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Friday 11 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I took my car to be repaired. The mechanic put out his hand when he saw me, so I shook it. He just wanted my keys. FML

#20914766
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33833) - you deserved it (5832)

On 10/10/2013 at 1:22am - misc - by keyshame - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, trying to be romantic, I started coming on to my wife while in bed, only for her to yet again say she wasn't in the mood. When I asked why she never is lately, she sarcastically blamed it on the government shutdown, then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

#20916670
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51689) - you deserved it (5625)

On 10/11/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by (-__- ) ( ^.^) (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got my two-year-old's Halloween costume in the mail. I tried it on him to make sure it fit. He loves it so much that he is now having a complete meltdown because he wants to go trick-or-treating. He doesn't understand we only go trick-or-treating on Halloween. 23 more days to go. FML

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I like. We climbed a tree to watch the sunset, and as the sun went down, I kissed him. He fell out of the tree. FML

#20920034
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48394) - you deserved it (5517)

On 10/14/2013 at 12:02pm - love - by lovehurts - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had an anxiety attack just from thinking about appearing on TV and being watched by a real audience. FML

#20925533
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33043) - you deserved it (5502)

On 10/18/2013 at 7:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boss gave me a verbal warning. My crime? Calling people "hon", "darlin'", and the like. I work at a Texas diner. FML

#20924228
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42673) - you deserved it (5267)

On 10/17/2013 at 5:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after months of exercise and diets and finally reaching my ideal weight, I told my morbidly obese cousin about my success, hoping to motivate him to do the same. He replied, "Why would it matter, you're still ugly." FML

#20921493
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45965) - you deserved it (5185)

On 10/15/2013 at 1:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me that I have the bad habit of not doing the dishes before he has his daily piss in the sink. FML

#20923758
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45523) - you deserved it (5149)

On 10/17/2013 at 7:51am - misc - by Michelle (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my wife's pregnancy hormones got so bad that she freaked out and threw a tantrum, accusing me of always making important decisions for her. All I did was get her some food from Taco Bell as a surprise. FML

#20912485
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54609) - you deserved it (5091)

On 10/08/2013 at 1:57pm - intimacy - by hubby - United States

Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML

#20925494
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53551) - you deserved it (5074)

On 10/18/2013 at 7:01pm - love - by O-|---<=~ (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I replaced a usually fun collegue's picture of his kids with a picture of my face against glass, so it looked I was inside the screen. Everyone laughed, but he reported me because I tried to "erase his children" and "if anything happens to them" it's now my fault. FML

#20922441
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41009) - you deserved it (5045)

On 10/16/2013 at 4:22am - work - by Elcam (man) - Belgium

Today, I read an article about the top 10 worst jobs this year. This list includes my degree and three of my main skills and interests. FML

#20921448
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42813) - you deserved it (5021)

On 10/15/2013 at 11:51am - work - by collegegrad (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my friend to crop me out of her profile picture on Facebook because I look terrible in it. She responded that she wasn't going to, because it made her look better. FML

#20913413
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39898) - you deserved it (4952)

On 10/09/2013 at 1:21am - misc - by Anon - New Zealand (Auckland)



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