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Wednesday 18 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at a family party, my uncles were complimenting my mom on her pies. I cooked them. She took all the credit. FML

#20883979
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42814) - you deserved it (3351)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:03pm - misc - by zachadams - United States (New York)

Today, I was let down for a movie date. As I'd already paid for the tickets, I got my narcoleptic sister to come and sit next to me while she slept, so it didn't look like I came on my own. FML

#20895886
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34954) - you deserved it (3346)

On 09/25/2013 at 6:12pm - love - by cinemasaddo (man) - United Kingdom

Today, the creepy kid on the bus saved me a seat again. Thinking he wanted to be friends, I followed him on twitter. He was doing a live video feed so I checked it out. It was of me. FML

Today, I helped my brother propose to his girlfriend of 5 years in the spot where they had first met. As he delivered his heartfelt speech, a sizable crowd appeared. When he got down on one knee, she punched him in the gut, yelled, "I never loved you", and ran away. Now he won't talk to me. FML

#20887080
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52190) - you deserved it (3323)

On 09/18/2013 at 9:45pm - love - by ElizaZee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my niece, who is fifteen, convinced my six-year-old daughter that her name is spelled C-U-N-T, and just pronounced as Catherine. FML

#20893921
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42898) - you deserved it (3322)

On 09/24/2013 at 12:47am - kids - by cuntsmom (woman) - United States

Today, while I was working, someone came in and attempted to purchase GTA 5 with a medical marijuana card. FML

#20892589
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41483) - you deserved it (3318)

On 09/23/2013 at 2:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I took my girlfriend out to eat at a diner where my friend works. My friend was our waiter but too busy to talk much. He texted me after we'd left to tell me that my girlfriend had slipped him her number. FML

#20894038
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52977) - you deserved it (3272)

On 09/24/2013 at 3:15am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that my grandma has pictures of all her grandchildren all over her house, with one glaring exception: me. FML

Today, I had to explain to my brother why it's not OK to stick his knob in the toaster. FML

#20893446
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41668) - you deserved it (3197)

On 09/23/2013 at 8:05pm - kids - by latter - United States (Maryland)

Today, I bought some really expensive face wipes that were supposed to cure my awful acne. I was excited to use them until I found out my mom had used them all wiping down her car. FML

Today, I sent a student to the dean for trying to smoke pot in my class. His mother called to complain that I publicly humiliated her son. FML

Today, I went to visit my overly-posh mother for the first time in many years. Upon arrival, she kicked me out because my outfit did not follow the same color-scheme as her decor. FML

#20888617
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45894) - you deserved it (3150)

On 09/20/2013 at 1:52am - misc - by wat - United States (California)

Today, after being stood up at a diner, I called the girl who was supposed to have met me. Turns out, she thought I was kidding when I asked her out. FML

#20893951
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45091) - you deserved it (3140)

On 09/24/2013 at 1:16am - love - by Anonymous -



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