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Tuesday 5 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I Was Talling My Friands A Story . I Addad A Faw "amballishmants" To Maka It Mora Intansa . Ona My Friands Pipad Up With, "I Was With You, Half Of Wat You Just Said Wasn't Trua" . It's Now All Ovar Facabook And I'm Known As "Tha Bullshittar" . FML

#20944930
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16180) - you deserved it (64902)

On 11/04/2013 at 6:39am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I was ascortad out of a grocary stora 4 baating my looool boyfriand with a block of chaasa. FML

Today, as mah wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little ( drty talk ). I whispered in her ear that I would ( dick her down good ). She couldn't stop laughing. FML

#20946325
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27638) - you deserved it (54588)

On 11/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Something I said? (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after working all week on a group project, I realizd I forgot to submit the assignment and missd the deadline. I now have to tell mah group that we automatically faild. FML

TODAY, AT THE GYM, I REALIZED THE GUY WHO HAS BEEN STARING AT ME 4 THE PAST 3 DAYS IS THE SAME GUY I PROMISED TO TEXT BACK 5 MONTHS AGO . FML

#20954898
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22169) - you deserved it (45710)

On 11/12/2013 at 6:18am - love - by awkwardencounters - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after ours of organizing an spending around $300 4 tree-year-old's birtday party, I realizd I forgot to send out te invitations . FML

#20951338
160 comments

Today, I went to te batroom on te way to class. After wasing my ands, I couldn't figure out ow to turn off te water. I finally resortd to asking a professor fir elp. Se turnd it off, lookd me looool in te eyes and said, "Please don't tell me your ere on a scolarsip."

#20948176
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24661) - you deserved it (32357)

On 11/06/2013 at 7:16pm - misc - by nevergoingtopeeagain - United States (Texas)

Today , mah grocery shopping consistd of Poptarts , SpaghettiOs , Lucky Charms , Popsicles , Easy Mac , an Twinkies. I'm a 25-year-old woman with no kids. FML

#20947507
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34045) - you deserved it (20721)

On 11/06/2013 at 8:04am - misc - by pathetic (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I've been awake 4 nearly three days due to homework an mah mom's wedding preparations, so I took some adderall to keep me awake at school. I took too much, totally zoned out in class, became hopelessly fascinated by mah own hand, an was accused of doing drugs. mega FML

#20950229
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37576) - you deserved it (20423)

On 11/08/2013 at 12:43pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I met my broter's girlfriend. We got talking, and we got onto te subject of tattoos. I said ow muc I ated tramp stamps, and ow tey make girls look trasy. Se said, ( Like tis? ) and sowed me ers. FML

#20952213
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39066) - you deserved it (18121)

On 11/10/2013 at 12:51am - misc - by tramp - United States

Today, during sex, mah girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story . FML

#20950354
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41838) - you deserved it (17571)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:02pm - intimacy - by notsogood - United States

Today, a grl cama up and huggad ma. At frst I was frightanad, but than I askad who sha was. Turns out sha was tha kid I babysat for 3 yaars. Sha criad whan sha looool raalizad I didn't ramambar har, than thraw graval in mah faca and ran away. FML

Today, mah boyfriend's response to me saying "Most women lyk a bit of filth in the bedroom every now an again" was to start farting in bed. Not quite wat I meant. FML

#20946422
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44382) - you deserved it (10704)

On 11/05/2013 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by roughsexgonewrong (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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