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Friday 4 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML

#20906275
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30024) - you deserved it (25820)

On 10/03/2013 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Kyra.45 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up, got dressed, and left for the 1 hour drive to the nearest vet. When I arrived, I realized that I left my cat in its carrier on my kitchen counter. FML

#20908268
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36693) - you deserved it (21911)

On 10/05/2013 at 12:00pm - animals - by wasted_gas - United States (Georgia)

Today, my "friend" came over. I caught him trying to steal my iPod on the way out. Proud of myself for catching him, I asked him to leave, only to realize that I had forgotten to actually take the iPod back from him before he left. FML

#20914586
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36775) - you deserved it (20985)

On 10/09/2013 at 11:03pm - money - by oneiPodlighter (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I yet again had to pretend to be a dumb bimbo so that my boyfriend wouldn't get upset over the fact that, in some cases, I might be smarter than him. FML

#20913509
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34810) - you deserved it (19688)

On 10/09/2013 at 3:51am - love - by yeah hun i think insects arent animals too (woman) - Germany (Sachsen)

Today, I have been home sick and depressed for so long that I just found Oreo crumbs in my belly button. FML

#20911052
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33314) - you deserved it (15082)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:55pm - health - by Sadness (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got into a fistfight with a complete idiot wearing a panda outfit. My face now looks like a real panda's. FML

#20916733
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28158) - you deserved it (14743)

On 10/11/2013 at 6:00pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML

#20915065
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44011) - you deserved it (14574)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:40am - intimacy - by DisgustinglyFrustrated - Argentina (Santa Fe)

Today, I purposely set my phone off in class to make it seem like I had friends. FML

#20903065
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37570) - you deserved it (14334)

On 10/01/2013 at 6:18am - misc - by :/ -

Today, my boyfriend won a diamond engagement ring through a citywide competition. Instead of proposing to me, he's selling it. FML

#20913492
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41761) - you deserved it (13717)

On 10/09/2013 at 3:03am - love - by arthise (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boss brought her cat to work. At one point, I looked up and everyone was staring at me staring at the cat's asshole. FML

#20915004
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29763) - you deserved it (12361)

On 10/10/2013 at 10:11am - animals - by failure (man) - Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I fell asleep while my boyfriend and I were having sex. What's worse is that he didn't even notice. FML

#20910165
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44884) - you deserved it (11592)

On 10/06/2013 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Sleepy head - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me a selfish bitch and dumped me after I told him I'm planning on getting much-needed breast reduction surgery. FML

#20903440
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51770) - you deserved it (11286)

On 10/01/2013 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Ggirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friends and I spent a little too long enjoying a beautiful cliff overlooking the ocean. We spent the next 3 hours lost in a pitch black jungle with only one pocket-sized flashlight. FML

#20901708
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33128) - you deserved it (11039)

On 09/30/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by sothisishowidie - Guam



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