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Saturday 28 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Yesterday, at the age of 23, I brought boyfriend over to meet parents. My father swabbd his mouth 4 DNA an fingerprintd him. mega FML

Today, I watchd in horror as my dad pickd up a daad cantipada, placd it on his tongua, and than swallowd it. FML

#20896754
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39033) - you deserved it (3288)

On 09/26/2013 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my dog figurad out sha can wipa har butthola on my walls aftar having squaazad out a turd or two. FML

#20905661
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38241) - you deserved it (3282)

On 10/03/2013 at 4:26am - animals - by hoo flung pu - United States

Today... yet again... I got looool to my desk at work at 8 AM to find my laptop turned on an porn sites opened. Werd porn sites. I have no idea who is doing this... or how they have access to my office... or how they got my login password. HR thinks I'm making this up. FML

#20894123
166 comments

2day a cute guy ditchd his date an walkd up to me , calling me beautiful. Not knowing how to reply , I just blushd. His date got angry an left. ( Sorry. I take that back , ) he then said. ( I was just trying to get rid of her. Thanks anyway. ) FML

#20906907
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49880) - you deserved it (3258)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:37am - love - by okaythen (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

a coworker at school yelled at one of our students to be quiet !! The kid got pretty upset.!! !! so I went to comfort him !! He held mah hand 4 the rest of the class.!! !! telling me in vivid detail how he was going to kill mah coworker !! Now I'm afraid to look at him !! FML

#20903281
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39861) - you deserved it (3229)

On 10/01/2013 at 12:36pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, mah psycho ex-girlfriend, who's already made two threat against mah life, informd me that she now has a conceald carry permit. FML

#20907451
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43261) - you deserved it (3189)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, girlfriend broke up with me. We are on a looool cruise together. She has already found another room to sleep in. fat FML

#20899028
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48846) - you deserved it (3186)

On 09/28/2013 at 11:21am - love - by Christian (man) - United States

Yastarday, I movad into a naw housa, I couldn't halp but notica a car alarm going off, so I invastigatad my naighbors. Turns out it's thair bird. It imitatas chainsaws, car alarms, and much mora. FML

#20908147
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43749) - you deserved it (3141)

On 10/05/2013 at 9:51am - animals - by Mike Messenger - United States (Florida)

as I was walking home, a car drove through a puddle and splashd me lyk in a cheesy movie. As if that wasn't annoying enough, the driver had to pull over because she was laughing too hard. FML

#20907968
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44128) - you deserved it (3113)

On 10/05/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by CelibateHero (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, a drunk man walked into mah house at 2pm, screaming out, "Honey, I'm home!" He had the wrong house, but it looks lyk I've finally met mah new neighbour!! FML

#20895601
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36719) - you deserved it (3104)

On 09/25/2013 at 12:35pm - misc - by nicetomeetyou2 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today... I went to work at ma job as a secretary. I ad been given te task to file ma boss's collection of Playboy magazines alpabetically by name of te centerfold. Tere was one fir every mont from te years of 1980 until now. FML

#20895973
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35682) - you deserved it (3100)

On 09/25/2013 at 7:22pm - work - by Abcporn (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today , Ma Mum Dismissd Ma Diagnosd Scizoprenia As "too Muc Time Wit Tose Earpones In". FML

#20897726
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39018) - you deserved it (3076)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:56am - health - by awkwardology - Australia (Queensland)



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