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Wednesday 18 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML

#20887758
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37622) - you deserved it (2847)

On 09/19/2013 at 1:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's my wedding day. Almost a year ago I was in a terrible car accident that nearly left me paralyzed, but I worked my ass off to be able to walk down the aisle. After a lot of blood, sweat, and tears I made it to the big day... and woke up with food poisoning. FML

#20883990
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63085) - you deserved it (2826)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:11pm - health - by somethingblue - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the Internet wasn't working. One girl decided to try to diagnose the problem. It said to connect the Ethernet cable. She started making fun of the computer for spelling "Internet" wrong. I'm graduating with this idiot in less than a month. FML

#20886445
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41469) - you deserved it (2805)

On 09/18/2013 at 10:57am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boss decided that we no longer have to clock out for cigarette breaks, but we do for toilet breaks. I'm the only non-smoker on my floor, and I'm getting penalised for it. FML

#20886555
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40523) - you deserved it (2783)

On 09/18/2013 at 1:48pm - work - by Anon - United Kingdom

Today, I found my brother wearing nothing but underwear. That would have been okay if it weren't my lingerie. FML

Today, some asshat chewed me out over a 10 cent late fine he was charged on his library card. When I tried to explain the fine to him, he started mimicking me. Finally, as he chucked a dime at my head before storming out, I saw the glint of a Rolex watch from beneath his power suit. FML

#20894007
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41027) - you deserved it (2699)

On 09/24/2013 at 2:14am - work - by DimeShapedBruise (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to put up with a student who stubbornly insisted that King Solomon was, in fact, a Pokémon. FML

Today, just like the last several days, I walked out to my car after class only to notice the Justin Beiber stickers arranged on my bumper and license plates. My dad put them there, and thinks it's just as hilarious as the first time. He has four packs of stickers left. FML

#20886085
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35916) - you deserved it (2677)

On 09/18/2013 at 12:22am - misc - by NonBelieber - United States (Alabama)

Today, my online order arrived earlier than I expected. I opened it to find some kind of anal sex toy. Whoever this is for is going to be disappointed when they get my 3DS game. FML

#20894309
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38236) - you deserved it (2617)

On 09/24/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister and her two-year-old came to my place for a visit. Not long after arriving, my niece ripped off her diaper and immediately took a dump on my white carpet. Guess who had to 'suddenly' leave afterwards, leaving me to clean up the mess. FML

#20892017
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38574) - you deserved it (2582)

On 09/22/2013 at 8:08pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I noticed that my new colleague never laughs. Instead she says, "LOL". I have to work with her every day. FML

#20884887
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38134) - you deserved it (2575)

On 09/17/2013 at 4:26am - work - by Jienaf (man) - Malta

Today, while riding the bus, the person next to me broke into a coughing fit. Fortunately, he covered his mouth. Unfortunately, he used my arm. FML

#20889355
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37741) - you deserved it (2521)

On 09/20/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by -.- - United States (California)

Today, it was my first day closing alone at a pet store when a lady came in wanting to return a bird she bought months ago. Once I informed her there were no returns on livestock, she let the bird free and ran out the door, leaving me to catch it and explain to my manager where it came from. FML

#20885115
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40412) - you deserved it (2478)

On 09/17/2013 at 11:44am - work - by tay - Canada (Ontario)



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