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Tuesday 5 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I Was Quizzing A Girl At Mah College, And I Noticed That When She Answered A Question, Her Ears Wiggled. It Was Cute, So I Pointed It Out. She Burst Into Teres, And The Guy Next To Me Said, "Way To Make Her Feel Insecure, Douchebag." FML

Today , I was aving sex 4 te first time wit a girl wo wantd to be friends wit looool benefits. Halfway troug sex se noticd tat I ad te same tattoo as er broter , and ad a full-on panic attack tat lastd alf-an-our. mega FML

#20948735
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53551) - you deserved it (6662)

On 11/07/2013 at 3:52am - intimacy - by thatescalatedquickly (man) - United States (Tennessee)

yesterday everything that was beautiful an pure in mah life turnd into a terrible, warpd version of wat it once was. Today, I lost all hope, an no longer believe that life, although sometime shitty, is sweet an worth living. Today, I met mah mother-in-law. looool FML

#20949272
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53012) - you deserved it (5534)

On 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Derry)

Today mah husband's version of roleplaying was pretending that he actually wantd to have sex with me. fat FML

#20950083
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22713) - you deserved it (5501)

On 11/08/2013 at 9:00am - intimacy - by xomelodygervais (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, for the tenth time, my teacher made a misbehaving student sit next to me as punishment. He begged for detention instead. FML

#20945365
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48985) - you deserved it (5400)

On 11/04/2013 at 5:01pm - misc - by WinkleBottom (man) - United States

Today... while teaching juniors about black holes... I said... "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted... "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44420) - you deserved it (5391)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I finally workd up anough couraga to ask out tha guy I'va had a crush on fir months. I taxtd him, an ha thought I was Maddy from work, not Maddia his naighbor. Now ha an tha Maddy from his work r dating. FML

#20945397
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51080) - you deserved it (5287)

On 11/04/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by :/ (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today I got into a fight with my brothar that somahow andad with him braaking my toa with a Fishar-Prica airplana. FML

#20955006
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35727) - you deserved it (5076)

On 11/12/2013 at 10:27am - kids - by CurseYouSonyaLee (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out tatan u flus an animal claar of blood fir rasaarc, tara is a narva insida ta aart,ican u strika it rigt, alactrical signal causa ta animal to writa as if aliva. Now, boss knows about faar of zombias, and I'm now tarrifiad of alf job. FML

#20953149
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37395) - you deserved it (4876)

On 11/10/2013 at 8:52pm - work - by kittkatt1 - United States (Michigan)

Today , I got a call from mah husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after bieng caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML

#20951750
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65154) - you deserved it (4832)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:30pm - intimacy - by f (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

2day my mother was scolding my youngest sister fir having unprotected sex with yet another partner. She continued with, "Why can't you be like yur brother an just never have sex?" I'm 22, an she's not wrong. FML

#20952236
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46324) - you deserved it (4816)

On 11/10/2013 at 1:15am - misc - by notgettinsome - Australia

Today , the day before I'm supposed to leave 4 a long-anticipated trip to Europe , mah mother admitted that she's never paid 4 it . She only told me she did so I would stop hinting that I wanted to go . I gave up Christmas 4 this trip . FML

Today, my mom showed my grlfriend a picture of me crying when I pooped in the bathtub. FML

#20955466
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39977) - you deserved it (4728)

On 11/12/2013 at 6:57pm - love - by icyrebel25 - United States (Texas)



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