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Friday 11 October 2013

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Today, I got dumped because a guy sat next to me at a party and I didn't get up to change seats. Apparently, it means I subconsciously like the guy who sat down. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2013 at 8:33pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love

Today, we had a safety meeting at my warehouse job. They had an entire power point based around their message, "Stop getting hurt; it costs the company too much money." FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 10:29am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for knowing more about Batman than he does. He's only seen some of the movies, and as a kid my dad owned a comic book store. He still doesn't see why I should know more, because I'm a girl, and "girls aren't supposed to know about super heroes." FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2013 at 5:48pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I convinced my father that "Juanito", our relative who needed money for immediate surgery in Mexico was a stranger attempting to scam him. I was $1400 too late. FML

by . / 10/16/2013 at 5:05pm / United States / Money

Today, I was playing soccer when a player kicked the ball at my crotch. In pain, I kneeled down. The referee came up to me and whispered, "The smaller they are, the more it hurts." FML

by Agax / 10/07/2013 at 8:21pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to catch a train to get to my new job. I was stopped and told that I needed a pre-purchased ticket to enter the platform. The only way to get the ticket, they said, was by buying one on the platform. I arrived by taxi nearly an hour late for my first day. FML

by sharkiewarkiemoosey / 10/11/2013 at 2:22pm / Switzerland (Ausser-Rhoden) / Work

Today, as I worked as a cashier, two girls came up laughing. I smiled as I rang them up, asking what had made them laugh so hard. One looked me dead in the face and said, "You." They then both walked away, laughing. FML

by amy / 10/16/2013 at 5:52pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I got dragged to dinner with my grandparents. It was awful from the start, but things took a turn for the worse when my grandpa went to give me a kiss on the cheek as we left. I could clearly see lice crawling around in his beard, and I couldn't stop it from touching my face. FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2013 at 12:17pm / United Kingdom (South Lanarkshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally decided to stand up for myself and quit my crappy job working for my abusive father. I gave him a few insults too, to which he reacted by calling the police and claiming I'd threatened to murder him. I spent three hours in jail before they finally let me go. FML

by Anonymous / 10/11/2013 at 12:43pm / United States (Utah) / Work

Today, after paying back the money my grandma lent me to fix my car, I stepped outside, only to see my car leaking antifreeze all over the driveway. I had to ask for the money back to fix it again. FML

by broke_broken / 10/11/2013 at 6:53pm / United States (Utah) / Money

Today, I spent an excruciating hour walking to campus with a broken leg, only to find my professor had left a note on the door saying class was canceled. FML

by LegInPieces / 10/17/2013 at 12:34pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, my fiancée told me she can't marry me. Our wedding day is tomorrow and around 20 of our 180 guests attending have travelled half way around the world just for the occasion. FML

by IDon't / 10/13/2013 at 6:49am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I passed my math test with flying colors. My dad thought I had cheated, so he emailed the school and told them that I had. They lowered my grade. FML

by mathgenius / 10/08/2013 at 3:17pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous