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Friday 11 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after holing myself up in my room for the day, I eventually turned my phone back on and told my girlfriend that my grandma passed away today. She replied, "Ask me if I fucking care," then accused me of not caring about our relationship because I went offline all day. FML

#20918838
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50841) - you deserved it (4712)

On 10/13/2013 at 12:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my parents dropped by my new house, and my mother offered to tidy up for me while I was out. After they left, I noticed that her "tidying up" included throwing out all the pictures of my girlfriend and replacing them with pictures of herself. FML

#20921711
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49756) - you deserved it (4689)

On 10/15/2013 at 4:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I found out that my phone fits perfectly through the slot between the elevator and the floor. FML

#20921212
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49954) - you deserved it (4646)

On 10/15/2013 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I decided to start a new and healthy diet. When I came home from my run this morning, my family decided to show their support by buying takeaway food. FML

#20920168
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37899) - you deserved it (4596)

On 10/14/2013 at 2:19pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating because according to him, our child does not have his hair color, eye color, or other facial features. Our son is five days old, bald and hasn't opened his eyes much. The closest thing I can probably compare him to is an old, wrinkly potato. FML

#20912171
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57821) - you deserved it (4595)

On 10/08/2013 at 5:55am - kids - by thisguy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a first date. He left me standing at a bus stop while he took a dump in some bushes. FML

#20922179
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50801) - you deserved it (4591)

On 10/15/2013 at 11:10pm - love - by highlydisgusted - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in calculus, our substitute teacher told me I was smart. Everybody in the class, including my friends, burst out laughing. FML

#20923824
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45167) - you deserved it (4557)

On 10/17/2013 at 9:43am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I figured out my 1-year-old daughter likes to dip her hand in our dogs' water bowl, and rub the water on her face. So I put the water bowl out of reach. She then figured out how to open the bathroom door and use the toilet instead. FML

#20918462
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42650) - you deserved it (4364)

On 10/13/2013 at 1:51am - misc - by Water Daughter - United States

Today, I discovered my 10 month old is terrified of my laugh. Every time I start to laugh, she screams in terror. It's getting depressing. FML

#20917208
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48128) - you deserved it (4280)

On 10/12/2013 at 1:40am - kids - by easily amused (woman) - United States

Today, my friend texted me from a bar, saying they had just called my name in a raffle to win a trip to Aspen, CO. You had to be at the bar to claim the prize. I had left the bar half-an-hour earlier, not knowing they were even having a raffle. FML

#20920627
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43852) - you deserved it (4269)

On 10/14/2013 at 8:14pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I called my dad to let him know some details for my wedding had changed. It would have been really nice if he had paused the porno I could clearly hear in the background. FML

#20921288
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50646) - you deserved it (4223)

On 10/15/2013 at 6:10am - intimacy - by hes (woman) - United States

Today, some ass-bandit broke into my house by smashing a window, just so he could steal the ancient VHS cassette player that my wife wouldn't let me throw away. Thanks, scumbag, but the front door was unlocked. FML

#20919168
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47508) - you deserved it (4176)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:50pm - money - by and she blames me -_- (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity fixed for the first time. The dentist showed me the drill and other tools, and referred to them as things like "Mr. Bumpy Brush". I'm 15. She thought I was "special". FML

#20923550
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45797) - you deserved it (4121)

On 10/17/2013 at 1:06am - health - by maxkeyftw (man) - United States (California)



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