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Friday 27 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was training at work on proper techniques of physical restraint. As my coworker was practicing on me, I realized this was the first time I've had physical contact with a man in years. I'm ashamed to admit how good it felt to feel his weight pressed into my back as I pretended to resist. FML

#20906772
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38897) - you deserved it (4385)

On 10/04/2013 at 1:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I had to explain to my son why it is not okay to slap old women's butts. He's 16. FML

#20894598
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34026) - you deserved it (4290)

On 09/24/2013 at 5:01pm - kids - by mandm - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend made bacon sandwiches for lunch. I didn't want to be rude, but I couldn't help but mention that the bacon smelled and tasted weird. I thought it may have expired. She said not to worry because she used the dry bacon under the counter. Those were dog treats. FML

#20894470
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47593) - you deserved it (4273)

On 09/24/2013 at 3:08pm - misc - by Undercooked (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my purse was stolen from my bag while I was on the train. The thief will be surprised to find that it wasn't my money purse, but in fact my "period purse". Hope they find tampons useful. FML

#20906908
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49289) - you deserved it (4191)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:39am - misc - by haveahappyperiod (woman) -

Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML

#20895155
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43972) - you deserved it (4139)

On 09/24/2013 at 11:51pm - work - by littledipper - United States (New York)

Today, after watching an episode of New Girl, my boyfriend became obsessed with the "Cotton-eyed Joe" song. He won't stop playing it. FML

#20906604
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33725) - you deserved it (4103)

On 10/03/2013 at 10:56pm - love - by Annoyed - United States (Maryland)

Today, a stranger pulled me out of the path of a speeding taxicab. He then took one look at my face, said, "I should've left you there", and walked away. FML

#20900063
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43302) - you deserved it (4097)

On 09/29/2013 at 1:45am - misc - by -__-" - United States (Washington)

Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML

#20898181
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66798) - you deserved it (4063)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working the night shift when a guy came in smelling like alcohol. He kept muttering his order, so I leaned over the register to hear him better. My ear now smells of vomit. FML

#20897734
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37400) - you deserved it (4028)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:18am - work - by ihatethisjob - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband and I switched phones by accident. I've already received several naked pictures from one of his co-workers. FML

#20898640
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59112) - you deserved it (3983)

On 09/28/2013 at 12:08am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I came home to find my parents wearing Santa hats and blasting Christmas music at full volume. So begins three months of hell. FML

#20898104
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38122) - you deserved it (3945)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML

#20903010
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32635) - you deserved it (3936)

On 10/01/2013 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, the person I've been trying so hard to get with wrote me a beautiful poem that almost everyone at my school saw and liked. It was about how we'd never be together. FML

#20904440
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45101) - you deserved it (3911)

On 10/02/2013 at 8:17am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)



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