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Friday 4 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got kicked out of English class shortly after our teacher told us we have to write an essay on how the storyline of Harry Potter is one big allegory for "the futility of socialism." Apparently, reacting with disbelief makes me a "disruptive influence." FML

#20905920
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33960) - you deserved it (3488)

On 10/03/2013 at 12:42pm - misc - by WTF? (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML

#20909568
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45056) - you deserved it (3471)

On 10/06/2013 at 1:13pm - misc - by D: (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, someone stole my card number and tried to use it. Every transaction got declined, not because the bank knew it was a fraudulent charge, but because I'm so poor that he couldn't make even a single purchase. FML

Today, after paying back the money my grandma lent me to fix my car, I stepped outside, only to see my car leaking antifreeze all over the driveway. I had to ask for the money back to fix it again. FML

#20916786
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40205) - you deserved it (3437)

On 10/11/2013 at 6:53pm - money - by broke_broken - United States (Utah)

Today, my brother finally paid me the $60 he owed me. I later found out that he'd stolen those $60 from my wallet. FML

#20906200
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43585) - you deserved it (3434)

On 10/03/2013 at 5:40pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally decided to stand up for myself and quit my crappy job working for my abusive father. I gave him a few insults too, to which he reacted by calling the police and claiming I'd threatened to murder him. I spent three hours in jail before they finally let me go. FML

#20916390
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39250) - you deserved it (3405)

On 10/11/2013 at 12:43pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I discovered that I have caught head lice from my son. Unfortunately, they are living in my chest hair. FML

#20902262
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35412) - you deserved it (3384)

On 09/30/2013 at 5:59pm - health - by hairy (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

#20909921
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57069) - you deserved it (3374)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got paired up with a coworker for a three-month project. All he talks about is how attractive my girlfriend is and what he would do with her. FML

#20901560
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44493) - you deserved it (3369)

On 09/30/2013 at 2:02am - work - by 3 More Months (man) - United States (California)

Today, my new deodorant caused an allergic reaction, covering my armpits in a painful rash. I've had to awkwardly waddle around all day with my arms splayed outwards to get any relief. One customer at work sarcastically mentioned that it's nice that they're hiring penguins these days. FML

#20909610
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39357) - you deserved it (3328)

On 10/06/2013 at 1:40pm - health - by _/ | \_ (woman) - Singapore

Today, at the age of 23, I brought my boyfriend over to meet my parents. My father swabbed his mouth for DNA and fingerprinted him. FML

Today, my dad got me a GPS for my birthday. I appreciate the sentiment, but I don't have a permit or a car. FML

#20910835
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38816) - you deserved it (3287)

On 10/07/2013 at 11:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I passed my math test with flying colors. My dad thought I had cheated, so he emailed the school and told them that I had. They lowered my grade. FML

#20912578
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57448) - you deserved it (3286)

On 10/08/2013 at 3:17pm - misc - by mathgenius - Norway (Hordaland)



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