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Saturday 28 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my niece, who is fifteen, convinced my six-year-old daughter that her name is spelled C-U-N-T, and just pronounced as Catherine. FML

#20893921
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42898) - you deserved it (3322)

On 09/24/2013 at 12:47am - kids - by cuntsmom (woman) - United States

Today, my mum dismissed my diagnosed schizophrenia as "too much time with those earphones in". FML

#20897726
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42071) - you deserved it (3318)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:56am - health - by awkwardology - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while I was working, someone came in and attempted to purchase GTA 5 with a medical marijuana card. FML

#20892589
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41431) - you deserved it (3316)

On 09/23/2013 at 2:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I moved into a new house, I couldn't help but notice a car alarm going off, so I investigated my neighbors. Turns out it's their bird. It imitates chainsaws, car alarms, and much more. FML

#20908147
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46014) - you deserved it (3315)

On 10/05/2013 at 9:51am - animals - by Mike Messenger - United States (Florida)

Today, the creepy kid on the bus saved me a seat again. Thinking he wanted to be friends, I followed him on twitter. He was doing a live video feed so I checked it out. It was of me. FML

Today, I took my girlfriend out to eat at a diner where my friend works. My friend was our waiter but too busy to talk much. He texted me after we'd left to tell me that my girlfriend had slipped him her number. FML

#20894038
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52952) - you deserved it (3272)

On 09/24/2013 at 3:15am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that an antidepressant that works too well is a stimulant. I've been jittering and twitching like a meth-head, and my co-workers are asking when Jesse will be showing up with my "stuff". FML

#20896646
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38465) - you deserved it (3268)

On 09/26/2013 at 9:50am - health - by CancerFdMyLife (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my son's lemonade stand was robbed by a senior citizen. FML

#20908703
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50657) - you deserved it (3246)

On 10/05/2013 at 6:25pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my teacher was talking about anorexia and bulimia. Midway through the lesson, she stopped and knowingly asked if I wanted to share my experiences with the class. I don't have an eating disorder, just a screwed-up metabolism. FML

#20904715
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54346) - you deserved it (3245)

On 10/02/2013 at 2:37pm - health - by 94lbs of muscle -

Today, I was on the bus, heading to work, when the girl beside me started yelling at me, claiming I was staring down her shirt. I did no such thing, but the driver nonetheless stopped the bus and made me get off, all under the withering glares of the other passengers. FML

#20907593
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44678) - you deserved it (3240)

On 10/04/2013 at 8:04pm - misc - by ricky the sage (man) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I realized that my grandma has pictures of all her grandchildren all over her house, with one glaring exception: me. FML

Today, I was cleaning up litter from the street, when a guy asked who I work for. I said nobody and that I was just doing some community service. Before I could clarify that it was voluntary community service, he called me a "piece of shit delinquent", spat on me, and walked off. FML

#20898099
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43220) - you deserved it (3198)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:01pm - misc - by sigh (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to explain to my brother why it's not OK to stick his knob in the toaster. FML

#20893446
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41655) - you deserved it (3196)

On 09/23/2013 at 8:05pm - kids - by latter - United States (Maryland)



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