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Wednesday 18 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realised I sweat so much that I won't be able to go without sticking super pads with wings to my shirt underarms everyday. It makes supermarket trips interesting. Especially as a man. FML

#20895380
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36977) - you deserved it (3670)

On 09/25/2013 at 6:37am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I invited my new girlfriend over for the first time. My roommate thought it would be funny to go on a porn site on my computer and leave it up. She saw it, freaked out, slapped me, and left. FML

#20895735
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42296) - you deserved it (3647)

On 09/25/2013 at 3:23pm - love - by burb - Germany (Berlin)

Today, at my job as a fourth grade teacher, I realized that most of my students have far nicer and more expensive phones than I can afford. FML

#20892987
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47835) - you deserved it (3645)

On 09/23/2013 at 1:54pm - misc - by poor teacher - United States (Utah)

Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. After assessing the loss, I saw a taunting note on the fridge saying, "Locks work best when the door's SHUT." My housekeeper had apparently left the door wide open. FML

#20885188
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43644) - you deserved it (3598)

On 09/17/2013 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my mum got engaged to her American pen-pal, who is in prison over there for murder. FML

Today, yet again, I got to my desk at work at 8 AM to find my laptop turned on and porn sites opened. Weird porn sites. I have no idea who is doing this, or how they have access to my office, or how they got my login password. HR thinks I'm making this up. FML

#20894123
166 comments

Today, my room mate told all of our mutual friends that he had walked in on me doing woodwork in my room. They all thought he meant he had caught me rubbing one out. I'm actually building a guitar. FML

#20883989
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48856) - you deserved it (3387)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:11pm - intimacy - by I have wood (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad and I had a yelling match about me "lying", because I was unable to contact iTunes support without a phone number. To prove a point, he went online to find the phone number. It's been an hour and he's still searching for the number. I can't leave the table until he has found it. FML

#20891277
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41620) - you deserved it (3341)

On 09/22/2013 at 9:57am - misc - by SeriouslyDad (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML

#20889651
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49467) - you deserved it (3339)

On 09/21/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, a man at the comic book store I work at asked me if Spider-Man is based on a real story, and verbally abused me when, thinking he was joking, I laughed. He wasn't. FML

#20887394
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36417) - you deserved it (3313)

On 09/19/2013 at 1:35am - work - by some people... - United States

Today, a drunk man walked into my house at 2pm, screaming out, "Honey, I'm home!" He had the wrong house, but it looks like I've finally met my new neighbour. FML

#20895601
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39123) - you deserved it (3310)

On 09/25/2013 at 12:35pm - misc - by nicetomeetyou2 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was let down for a movie date. As I'd already paid for the tickets, I got my narcoleptic sister to come and sit next to me while she slept, so it didn't look like I came on my own. FML

#20895886
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34222) - you deserved it (3267)

On 09/25/2013 at 6:12pm - love - by cinemasaddo (man) - United Kingdom

Today, while I was working, someone came in and attempted to purchase GTA 5 with a medical marijuana card. FML

#20892589
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40648) - you deserved it (3259)

On 09/23/2013 at 2:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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