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Tuesday 5 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML

#20951750
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62523) - you deserved it (4588)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:30pm - intimacy - by f (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my brother and I got into an intense argument that ended up with us trading blows and having the cops called on us. Apparently I was "insulting his intelligence" by trying to explain that you don't make buttermilk by putting butter in milk. He's 18. FML

Today, my husband and I went for our 20 week scan and found out we're having a girl. The first thing he said to me was, "The next one better be a boy or I'm leaving you". FML

#20952357
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49660) - you deserved it (4423)

On 11/10/2013 at 5:28am - kids - by Naomi - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, because I'm tall enough to see over the cubicle walls at work, I witnessed my 50-year-old co-worker pulling his finger out of his nose and immediately popping it into his mouth. FML

#20947682
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36122) - you deserved it (4329)

On 11/06/2013 at 12:27pm - work - by Wraith (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a text message consisting solely of emoticons. FML

#20950012
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44874) - you deserved it (4201)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:30am - love - by probablydodgedabullet - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after doing vigorous chores all day with my girlfriend, her mom came and paid us each $100. My girlfriend cried and threw a fit because she said they were her chores, so she deserves all the money. FML

#20952303
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46611) - you deserved it (4184)

On 11/10/2013 at 3:03am - love - by Go away - United States (Iowa)

Today, my husband got mad at me for not helping take out the groceries from the car. He yelled that I'm lazy, and that he regrets our marriage. I guess he forgot that the door handle on that side is broken and he had to let me out of the car. FML

#20953907
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45687) - you deserved it (4148)

On 11/11/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by LetMeOut - United States (Texas)

Today, I watched as my grandma beat the shit out of my dad at the zoo. FML

#20948659
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45013) - you deserved it (4109)

On 11/07/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Grandson - United States (California)

Today, I was at a party with a few of my friends. We saw a guy walking around with bright pink lipstick all over his mouth, so we made a bet to see who could match the lipstick to the girl first. I won. It was my girlfriend's. FML

#20953788
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55314) - you deserved it (4057)

On 11/11/2013 at 10:55am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I walked into my dorm room, only to witness my roommate shaving her vag over my trashcan. FML

#20950523
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49507) - you deserved it (4051)

On 11/08/2013 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by JN5SLK (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, at work, I had to explain to my co-manager at work what a period was, after he refused to let an employee go change her tampon. Afterwards, he panicked, saying he thought women made that up so they didn't have to have sex, before trying to send her to the hospital and fainting. We're 24. FML

#20944786
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62009) - you deserved it (4041)

On 11/04/2013 at 12:45am - intimacy - by TheTruthofWomen (woman) - United States

Today, the guy I really like asked me if I'd like to go to a hockey game this weekend. I said I'd love to go, so he said, "Then you'd best get a ticket soon before they sell out." I still don't know if I have a date or not. FML

#20947685
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43854) - you deserved it (4000)

On 11/06/2013 at 12:29pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my mother not only told me that my ex-husband will be spending Thanksgiving with her and my dad, but that I'm also no longer invited to spend the holiday with my family. FML

#20950805
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47467) - you deserved it (3911)

On 11/08/2013 at 9:54pm - misc - by zoe777 (woman) - United States



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