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Friday 27 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got paired up with a coworker for a three-month project. All he talks about is how attractive my girlfriend is and what he would do with her. FML

#20901560
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42517) - you deserved it (3171)

On 09/30/2013 at 2:02am - work - by 3 More Months (man) - United States (California)

Today, my best friend told me that she no longer wants to cut herself because now she's madly in love with a guy in our school. She doesn't know that he's gay. FML

#20893179
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48121) - you deserved it (3144)

On 09/23/2013 at 4:49pm - love - by friend loves a gay guy... - United States (Ohio)

Today, my psycho ex-girlfriend, who's already made two threats against my life, informed me that she now has a concealed carry permit. FML

#20907451
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42647) - you deserved it (3140)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was cutting a client's hair, and she was complaining about how itchy her head was from having it too long. As I lay down my comb and shears, three lice bugs ran across my counter. FML

Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML

#20902425
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42866) - you deserved it (3123)

On 09/30/2013 at 7:54pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, I got kicked out of English class shortly after our teacher told us we have to write an essay on how the storyline of Harry Potter is one big allegory for "the futility of socialism." Apparently, reacting with disbelief makes me a "disruptive influence." FML

#20905920
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31813) - you deserved it (3070)

On 10/03/2013 at 12:42pm - misc - by WTF? (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, a drunk man walked into my house at 2pm, screaming out, "Honey, I'm home!" He had the wrong house, but it looks like I've finally met my new neighbour. FML

#20895601
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36178) - you deserved it (3040)

On 09/25/2013 at 12:35pm - misc - by nicetomeetyou2 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a coworker at school yelled at one of our students to be quiet. The kid got pretty upset, so I went to comfort him. He held my hand for the rest of the class, telling me in vivid detail how he was going to kill my coworker. Now I'm afraid to look at him. FML

#20903281
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37771) - you deserved it (3003)

On 10/01/2013 at 12:36pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a cute guy ditched his date and walked up to me, calling me beautiful. Not knowing how to reply, I just blushed. His date got angry and left. "Sorry. I take that back," he then said. "I was just trying to get rid of her. Thanks anyway." FML

#20906907
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47014) - you deserved it (2994)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:37am - love - by okaythen (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, my brother finally paid me the $60 he owed me. I later found out that he'd stolen those $60 from my wallet. FML

#20906200
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40630) - you deserved it (2958)

On 10/03/2013 at 5:40pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I watched in horror as my dad picked up a dead centipede, placed it on his tongue, and then swallowed it. FML

#20896754
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35575) - you deserved it (2945)

On 09/26/2013 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I invited my new girlfriend over for the first time. My roommate thought it would be funny to go on a porn site on my computer and leave it up. She saw it, freaked out, slapped me, and left. FML

#20895735
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36558) - you deserved it (2933)

On 09/25/2013 at 3:23pm - love - by burb - Germany (Berlin)

Today, my niece, who is fifteen, convinced my six-year-old daughter that her name is spelled C-U-N-T, and just pronounced as Catherine. FML

#20893921
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38368) - you deserved it (2930)

On 09/24/2013 at 12:47am - kids - by cuntsmom (woman) - United States



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