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Friday 27 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my grandmother convinced me to come to a church meeting with her. My grandmother then made funny faces at me while the pastor was speaking, causing me to laugh out loud. Everyone heard me, including the pastor. FML

#20905574
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34560) - you deserved it (5029)

On 10/03/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML

#20895757
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38991) - you deserved it (4993)

On 09/25/2013 at 4:02pm - misc - by scared shitless in ohio (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finally handed my girlfriend a portrait of her. I'm not the best drawer, but I spent weeks on it and I thought it turned out pretty good. When she looked at it, she asked what kind of dog was it. FML

#20900272
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42027) - you deserved it (4951)

On 09/29/2013 at 9:00am - love - by Laserbeaver (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my financial issues hit a new low when I had to borrow back some of the money I gave the guy who did my hair. FML

#20896461
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30764) - you deserved it (4943)

On 09/26/2013 at 2:24am - money - by MrsCasillas (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my 15-year-old daughter said she wanted to become a "baby name expert". I chortled, until I looked it up. They actually exist. FML

#20896486
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35917) - you deserved it (4915)

On 09/26/2013 at 3:06am - kids - by anotherfmladdict (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to one of the United States Mints since he enjoys coins. He looked at the money and seriously said, "I have such a hard on". He did. FML

#20905869
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45314) - you deserved it (4718)

On 10/03/2013 at 11:38am - intimacy - by EconM - United States

Today, at work, a lady came in to have her glasses fixed. When she opened her case, an earwig crawled out. Instead of trying to kill it, she just left it and watched as it crawled over my desk and behind my computer. I later found the earwig in my hair. FML

#20899979
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42726) - you deserved it (4673)

On 09/29/2013 at 12:16am - work - by browngirl - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a customer was paying for his food. As he placed the money in my hand, he said, "Careful, those coins are sticky." I asked why. He replied, "You know, male stuff." FML

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with another man. Her main reaction was to get mad at me for not knocking. FML

#20893002
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57859) - you deserved it (4614)

On 09/23/2013 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, at work as a cashier, I was scanning cantaloupes. The man buying them then looked me straight in the eye and said, "Nice melons." FML

#20900810
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35600) - you deserved it (4612)

On 09/29/2013 at 5:12pm - work - by Nice Melons (woman) - United States

Today, at 6 in the morning, I sneezed so hard I fell off my bed. I guess I'm up for the day. FML

#20898877
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38505) - you deserved it (4607)

On 09/28/2013 at 6:53am - misc - by blackcat37 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was training at work on proper techniques of physical restraint. As my coworker was practicing on me, I realized this was the first time I've had physical contact with a man in years. I'm ashamed to admit how good it felt to feel his weight pressed into my back as I pretended to resist. FML

#20906772
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40459) - you deserved it (4595)

On 10/04/2013 at 1:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, one of my regular customers asked when we were getting married. I told him as much as I would love that, I didn't think my boyfriend would be very happy. He called me a "stuck up b*tch" and informed me he only comes to my line because he can always see through my shirt. He is 72. And married. FML

#20892597
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41017) - you deserved it (4550)

On 09/23/2013 at 2:27am - work - by peejay6831 (woman) - United States



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