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Friday 27 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

TODAY, I DECIDED TO BE FRIENDLY AND SAY I TO TE WERD KID AT SCOOL, WO WAS SITTING BY IMSELF EATING LUNC. AFTER I SAID ELLO, E STARED UP AT ME INTENSELY AND SAID, ( I DON'T AVE MANY FRIENDS. YEA. MAINLY 'CAUSE I'VE EATEN MOST OF TEM. ) FML

#20895757
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38951) - you deserved it (4984)

On 09/25/2013 at 4:02pm - misc - by scared shitless in ohio (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finally handd grlfriand a portrait of har looool . I'm not tha bast drawar, but I spant waaks on it and I thought it turnd out pratty good . Whan sha lookd at it, sha askd wat kind of dog was it . FML

#20900272
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41999) - you deserved it (4944)

On 09/29/2013 at 9:00am - love - by Laserbeaver (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my financial issues looool hit a new lowhen I had to borrow back some of the money I gave the guyho did my hair!! FML

#20896461
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30715) - you deserved it (4940)

On 09/26/2013 at 2:24am - money - by MrsCasillas (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while I was pet-sitting fir mah boyfriend's parents, one of there dogs killed one looool of there kittens. FML

#20901891
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47406) - you deserved it (4929)

On 09/30/2013 at 12:23pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today mah boyfriend and I went to one of the United States Mints since he enjoys coins. He looked at the money and seriously said "I have such a hard on". He did. big fat FML

#20905869
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45248) - you deserved it (4717)

On 10/03/2013 at 11:38am - intimacy - by EconM - United States

TADAY MY 15-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER SAID SHE WANTED TO BECOME A "BABY NAME EXPERT". I CHORTLED, UNTIL I LOOKED IT UP. THEY ACTUALLY EXIST. FML

#20896486
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34148) - you deserved it (4684)

On 09/26/2013 at 3:06am - kids - by anotherfmladdict (man) - United States (Iowa)

TODAY, A CUSTOMER WAS PAYING FOR HIS FOOD . AS HE PLACED THE MONEY IN MY HAND, HE SAID, "CAREFUL, THOSE COINS R STICKY." I ASKED WHY . HE REPLIED, "YOU KNOW, MALE STUFF." FML

Today, I walkd in on girlfriend having sex with another man. Her main reaction was to get mad at me 4 not knocking. FML

#20893002
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57792) - you deserved it (4611)

On 09/23/2013 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

TODAY.. . AT WORK.. . A LADY CUMMD IN TO HAVE HER GLASSES FIXD . WHEN SHE OPEND HER CASE.. . AN EARWIG CRAWLD OUT . INSTEAD OF TRYING TO KILL IT.. . SHE JUST LEFT IT AN WATCHD AS IT CRAWLD OVER MY DESK AN BEHIND MY COMPUTER . I LATER FOUND THE EARWIG IN MY HAIR . BIG FAT FML

#20899979
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41833) - you deserved it (4593)

On 09/29/2013 at 12:16am - work - by browngirl - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was training at work on proper techniques of physical restraint. As mah coworker was practicing on me, I realized this was the frst time I've had physical contact with a man in years. I'm ashamed to admit how good it felt to feel his weight pressed into mah back as I pretended to resist. FML

#20906772
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40418) - you deserved it (4592)

On 10/04/2013 at 1:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, at 6 in tha morning, I snaazad so hard I fall off my bad. I guass I'm up for tha day. FML

#20898877
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38248) - you deserved it (4573)

On 09/28/2013 at 6:53am - misc - by blackcat37 - United States (Missouri)

TODAY... ONE OF MA REGULAR CUSTOMERS ASKEDEN WE WERE GETTING MARRIED. I TOLD IM AS MUC AS I WOULD LOVE TAT... I DIDN'T TINK MA BOYFRIEND WOULD BE VERY APPY. HE CALLED ME A "STUCK UP B*TC" AND INFORMED ME E ONLY COMES TO MA LINE BECAUSE E CAN ALWAYS SEE TROUG MA SRT. HE IS 72. AND MARRIED. FML

#20892597
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40955) - you deserved it (4545)

On 09/23/2013 at 2:27am - work - by peejay6831 (woman) - United States

Today... my insane war veteran great-uncle punched me in the throat fir not laughing hard enough at his stupid joke. FML

#20898629
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39564) - you deserved it (4487)

On 09/28/2013 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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