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Friday 27 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend called me a selfish bitch and dumped me after I told him I'm planning on getting much-needed breast reduction surgery. FML

#20903440
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62448) - you deserved it (15034)

On 10/01/2013 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Ggirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my one-night stand decided he wanted to meet my parents. FML

#20895300
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37897) - you deserved it (13420)

On 09/25/2013 at 2:59am - love - by so_screwed - United States (California)

Today, my friends and I spent a little too long enjoying a beautiful cliff overlooking the ocean. We spent the next 3 hours lost in a pitch black jungle with only one pocket-sized flashlight. FML

#20901708
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37264) - you deserved it (12460)

On 09/30/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by sothisishowidie - Guam

Today, my sex-crazed ex wrote me a letter so bad, it haunts me that I let a guy with such terrible grammar skills touch my boobs. FML

#20903082
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46427) - you deserved it (11594)

On 10/01/2013 at 6:47am - intimacy - by whatdoesitmatter (woman) - India (Tamil Nadu)

Today, my parents surprised me by redecorating my room. I think they were more surprised by the box of naughty toys under my bed. FML

#20902324
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44240) - you deserved it (11028)

On 09/30/2013 at 6:41pm - intimacy - by A.Summers (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my mom blew her top when I casually mentioned that it's pretty well known that the story of Jesus is a retelling of older Persian and Egyptian stories. She then went on to yell at me that I wasted my money on college and "book learning". FML

#20903762
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34810) - you deserved it (10313)

On 10/01/2013 at 7:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to a really important job interview. During it, I accidentally let out a burp, came down with nervous hiccups, and when I tried to quietly ease out some painful gas that was building up, it came out as a massive, rancid fart. I'll definitely be unemployed for a while yet. FML

#20898243
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44250) - you deserved it (10044)

On 09/27/2013 at 5:33pm - work - by ;_;" (woman) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I saw two kids having a fistfight in the street. I ran over to stop them, and one ended up hitting me in the eye. I now have a black eye over what turned out to have been a fight over who was going to get the last slice of pizza. FML

#20900036
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40199) - you deserved it (9482)

On 09/29/2013 at 1:10am - kids - by ahuman - United States

Today, I got a ticket for speeding in a school zone. The school hasn't even been built yet. FML

#20905615
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51751) - you deserved it (9092)

On 10/03/2013 at 2:23am - money - by joecool3426 (man) - United States

Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML

#20901686
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42104) - you deserved it (8805)

On 09/30/2013 at 6:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I asked my boyfriend about his views on personal growth. He replied, "What, you mean dick size?" FML

#20895521
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43245) - you deserved it (8605)

On 09/25/2013 at 10:42am - intimacy - by what (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found tiny little maggots in the bristles of my toothbrush. I have no idea how long they've been there. FML

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner and have to leave in shame. FML

#20899471
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67014) - you deserved it (7801)

On 09/28/2013 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by :( (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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