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Saturday 28 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, someone stole my card number and tried to use it. Every transaction got declined, not because the bank knew it was a fraudulent charge, but because I'm so poor that he couldn't make even a single purchase. FML

Today, at work, I was taking a woman's measurements while she held her screaming baby. To silence the infant, she whipped out her breast right there and started feeding him. Moments later, he puked breast milk all over my desk. FML

#20905964
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42070) - you deserved it (3725)

On 10/03/2013 at 1:39pm - work - by blargh - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, I was told there was a bench warrant out for my arrest because a notice to appear for jury duty was sent to my old address and I never responded. I haven't lived at my old address for 2 years. FML

#20903036
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39343) - you deserved it (3656)

On 10/01/2013 at 4:34am - misc - by novapine (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I invited my new girlfriend over for the first time. My roommate thought it would be funny to go on a porn site on my computer and leave it up. She saw it, freaked out, slapped me, and left. FML

#20895735
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42293) - you deserved it (3646)

On 09/25/2013 at 3:23pm - love - by burb - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I discovered that I have caught head lice from my son. Unfortunately, they are living in my chest hair. FML

#20902262
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37961) - you deserved it (3613)

On 09/30/2013 at 5:59pm - health - by hairy (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, even though I don't necessarily believe in soul mates, I found out my wife does. She met hers a few weeks ago. FML

#20896483
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44820) - you deserved it (3602)

On 09/26/2013 at 2:54am - love - by NotTheSoulMate (man) - United States

Today, my brother finally paid me the $60 he owed me. I later found out that he'd stolen those $60 from my wallet. FML

#20906200
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45330) - you deserved it (3593)

On 10/03/2013 at 5:40pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at the age of 23, I brought my boyfriend over to meet my parents. My father swabbed his mouth for DNA and fingerprinted him. FML

Today, I realised I sweat so much that I won't be able to go without sticking super pads with wings to my shirt underarms everyday. It makes supermarket trips interesting. Especially as a man. FML

#20895380
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35817) - you deserved it (3542)

On 09/25/2013 at 6:37am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my best friend told me that she no longer wants to cut herself because now she's madly in love with a guy in our school. She doesn't know that he's gay. FML

#20893179
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52280) - you deserved it (3530)

On 09/23/2013 at 4:49pm - love - by friend loves a gay guy... - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was cutting a client's hair, and she was complaining about how itchy her head was from having it too long. As I lay down my comb and shears, three lice bugs ran across my counter. FML

Today, a cute guy ditched his date and walked up to me, calling me beautiful. Not knowing how to reply, I just blushed. His date got angry and left. "Sorry. I take that back," he then said. "I was just trying to get rid of her. Thanks anyway." FML

#20906907
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52554) - you deserved it (3490)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:37am - love - by okaythen (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, I got paired up with a coworker for a three-month project. All he talks about is how attractive my girlfriend is and what he would do with her. FML

#20901560
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46034) - you deserved it (3468)

On 09/30/2013 at 2:02am - work - by 3 More Months (man) - United States (California)



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