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Thursday 17 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boss gave me a verbal warning. My crime? Calling people "hon", "darlin'", and the like. I work at a Texas diner. FML

#20924228
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40291) - you deserved it (4950)

On 10/17/2013 at 5:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after months of exercise and diets and finally reaching my ideal weight, I told my morbidly obese cousin about my success, hoping to motivate him to do the same. He replied, "Why would it matter, you're still ugly." FML

#20921493
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44179) - you deserved it (4937)

On 10/15/2013 at 1:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I slept over at my friend's house. Her dad made breakfast for us. While fixing a plate, my friend said, "Careful, my dad clips his nails in the kitchen." She said it with a sarcastic, joking tone, and laughed afterwards. While eating, I found a toenail in my food. Her response? "I told you." FML

#20926236
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44455) - you deserved it (4902)

On 10/19/2013 at 11:04am - misc - by sleepysophie (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I had an anxiety attack just from thinking about appearing on TV and being watched by a real audience. FML

#20925533
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30913) - you deserved it (4899)

On 10/18/2013 at 7:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had to take my boyfriend to the emergency room to get stitches from cutting his arm during sex. I sat there while he explained to the doctor how it was the best orgasm ever. FML

#20924645
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40305) - you deserved it (4831)

On 10/17/2013 at 11:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, a few of my friends arranged for us to go skinny-dipping with the guy I really like. It went really well, until a turd surfaced before our eyes. After we scrambled out of the pool in panic, my crush called us all freaks and left. FML

#20927673
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37702) - you deserved it (4776)

On 10/20/2013 at 3:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I like. We climbed a tree to watch the sunset, and as the sun went down, I kissed him. He fell out of the tree. FML

#20920034
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45179) - you deserved it (4771)

On 10/14/2013 at 12:02pm - love - by lovehurts - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that when my boyfriend jokingly talks about his other girlfriend, he isn't actually joking. FML

#20928840
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47808) - you deserved it (4655)

On 10/21/2013 at 12:42pm - love - by other woman - United States (California)

Today, we had to give a surprise speech in speech class on two of our best and closest friends. My first friend was my mom. I had to make up the other one. FML

#20926629
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41343) - you deserved it (4635)

On 10/19/2013 at 5:57pm - misc - by nofriends - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that I have the bad habit of not doing the dishes before he has his daily piss in the sink. FML

#20923758
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42706) - you deserved it (4622)

On 10/17/2013 at 7:51am - misc - by Michelle (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43551) - you deserved it (4600)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, I replaced a usually fun collegue's picture of his kids with a picture of my face against glass, so it looked I was inside the screen. Everyone laughed, but he reported me because I tried to "erase his children" and "if anything happens to them" it's now my fault. FML

#20922441
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38367) - you deserved it (4511)

On 10/16/2013 at 4:22am - work - by Elcam (man) - Belgium

Today, I read an article about the top 10 worst jobs this year. This list includes my degree and three of my main skills and interests. FML

#20921448
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40424) - you deserved it (4498)

On 10/15/2013 at 11:51am - work - by collegegrad (man) - United States (New York)



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