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Sunday 22 December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML

#21008990
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27115) - you deserved it (55791)

On 12/29/2013 at 2:01am - kids - by ConfusedDad - United States

Today, I diagnosed a patient with a spastic colon. For some reason, the term "spastic colon" has always amused me, and I burst into uncontrollable laughter as I said it. By the time I managed to stop laughing, my eyes were watering and my patient was visibly angry. FML

#21002747
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21048) - you deserved it (43674)

On 12/23/2013 at 6:11pm - work - by dr immature (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML

#21009159
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50839) - you deserved it (26386)

On 12/29/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by Jizzyface (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I stopped at the gas station to fill up my tank and get some snacks. I paid the cashier, then got back into my car, totally forgetting to pump the $50 worth of fuel I'd just prepaid for. Too bad I didn't realize until my car came to a sputtering stop about a mile down the road. FML

#20999926
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37264) - you deserved it (21028)

On 12/21/2013 at 4:07am - misc - by AbsentMindedGal - United States

Today, I was looking for a job. I was so desperate for gas money to drive around town that I had to steal $20 from my sister. She's only 10 years old. FML

#20997840
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37242) - you deserved it (20771)

On 12/19/2013 at 8:12am - money - by tp2014 - United States (Georgia)

Today, while looking for some socks in my mom's dresser, I found a male g-string and an edible bra. FML

#20996935
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42045) - you deserved it (15875)

On 12/18/2013 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by Rob (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML

#21001045
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54461) - you deserved it (15713)

On 12/22/2013 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend refused to take a picture with me to prove to my friends that I do indeed have a girlfriend. I got so desperate that I photoshopped myself into one of her Facebook photos instead. FML

#20996955
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42679) - you deserved it (14121)

On 12/18/2013 at 1:23pm - love - by Wow. - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend to a local drag racing spot to get her more involved with my friends. Her ex showed up and wanted to race me. I won the race, but blew my engine. I had to use his dad's towing service to get my car home. FML

#21004910
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40255) - you deserved it (13786)

On 12/25/2013 at 1:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my husband and I were fighting over money. As we were arguing, our 13 year old daughter stole $250 dollars from my purse. FML

#21002634
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42898) - you deserved it (13608)

On 12/23/2013 at 4:10pm - money - by rainastartree - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to tell McDonald's that my 11-year-old son thought it would be funny to take a dump in the urinal. I then had to clean it up. FML

#20994572
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38569) - you deserved it (12916)

On 12/16/2013 at 11:34am - kids - by failedfather (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I guess she got bored because she started looking at her nails. FML

#21000013
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44030) - you deserved it (11868)

On 12/21/2013 at 9:13am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me via Facebook. I cared more about the spelling mistakes he made than the actual message. FML

#20994896
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38017) - you deserved it (10961)

On 12/16/2013 at 5:43pm - love - by dana (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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