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Saturday 28 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML

#20904456
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16520) - you deserved it (109256)

On 10/02/2013 at 8:43am - love - by Lilly (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I accidentally texted a picture of my cock to my dad. FML

#20907559
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25694) - you deserved it (77842)

On 10/04/2013 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my bully made me cry once again. It's been going on for weeks. I don't know who to turn to; I can't say anything because I'd get into even more trouble. He even stole my Nintendo 3DS and won't give it back. My bully is my girlfriend's son. He's 10. FML

#20904358
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29937) - you deserved it (49705)

On 10/02/2013 at 4:12am - kids - by PickedOnByDamien (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML

#20907982
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21243) - you deserved it (47769)

On 10/05/2013 at 2:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked into a really fancy hotel bathroom. I spoke to the attendant and gave her my purse and coat while I used the toilet. When I came out, she was gone. The receptionist informed me they didn't have a bathroom attendant. FML

#20905582
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24083) - you deserved it (47176)

On 10/03/2013 at 1:41am - money - by wellcrap - United States (Texas)

Today, my body-building addiction hit a whole new level when I begged my friend to sell me her breast milk. FML

Today, I smelled chicken nuggets and asked my boyfriend if he was making some. He wasn't. It was my armpits. FML

#20902037
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21720) - you deserved it (38753)

On 09/30/2013 at 3:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML

#20907372
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19570) - you deserved it (38631)

On 10/04/2013 at 4:25pm - misc - by vcarder (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was grocery shopping. When I got to the frozen foods, I saw some lean pockets, which I haven't had in forever, so I bought a couple of boxes. Around lunch time, I was hungry and thought I could have some, until I realized why I stopped buying them: I don't have a microwave. FML

#20908021
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21604) - you deserved it (36558)

On 10/05/2013 at 4:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out this girl I had sex with lied to me. They weren't razor burn bumps. And I now have them. FML

#20898893
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56758) - you deserved it (36434)

On 09/28/2013 at 7:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I got a text from someone I met last night at a bar. We texted all day and planned to meet up later. The whole time I had in my mind who he was, but when we met up it was someone completely different that I didn't remember. I had to sit through the whole date pretending I knew him. FML

Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML

#20906275
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33965) - you deserved it (28961)

On 10/03/2013 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Kyra.45 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

#20900698
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61261) - you deserved it (25717)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by -___- (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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