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Friday 27 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got married. The officiant of the ceremony referred to me as Amanda through my ceremony. My name is Anna. FML

#20904287
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40568) - you deserved it (3460)

On 10/02/2013 at 1:54am - love - by KamiyaHaine (woman) - Singapore

Today, after watching an episode of New Girl, my boyfriend became obsessed with the "Cotton-eyed Joe" song. He won't stop playing it. FML

#20906604
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30961) - you deserved it (3433)

On 10/03/2013 at 10:56pm - love - by Annoyed - United States (Maryland)

Today, we got my dad an iPad for his birthday. I had to repeatedly reassure him that he could in fact touch the screen without being shocked. FML

#20899491
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35620) - you deserved it (3432)

On 09/28/2013 at 5:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, at work, I was taking a woman's measurements while she held her screaming baby. To silence the infant, she whipped out her breast right there and started feeding him. Moments later, he puked breast milk all over my desk. FML

#20905964
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39113) - you deserved it (3430)

On 10/03/2013 at 1:39pm - work - by blargh - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML

#20898181
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66576) - you deserved it (3414)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was told there was a bench warrant out for my arrest because a notice to appear for jury duty was sent to my old address and I never responded. I haven't lived at my old address for 2 years. FML

#20903036
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37012) - you deserved it (3405)

On 10/01/2013 at 4:34am - misc - by novapine (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, at my job as a fourth grade teacher, I realized that most of my students have far nicer and more expensive phones than I can afford. FML

#20892987
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44426) - you deserved it (3349)

On 09/23/2013 at 1:54pm - misc - by poor teacher - United States (Utah)

Today, I realised I sweat so much that I won't be able to go without sticking super pads with wings to my shirt underarms everyday. It makes supermarket trips interesting. Especially as a man. FML

#20895380
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34074) - you deserved it (3340)

On 09/25/2013 at 6:37am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a customer was paying for his food. As he placed the money in my hand, he said, "Careful, those coins are sticky." I asked why. He replied, "You know, male stuff." FML

Today, I discovered that I have caught head lice from my son. Unfortunately, they are living in my chest hair. FML

#20902262
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34731) - you deserved it (3308)

On 09/30/2013 at 5:59pm - health - by hairy (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, even though I don't necessarily believe in soul mates, I found out my wife does. She met hers a few weeks ago. FML

#20896483
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41755) - you deserved it (3293)

On 09/26/2013 at 2:54am - love - by NotTheSoulMate (man) - United States

Today, someone stole my card number and tried to use it. Every transaction got declined, not because the bank knew it was a fraudulent charge, but because I'm so poor that he couldn't make even a single purchase. FML

Today, yet again, I got to my desk at work at 8 AM to find my laptop turned on and porn sites opened. Weird porn sites. I have no idea who is doing this, or how they have access to my office, or how they got my login password. HR thinks I'm making this up. FML

#20894123
165 comments


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