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Tuesday 5 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

#20950369
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44429) - you deserved it (3352)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad sitting on the toilet, blind drunk. He screamed "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me. I just wanted to shave. FML

#20946588
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38058) - you deserved it (3333)

On 11/05/2013 at 4:01pm - misc - by :/ (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I've invited friends and family to my birthday party. I've also come home to find that my parents didn't pay the water bill. I either have to tell everyone I know that they are uninvited or not to take dumps in my house. FML

#20949952
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37391) - you deserved it (3298)

On 11/08/2013 at 2:49am - misc - by sammyducks227 - United States (Missouri)

Today, my uncle gave me a very expensive bottle of champagne at a celebratory family event. We were celebrating me spending 1 year sober. FML

#20951207
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45259) - you deserved it (3224)

On 11/09/2013 at 8:20am - misc - by Falling off the wagon - United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove)

Today, I googled myself in preparation for my upcoming job interview. Turns out there's a girl on Twitter with my name and age who tweets nonstop about getting wasted and being on probation. She won't make her profile private. FML

#20944947
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43981) - you deserved it (3137)

On 11/04/2013 at 7:08am - work - by twitterfailsme (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, my relatives won't acknowledge my existence unless I'm posting a picture of my cat. They only talk about the cat. FML

#20946616
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33885) - you deserved it (3003)

On 11/05/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Steiner (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my five-year-old stepson announced that he is finally no longer scared of flushing toilets. Immediately after, I discovered that he's now decided that he's scared of the bathroom sink. FML

#20947649
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35447) - you deserved it (2957)

On 11/06/2013 at 11:33am - kids - by TheMommas (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to an over-crowded grocery store. As I reached the front of a long line, I noticed that a cart had been abandoned in everybody's way. Trying to be helpful, I moved it to the side. An enormous woman then shoved me and yelled at me for "pushing her property around." FML

#20953468
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34823) - you deserved it (2955)

On 11/11/2013 at 12:17am - misc - by PainStressLife - United States (California)

Today, I found out that shirt sizes don't get longer, they get wider. Being 6ft4, every shirt I try on makes me look like a cheap stripper. FML

#20954733
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40766) - you deserved it (2954)

On 11/12/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by Pongy (man) -

Today, I heard my dad complaining that he won't be able to go to a concert, because it's happening on my birthday. This is the first time he's even acknowledged my birthday in over ten years. FML

#20951699
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39985) - you deserved it (2917)

On 11/09/2013 at 5:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, working as a cashier, I had a customer come through and ask to purchase a bag of ice. I asked, "Eight pound or twenty pound?", referring to the clearly marked weight of the bags. He replied, "What's the difference?" FML

#20955463
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34544) - you deserved it (2867)

On 11/12/2013 at 6:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got a concussion. It was when an entire shelf of bicycle helmets tumbled onto my skull. FML

#20954433
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38395) - you deserved it (2828)

On 11/11/2013 at 9:14pm - health - by myheadhurts (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was mentioning to a coworker how there was a huge lull today in business. A young coworker then turns to me and says in a snooty tone, "I think you mean a 'lol', it's pronounced L-O-L." FML

#20953649
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42735) - you deserved it (2825)

On 11/11/2013 at 5:36am - work - by shut up. - New Zealand



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