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Friday 4 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML

#20904456
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16533) - you deserved it (109470)

On 10/02/2013 at 8:43am - love - by Lilly (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the doctor's for an ultrasound, as I'm 7 months pregnant. Then he went home and took his wife out to dinner for her birthday. FML

#20911051
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31100) - you deserved it (87894)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:54pm - love - by Cereal_mistress (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally texted a picture of my cock to my dad. FML

#20907559
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25734) - you deserved it (77923)

On 10/04/2013 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working behind the bar at a club. After serving drinks to a guy, he asked me if I could carry them outside to the two girls waiting for him. I scowled at him and told him I wasn't a waitress. That's when I realised he had one arm. FML

#20910594
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22032) - you deserved it (51608)

On 10/07/2013 at 3:37am - work - by bitch (woman) - Australia

Today, my bully made me cry once again. It's been going on for weeks. I don't know who to turn to; I can't say anything because I'd get into even more trouble. He even stole my Nintendo 3DS and won't give it back. My bully is my girlfriend's son. He's 10. FML

#20904358
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29959) - you deserved it (49735)

On 10/02/2013 at 4:12am - kids - by PickedOnByDamien (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML

#20907982
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21258) - you deserved it (47792)

On 10/05/2013 at 2:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked into a really fancy hotel bathroom. I spoke to the attendant and gave her my purse and coat while I used the toilet. When I came out, she was gone. The receptionist informed me they didn't have a bathroom attendant. FML

#20905582
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24101) - you deserved it (47213)

On 10/03/2013 at 1:41am - money - by wellcrap - United States (Texas)

Today, my body-building addiction hit a whole new level when I begged my friend to sell me her breast milk. FML

Today, I smelled chicken nuggets and asked my boyfriend if he was making some. He wasn't. It was my armpits. FML

#20902037
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21731) - you deserved it (38784)

On 09/30/2013 at 3:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML

#20907372
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19578) - you deserved it (38648)

On 10/04/2013 at 4:25pm - misc - by vcarder (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was grocery shopping. When I got to the frozen foods, I saw some lean pockets, which I haven't had in forever, so I bought a couple of boxes. Around lunch time, I was hungry and thought I could have some, until I realized why I stopped buying them: I don't have a microwave. FML

#20908021
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21615) - you deserved it (36578)

On 10/05/2013 at 4:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend was rubbing my leg. He started laughing and said, "Babe, is this your leg, or am I petting Daisy?" Daisy is my dog. I need to shave. FML

#20910814
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26367) - you deserved it (36103)

On 10/07/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by loserllamalick (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML

#20906275
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34933) - you deserved it (29521)

On 10/03/2013 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Kyra.45 (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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