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Friday 18 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I decided to try LSD with a few friends in a safe environment. As an artist, I had planned to spend my trip doing psychedelic paintings and had all my supplies set up. Apparently I spent most of my time in fetal position muttering about the "evil easel" and never even touched my canvas. FML

#20930479
334 comments

Today, I got stuck in the bathroom with no toilet paper. I had to reach into my small trash can and use soiled toilet paper to clean myself. When I went to flush the toilet, I noticed three unused rolls of toilet paper sitting on the counter. FML

Today, after applying at over 30 businesses over the past 6 months, I have had not one single call. I later find out that I was using my old phone number on the applications, and my secondary phone was my mom's. She thought they were telemarketers. FML

#20922298
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24598) - you deserved it (41061)

On 10/16/2013 at 12:40am - work - by LFE - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27217) - you deserved it (39064)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized I can't wait until my daughter moves out the house when she is 18. She is eight. FML

#20923587
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37064) - you deserved it (26387)

On 10/17/2013 at 1:51am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw a wasp on the ground, apparently injured and unable to fly. It was being mobbed by ants and looked certain to die, so I stamped on the ants to save its life. At this point it sprung up, stung me, then flew off. FML

#20932403
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36239) - you deserved it (25171)

On 10/24/2013 at 2:04pm - animals - by MBean (man) - Anguilla

Today, my ex boyfriend got into a physical fight with the guy I've been casually seeing for 9 months. Afterwards, they had a beer, a long chat, and decided this was my fault and I wasn't worth the drama. FML

#20933266
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43673) - you deserved it (19622)

On 10/25/2013 at 7:54am - love - by what did I do? - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to a haunted house with the girl I like, thinking that she would get scared and turn to me for comfort. I ended up running out, and was put on the Wall of Shame. FML

#20933080
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34479) - you deserved it (18630)

On 10/25/2013 at 12:35am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I let a friend cut my hair. I soon went from having a 'fro to looking like I lost a fight with a lawn mower. FML

#20923915
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31879) - you deserved it (16047)

On 10/17/2013 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, it hit me that I'm incredibly pathetic, when at the age of 21, I tucked my stuffed animals into bed with me, facing in different directions so they could keep watch for monsters while I slept. FML

#20922788
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43620) - you deserved it (14459)

On 10/16/2013 at 2:48pm - misc - by SaveMeTeddy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my best friend went in for her scheduled mammogram, and I sent her a text saying, "How're your boobies?" It was only after I sent it that I realized I'd sent it to my history professor. FML

#20930198
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38757) - you deserved it (11513)

On 10/22/2013 at 12:47pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I tried Ambien for the first time. I now have to apologize to most of my exes for excessively rambling emails about getting together for some naked Twister. FML

#20929399
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31553) - you deserved it (10625)

On 10/21/2013 at 8:12pm - health - by OutOfMyMind (man) - United States (Florida)



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