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Friday 27 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML

#20905661
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35335) - you deserved it (2778)

On 10/03/2013 at 4:26am - animals - by hoo flung pu - United States

Today, at the age of 23, I brought my boyfriend over to meet my parents. My father swabbed his mouth for DNA and fingerprinted him. FML

Today, I sent a student to the dean for trying to smoke pot in my class. His mother called to complain that I publicly humiliated her son. FML

Today, I was at Petsmart with my puppy. Someone tried to pet him. I tried to warn the guy that he is a rescue and doesn't trust easily. He didn't listen and now wants to sue me for a dog bite that didn't even break the skin. FML

#20906371
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41277) - you deserved it (2734)

On 10/03/2013 at 8:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, some asshat chewed me out over a 10 cent late fine he was charged on his library card. When I tried to explain the fine to him, he started mimicking me. Finally, as he chucked a dime at my head before storming out, I saw the glint of a Rolex watch from beneath his power suit. FML

#20894007
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40820) - you deserved it (2687)

On 09/24/2013 at 2:14am - work - by DimeShapedBruise (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mum dismissed my diagnosed schizophrenia as "too much time with those earphones in". FML

#20897726
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35962) - you deserved it (2675)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:56am - health - by awkwardology - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to work at my job as a secretary. I had been given the task to file my boss's collection of Playboy magazines alphabetically by name of the centerfold. There was one for every month from the years of 1980 until now. FML

#20895973
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33209) - you deserved it (2665)

On 09/25/2013 at 7:22pm - work - by Abcporn (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. We are on a cruise together. She has already found another room to sleep in. FML

#20899028
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45203) - you deserved it (2665)

On 09/28/2013 at 11:21am - love - by Christian (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my controlling, verbally abusive ex-boyfriend from nearly four years ago is still obsessed with me. Apparently, he's told everyone back home that he and I are getting married as soon as I finish college. We haven't spoken in over two years. FML

#20897674
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42219) - you deserved it (2647)

On 09/27/2013 at 2:20am - love - by kitkat3308 - United States

Today, I realized how bad my insomnia had got when I tried answering my water bottle when my alarm went off. FML

#20901491
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33291) - you deserved it (2639)

On 09/30/2013 at 1:01am - health - by Overworked - United States

Today, my girlfriend got mad at me because I slept on the couch last night. She also seems to have forgotten that we had an argument last night, after which she stormed into our bedroom and locked me out. FML

#20905054
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35196) - you deserved it (2625)

On 10/02/2013 at 7:16pm - love - by Couch Potato - United States (California)

Today, my boss' son is training to take over my job as head translator, after having convinced his dad that he's fluent in Spanish, and that my skills suck. I soon walked in on him using Google Translate on a legal document. My boss refuses to believe me. FML

#20898132
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44066) - you deserved it (2622)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:41pm - work - by anahira6 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on the bus, heading to work, when the girl beside me started yelling at me, claiming I was staring down her shirt. I did no such thing, but the driver nonetheless stopped the bus and made me get off, all under the withering glares of the other passengers. FML

#20907593
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39253) - you deserved it (2614)

On 10/04/2013 at 8:04pm - misc - by ricky the sage (man) - United Kingdom (Coventry)



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