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Saturday 28 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML

#20903010
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35533) - you deserved it (4288)

On 10/01/2013 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, the person I've been trying so hard to get with wrote me a beautiful poem that almost everyone at my school saw and liked. It was about how we'd never be together. FML

#20904440
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48498) - you deserved it (4269)

On 10/02/2013 at 8:17am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was working the night shift when a guy came in smelling like alcohol. He kept muttering his order, so I leaned over the register to hear him better. My ear now smells of vomit. FML

#20897734
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40150) - you deserved it (4266)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:18am - work - by ihatethisjob - United States (Michigan)

Today, I came home to find my parents wearing Santa hats and blasting Christmas music at full volume. So begins three months of hell. FML

#20898104
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41313) - you deserved it (4261)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my husband and I switched phones by accident. I've already received several naked pictures from one of his co-workers. FML

#20898640
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63497) - you deserved it (4261)

On 09/28/2013 at 12:08am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML

#20899091
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48745) - you deserved it (4213)

On 09/28/2013 at 12:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Serbia

Today, I was reminded that while I have a nice waist, bum and boobs, I'm unspeakably ugly. I was walking down the street when a guy wolf-whistled from behind me, and when I turned around, he visibly recoiled in disgust. FML

#20908389
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50162) - you deserved it (4137)

On 10/05/2013 at 1:51pm - misc - by british_babe (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I got married. The officiant of the ceremony referred to me as Amanda through my ceremony. My name is Anna. FML

#20904287
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46745) - you deserved it (4102)

On 10/02/2013 at 1:54am - love - by KamiyaHaine (woman) - Singapore

Today, I got home to the smell of permanent marker and the discovery that my roommate's little sister had drawn flower petals around every polka dot she could reach on my walls. I just put up the wallpaper last weekend. FML

#20903388
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41136) - you deserved it (3950)

On 10/01/2013 at 2:43pm - kids - by HGTV (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML

#20908715
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46186) - you deserved it (3901)

On 10/05/2013 at 6:34pm - animals - by animal lover... -

Today, my boyfriend's dad said he'd given my boyfriend £100 to take me out for a meal last night and he hoped I'd enjoyed it. Last night my boyfriend and I went to pizza hut, shared a pizza and split the bill. Turns out my boyfriend had simply pocketed the money without telling anyone. FML

#20903132
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49256) - you deserved it (3874)

On 10/01/2013 at 8:32am - love - by hmmm (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I was told there was a bench warrant out for my arrest because a notice to appear for jury duty was sent to my old address and I never responded. I haven't lived at my old address for 2 years. FML

#20903036
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41602) - you deserved it (3860)

On 10/01/2013 at 4:34am - misc - by novapine (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, at work, I was taking a woman's measurements while she held her screaming baby. To silence the infant, she whipped out her breast right there and started feeding him. Moments later, he puked breast milk all over my desk. FML

#20905964
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43290) - you deserved it (3845)

On 10/03/2013 at 1:39pm - work - by blargh - Russian Federation (Moscow City)



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