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Friday 11 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I took my car to be repaired. The mechanic put out his hand when he saw me, so I shook it. He just wanted my keys. FML

#20914766
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31428) - you deserved it (5209)

On 10/10/2013 at 1:22am - misc - by keyshame - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boss gave me a verbal warning. My crime? Calling people "hon", "darlin'", and the like. I work at a Texas diner. FML

#20924228
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40273) - you deserved it (4950)

On 10/17/2013 at 5:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after months of exercise and diets and finally reaching my ideal weight, I told my morbidly obese cousin about my success, hoping to motivate him to do the same. He replied, "Why would it matter, you're still ugly." FML

#20921493
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44175) - you deserved it (4935)

On 10/15/2013 at 1:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had an anxiety attack just from thinking about appearing on TV and being watched by a real audience. FML

#20925533
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30903) - you deserved it (4898)

On 10/18/2013 at 7:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had to take my boyfriend to the emergency room to get stitches from cutting his arm during sex. I sat there while he explained to the doctor how it was the best orgasm ever. FML

#20924645
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40277) - you deserved it (4829)

On 10/17/2013 at 11:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I asked my friend to crop me out of her profile picture on Facebook because I look terrible in it. She responded that she wasn't going to, because it made her look better. FML

#20913413
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38817) - you deserved it (4818)

On 10/09/2013 at 1:21am - misc - by Anon - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my wife's pregnancy hormones got so bad that she freaked out and threw a tantrum, accusing me of always making important decisions for her. All I did was get her some food from Taco Bell as a surprise. FML

#20912485
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51978) - you deserved it (4780)

On 10/08/2013 at 1:57pm - intimacy - by hubby - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I like. We climbed a tree to watch the sunset, and as the sun went down, I kissed him. He fell out of the tree. FML

#20920034
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45173) - you deserved it (4770)

On 10/14/2013 at 12:02pm - love - by lovehurts - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went home after work with my best friend who I am also secretly in love with. We had a few drinks, were getting touchy, and one thing led to another. Before leaving, I got the courage to ask her out on a real date. Her only reply was, "I don't want to lose such a good friend." FML

Today, being so desperate for money, I accepted a job in which I get shot at with paintballs for 6 hours. FML

#20911674
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39193) - you deserved it (4659)

On 10/07/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by BOHICA123 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend told me that I have the bad habit of not doing the dishes before he has his daily piss in the sink. FML

#20923758
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42696) - you deserved it (4622)

On 10/17/2013 at 7:51am - misc - by Michelle (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I replaced a usually fun collegue's picture of his kids with a picture of my face against glass, so it looked I was inside the screen. Everyone laughed, but he reported me because I tried to "erase his children" and "if anything happens to them" it's now my fault. FML

#20922441
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38362) - you deserved it (4508)

On 10/16/2013 at 4:22am - work - by Elcam (man) - Belgium

Today, I read an article about the top 10 worst jobs this year. This list includes my degree and three of my main skills and interests. FML

#20921448
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40416) - you deserved it (4497)

On 10/15/2013 at 11:51am - work - by collegegrad (man) - United States (New York)



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