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Friday 4 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I told my coworkers that I was going on a date tonight so they would think I have a social life. One of them spotted me while I was eating alone at McDonalds. FML

Today, I woke up, got dressed, and left for the 1 hour drive to the nearest vet. When I arrived, I realized that I left my cat in its carrier on my kitchen counter. FML

#20908268
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39499) - you deserved it (23980)

On 10/05/2013 at 12:00pm - animals - by wasted_gas - United States (Georgia)

Today, my "friend" came over. I caught him trying to steal my iPod on the way out. Proud of myself for catching him, I asked him to leave, only to realize that I had forgotten to actually take the iPod back from him before he left. FML

#20914586
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38008) - you deserved it (21753)

On 10/09/2013 at 11:03pm - money - by oneiPodlighter (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I yet again had to pretend to be a dumb bimbo so that my boyfriend wouldn't get upset over the fact that, in some cases, I might be smarter than him. FML

#20913509
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36941) - you deserved it (20874)

On 10/09/2013 at 3:51am - love - by yeah hun i think insects arent animals too (woman) - Germany (Sachsen)

Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML

#20915065
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48157) - you deserved it (16224)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:40am - intimacy - by DisgustinglyFrustrated - Argentina (Santa Fe)

Today, I got into a fistfight with a complete idiot wearing a panda outfit. My face now looks like a real panda's. FML

#20916733
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30205) - you deserved it (15988)

On 10/11/2013 at 6:00pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I have been home sick and depressed for so long that I just found Oreo crumbs in my belly button. FML

#20911052
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34521) - you deserved it (15692)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:55pm - health - by Sadness (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I purposely set my phone off in class to make it seem like I had friends. FML

#20903065
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39782) - you deserved it (15384)

On 10/01/2013 at 6:18am - misc - by :/ -

Today, my boyfriend won a diamond engagement ring through a citywide competition. Instead of proposing to me, he's selling it. FML

#20913492
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44960) - you deserved it (15222)

On 10/09/2013 at 3:03am - love - by arthise (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boss brought her cat to work. At one point, I looked up and everyone was staring at me staring at the cat's asshole. FML

#20915004
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32836) - you deserved it (14208)

On 10/10/2013 at 10:11am - animals - by failure (man) - Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, my boyfriend called me a selfish bitch and dumped me after I told him I'm planning on getting much-needed breast reduction surgery. FML

#20903440
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57312) - you deserved it (13952)

On 10/01/2013 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Ggirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother came over to my apartment for a surprise visit. It wasn't until after she left that I realized that I left a half empty bottle of adult toy cleaner on the counter in the bathroom. FML

Today, I fell asleep while my boyfriend and I were having sex. What's worse is that he didn't even notice. FML

#20910165
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49505) - you deserved it (13292)

On 10/06/2013 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Sleepy head - United States



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