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Friday 27 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, we got my dad an iPad for his birthday. I had to repeatedly reassure him that he could in fact touch the screen without being shocked. FML

#20899491
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35522) - you deserved it (3425)

On 09/28/2013 at 5:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, after watching an episode of New Girl, my boyfriend became obsessed with the "Cotton-eyed Joe" song. He won't stop playing it. FML

#20906604
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30857) - you deserved it (3423)

On 10/03/2013 at 10:56pm - love - by Annoyed - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was told there was a bench warrant out for my arrest because a notice to appear for jury duty was sent to my old address and I never responded. I haven't lived at my old address for 2 years. FML

#20903036
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36904) - you deserved it (3398)

On 10/01/2013 at 4:34am - misc - by novapine (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML

#20898181
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66175) - you deserved it (3395)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend's dad said he'd given my boyfriend £100 to take me out for a meal last night and he hoped I'd enjoyed it. Last night my boyfriend and I went to pizza hut, shared a pizza and split the bill. Turns out my boyfriend had simply pocketed the money without telling anyone. FML

#20903132
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43560) - you deserved it (3379)

On 10/01/2013 at 8:32am - love - by hmmm (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, a customer was paying for his food. As he placed the money in my hand, he said, "Careful, those coins are sticky." I asked why. He replied, "You know, male stuff." FML

Today, someone stole my card number and tried to use it. Every transaction got declined, not because the bank knew it was a fraudulent charge, but because I'm so poor that he couldn't make even a single purchase. FML

Today, I got paired up with a coworker for a three-month project. All he talks about is how attractive my girlfriend is and what he would do with her. FML

#20901560
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42385) - you deserved it (3166)

On 09/30/2013 at 2:02am - work - by 3 More Months (man) - United States (California)

Today, my best friend told me that she no longer wants to cut herself because now she's madly in love with a guy in our school. She doesn't know that he's gay. FML

#20893179
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47940) - you deserved it (3134)

On 09/23/2013 at 4:49pm - love - by friend loves a gay guy... - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML

#20902425
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42668) - you deserved it (3114)

On 09/30/2013 at 7:54pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, I was cutting a client's hair, and she was complaining about how itchy her head was from having it too long. As I lay down my comb and shears, three lice bugs ran across my counter. FML

Today, at work, I was taking a woman's measurements while she held her screaming baby. To silence the infant, she whipped out her breast right there and started feeding him. Moments later, he puked breast milk all over my desk. FML

#20905964
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37411) - you deserved it (3101)

On 10/03/2013 at 1:39pm - work - by blargh - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, I got kicked out of English class shortly after our teacher told us we have to write an essay on how the storyline of Harry Potter is one big allegory for "the futility of socialism." Apparently, reacting with disbelief makes me a "disruptive influence." FML

#20905920
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31689) - you deserved it (3064)

On 10/03/2013 at 12:42pm - misc - by WTF? (man) - United States (New Mexico)



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