pearls of wisdom: "I hope you aren't giving everyone your natural handmade eco-shit again. Gifts should be returnable. And have a price." FML

Today, I watched "Time of the Doctor" and I'm pretty sure my love of Doctor Who slithered out through my ear and shamefully lodged itself in the darkest corner of the room, crying. FML

#21005939
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30946) - you deserved it (7948)

On 12/26/2013 at 7:08am - love - by anon - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

#20999459
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53172) - you deserved it (7922)

On 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by zamwow (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, rather than buying one pork chop big enough for myself, I bought two smaller chops just so the cashier wouldn't think I was eating by myself. FML

#20996744
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35578) - you deserved it (7799)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:30am - love - by LonelyPorkChop - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I thought it was a good idea to flush the stink bug I found in my kitchen. Later I went in the bathroom to take a crap, and next thing I know, I feel a stink bug on my privates. I guess it didn't flush after all. FML

#21000427
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34335) - you deserved it (7753)

On 12/21/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I sang a romantic song I wrote for my girlfriend. She laughed at my soprano. FML

#20996292
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35368) - you deserved it (7545)

On 12/17/2013 at 8:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - China (Shanghai)



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