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Sunday 15 December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I took my cat to the vet's. When the vet took her temperature anally, I couldn't stop laughing. The vet had to ask me to leave the room. FML

Today, I was playing with my dog, when she started sniffing my face. Jokingly, I got up and started to sniff her face back and asked "Yeah, how do you like that?" She replied by biting into my face. FML

#20993041
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25845) - you deserved it (32387)

On 12/15/2013 at 1:47am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was looking for a job. I was so desperate for gas money to drive around town that I had to steal $20 from my sister. She's only 10 years old. FML

#20997840
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37127) - you deserved it (20686)

On 12/19/2013 at 8:12am - money - by tp2014 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I stopped at the gas station to fill up my tank and get some snacks. I paid the cashier, then got back into my car, totally forgetting to pump the $50 worth of fuel I'd just prepaid for. Too bad I didn't realize until my car came to a sputtering stop about a mile down the road. FML

#20999926
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36573) - you deserved it (20621)

On 12/21/2013 at 4:07am - misc - by AbsentMindedGal - United States

Today, while trying to break up with my girlfriend, I somehow ended up begging her not to break up with me. I'm still not sure how that happened. FML

#20988052
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38904) - you deserved it (19724)

On 12/10/2013 at 6:38pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Bangladesh

Today, while looking for some socks in my mom's dresser, I found a male g-string and an edible bra. FML

#20996935
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41182) - you deserved it (15589)

On 12/18/2013 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by Rob (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML

#21001045
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52025) - you deserved it (14954)

On 12/22/2013 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend refused to take a picture with me to prove to my friends that I do indeed have a girlfriend. I got so desperate that I photoshopped myself into one of her Facebook photos instead. FML

#20996955
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40916) - you deserved it (13379)

On 12/18/2013 at 1:23pm - love - by Wow. - United States

Today, I had to tell McDonald's that my 11-year-old son thought it would be funny to take a dump in the urinal. I then had to clean it up. FML

#20994572
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37201) - you deserved it (12410)

On 12/16/2013 at 11:34am - kids - by failedfather (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I guess she got bored because she started looking at her nails. FML

#21000013
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43880) - you deserved it (11857)

On 12/21/2013 at 9:13am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me via Facebook. I cared more about the spelling mistakes he made than the actual message. FML

#20994896
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37905) - you deserved it (10928)

On 12/16/2013 at 5:43pm - love - by dana (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I did the "walk of shame" sixteen blocks. It wouldn't have been so bad if the sidewalks and streets weren't completely covered in ice. Somewhere along the way I lost what little dignity I had left, along with my left shoe. FML

#21000521
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39331) - you deserved it (10798)

On 12/21/2013 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found a credit card at my job. As store policy goes, we have to cut up lost cards immediately after finding them to protect the cardholders. As I grab the scissors and cut, my manager calls out, "Has anyone seen my credit card?" FML

#20988740
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44510) - you deserved it (10405)

On 12/11/2013 at 7:33am - work - by mariology (man) - United States (Delaware)



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