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Saturday 28 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my husband and I switched phones by accident. I've already received several naked pictures from one of his co-workers. FML

#20898640
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62078) - you deserved it (4179)

On 09/28/2013 at 12:08am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML

#20903010
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34383) - you deserved it (4155)

On 10/01/2013 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML

#20899091
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47844) - you deserved it (4148)

On 09/28/2013 at 12:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Serbia

Today, a stranger pulled me out of the path of a speeding taxicab. He then took one look at my face, said, "I should've left you there", and walked away. FML

#20900063
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43568) - you deserved it (4123)

On 09/29/2013 at 1:45am - misc - by -__-" - United States (Washington)

Today, I was working the night shift when a guy came in smelling like alcohol. He kept muttering his order, so I leaned over the register to hear him better. My ear now smells of vomit. FML

#20897734
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37968) - you deserved it (4074)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:18am - work - by ihatethisjob - United States (Michigan)

Today, I came home to find my parents wearing Santa hats and blasting Christmas music at full volume. So begins three months of hell. FML

#20898104
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39086) - you deserved it (4040)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I got married. The officiant of the ceremony referred to me as Amanda through my ceremony. My name is Anna. FML

#20904287
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45874) - you deserved it (4023)

On 10/02/2013 at 1:54am - love - by KamiyaHaine (woman) - Singapore

Today, I was reminded that while I have a nice waist, bum and boobs, I'm unspeakably ugly. I was walking down the street when a guy wolf-whistled from behind me, and when I turned around, he visibly recoiled in disgust. FML

#20908389
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48547) - you deserved it (3995)

On 10/05/2013 at 1:51pm - misc - by british_babe (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I got home to the smell of permanent marker and the discovery that my roommate's little sister had drawn flower petals around every polka dot she could reach on my walls. I just put up the wallpaper last weekend. FML

#20903388
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40170) - you deserved it (3836)

On 10/01/2013 at 2:43pm - kids - by HGTV (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML

#20908715
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45137) - you deserved it (3816)

On 10/05/2013 at 6:34pm - animals - by animal lover... -

Today, my boyfriend's dad said he'd given my boyfriend £100 to take me out for a meal last night and he hoped I'd enjoyed it. Last night my boyfriend and I went to pizza hut, shared a pizza and split the bill. Turns out my boyfriend had simply pocketed the money without telling anyone. FML

#20903132
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48304) - you deserved it (3813)

On 10/01/2013 at 8:32am - love - by hmmm (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I got kicked out of English class shortly after our teacher told us we have to write an essay on how the storyline of Harry Potter is one big allegory for "the futility of socialism." Apparently, reacting with disbelief makes me a "disruptive influence." FML

#20905920
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36460) - you deserved it (3743)

On 10/03/2013 at 12:42pm - misc - by WTF? (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, we got my dad an iPad for his birthday. I had to repeatedly reassure him that he could in fact touch the screen without being shocked. FML

#20899491
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38916) - you deserved it (3732)

On 09/28/2013 at 5:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Waikato)



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