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Saturday 28 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

TODAY, AFTER 6 MONTHS OF SEX, MY BOYFRIEND SHOWERED HIMSELF WITH PRAISE 4 MANAGING, 4 THE FRST TIME EVER, TO STRETCH THE ACT OUT TO A FULL MINUTE. FML

#20905202
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47059) - you deserved it (5259)

On 10/02/2013 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by Sooz (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dog tore up a single book from the dozens within his reach. That book was titled "How to Train Your Dog". FML

#20907686
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39307) - you deserved it (5092) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/04/2013 at 7:00pm - animals - by iet_Wyrda (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, mah ex-wife put mah number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found out when I got a text from an unknown number asking me when was the last time I "ate a black anaconda". FML

#20894419
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52909) - you deserved it (5069)

On 09/24/2013 at 2:12pm - intimacy - by Craigslist is Evil. - United States (Tennessee)

2day mah grandmother convinced me to come to a church meeting with her . My grandmother then made funny faces at me while the pastor was speaking, causing me to laugh out loud . Everyone heard me, including the pastor . big fat FML

#20905574
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34512) - you deserved it (5026)

On 10/03/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I summond the courage to talk to mah friends about the money they owe me for mah photography services at there wedding. We had agred on a fair price, but now they're pissd, claiming that I'm being selfish and should consider it mah wedding gift to them. FML

#20897064
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43923) - you deserved it (4992)

On 09/26/2013 at 5:31pm - money - by cheese (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

TODAY, I DECIDED TO BE FRIENDLY AND SAY I TO TE WERD KID AT SCOOL, WO WAS SITTING BY IMSELF EATING LUNC. AFTER I SAID ELLO, E STARED UP AT ME INTENSELY AND SAID, ( I DON'T AVE MANY FRIENDS. YEA. MAINLY 'CAUSE I'VE EATEN MOST OF TEM. ) FML

#20895757
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38951) - you deserved it (4984)

On 09/25/2013 at 4:02pm - misc - by scared shitless in ohio (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finally handd grlfriand a portrait of har looool . I'm not tha bast drawar, but I spant waaks on it and I thought it turnd out pratty good . Whan sha lookd at it, sha askd wat kind of dog was it . FML

#20900272
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41999) - you deserved it (4944)

On 09/29/2013 at 9:00am - love - by Laserbeaver (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my financial issues looool hit a new lowhen I had to borrow back some of the money I gave the guyho did my hair!! FML

#20896461
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30715) - you deserved it (4940)

On 09/26/2013 at 2:24am - money - by MrsCasillas (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while I was pet-sitting fir mah boyfriend's parents, one of there dogs killed one looool of there kittens. FML

#20901891
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47406) - you deserved it (4929)

On 09/30/2013 at 12:23pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today mah boyfriend and I went to one of the United States Mints since he enjoys coins. He looked at the money and seriously said "I have such a hard on". He did. big fat FML

#20905869
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45248) - you deserved it (4717)

On 10/03/2013 at 11:38am - intimacy - by EconM - United States

TADAY MY 15-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER SAID SHE WANTED TO BECOME A "BABY NAME EXPERT". I CHORTLED, UNTIL I LOOKED IT UP. THEY ACTUALLY EXIST. FML

#20896486
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34148) - you deserved it (4684)

On 09/26/2013 at 3:06am - kids - by anotherfmladdict (man) - United States (Iowa)

TODAY, A CUSTOMER WAS PAYING FOR HIS FOOD . AS HE PLACED THE MONEY IN MY HAND, HE SAID, "CAREFUL, THOSE COINS R STICKY." I ASKED WHY . HE REPLIED, "YOU KNOW, MALE STUFF." FML

Today, I walkd in on girlfriend having sex with another man. Her main reaction was to get mad at me 4 not knocking. FML

#20893002
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57791) - you deserved it (4611)

On 09/23/2013 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)



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