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Saturday 28 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I sent a student to the dean for trying to smoke pot in my class. His mother called to complain that I publicly humiliated her son. FML

Today, I realized that my grandma has pictures of all her grandchildren all over her house, with one glaring exception: me. FML

Today, a friend complimented me on my "smoky eyeshadow". I wasn't wearing eye makeup. She was complimenting the result of my insomnia. FML

#20904600
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41222) - you deserved it (3108)

On 10/02/2013 at 12:22pm - health - by Tired (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I went to work at my job as a secretary. I had been given the task to file my boss's collection of Playboy magazines alphabetically by name of the centerfold. There was one for every month from the years of 1980 until now. FML

#20895973
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35790) - you deserved it (3107)

On 09/25/2013 at 7:22pm - work - by Abcporn (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to explain to my brother why it's not OK to stick his knob in the toaster. FML

#20893446
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40495) - you deserved it (3105)

On 09/23/2013 at 8:05pm - kids - by latter - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mum dismissed my diagnosed schizophrenia as "too much time with those earphones in". FML

#20897726
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39140) - you deserved it (3085)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:56am - health - by awkwardology - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after being stood up at a diner, I called the girl who was supposed to have met me. Turns out, she thought I was kidding when I asked her out. FML

#20893951
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44053) - you deserved it (3080)

On 09/24/2013 at 1:16am - love - by Anonymous -

Today, my mom started getting ready for the Rapture. FML

#20906662
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35333) - you deserved it (3073)

On 10/03/2013 at 11:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, the boy who loved me and left me literally became the poster boy for my college. His picture is on the home page of the college website and on a banner in the cafeteria where I eat every day. FML

#20893327
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40274) - you deserved it (3072)

On 09/23/2013 at 6:38pm - love - by justonce (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my niece, who is fifteen, convinced my six-year-old daughter that her name is spelled C-U-N-T, and just pronounced as Catherine. FML

#20893921
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39938) - you deserved it (3066)

On 09/24/2013 at 12:47am - kids - by cuntsmom (woman) - United States

Today, the creepy kid on the bus saved me a seat again. Thinking he wanted to be friends, I followed him on twitter. He was doing a live video feed so I checked it out. It was of me. FML

Today, while I was working, someone came in and attempted to purchase GTA 5 with a medical marijuana card. FML

#20892589
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38351) - you deserved it (3056)

On 09/23/2013 at 2:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was cleaning up litter from the street, when a guy asked who I work for. I said nobody and that I was just doing some community service. Before I could clarify that it was voluntary community service, he called me a "piece of shit delinquent", spat on me, and walked off. FML

#20898099
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41457) - you deserved it (3051)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:01pm - misc - by sigh (man) - United States (Maryland)



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