Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Friday 4 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mother came over to my apartment for a surprise visit. It wasn't until after she left that I realized that I left a half empty bottle of adult toy cleaner on the counter in the bathroom. FML

Today, my sex-crazed ex wrote me a letter so bad, it haunts me that I let a guy with such terrible grammar skills touch my boobs. FML

#20903082
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37870) - you deserved it (9365)

On 10/01/2013 at 6:47am - intimacy - by whatdoesitmatter (woman) - India (Tamil Nadu)

Today, feeling bored and lonely, I drove into town to wander around the shops and go to Subway for lunch. While there, I picked up two trays and put one on the opposite side of the table, along with some of my rubbish, to make it look like I was with someone. FML

#20916326
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31161) - you deserved it (8754)

On 10/11/2013 at 11:18am - misc - by FriutlessApple (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my mom blew her top when I casually mentioned that it's pretty well known that the story of Jesus is a retelling of older Persian and Egyptian stories. She then went on to yell at me that I wasted my money on college and "book learning". FML

#20903762
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29528) - you deserved it (8623)

On 10/01/2013 at 7:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got so self-conscious about weight gain that I got paranoid about how much my Castle Crashers character was eating to heal. FML

Today, I got a ticket for speeding in a school zone. The school hasn't even been built yet. FML

#20905615
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46205) - you deserved it (8113)

On 10/03/2013 at 2:23am - money - by joecool3426 (man) - United States

Today, my parents surprised me by redecorating my room. I think they were more surprised by the box of naughty toys under my bed. FML

#20902324
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35037) - you deserved it (8104)

On 09/30/2013 at 6:41pm - intimacy - by A.Summers (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML

#20901686
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37063) - you deserved it (7826)

On 09/30/2013 at 6:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML

#20908563
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39799) - you deserved it (7287)

On 10/05/2013 at 4:23pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my boyfriend blew me off yet again because he claims he has a responsibility as a "crew leader" to train and recruit members at all times, to accommodate all time zones. GTA V is ruining our relationship. FML

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

#20901889
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40953) - you deserved it (7021)

On 09/30/2013 at 12:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I got my daughter's school pictures. Instead of smiling, she did the duck face. She's 6. FML

#20912722
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43120) - you deserved it (6979)

On 10/08/2013 at 5:16pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

#20910543
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40810) - you deserved it (6796)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: