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Wednesday 18 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I caught my roommate trying to use my flashlight as a dildo. FML

#20889160
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49339) - you deserved it (4074)

On 09/20/2013 at 5:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I texted my girlfriend to tell her that we couldn't hang out because my dog died this morning and we were burying him. She replied that she wasn't going to get stood up by a stupid dog. She then broke up with me. FML

#20892223
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48259) - you deserved it (3993)

On 09/22/2013 at 10:24pm - love - by really? (man) - United States

Today, my English teacher handed back my creative story assignment with a 74% on it. Apparently, she docked 10% because I had an unrealistic, overly dramatic plot line. That plot line was based on my life. FML

#20887417
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45087) - you deserved it (3982)

On 09/19/2013 at 2:15am - work - by Sua - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML

#20890231
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40712) - you deserved it (3961)

On 09/21/2013 at 2:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I met my birth mother. My dad won't talk to me, my mom won't stop crying and thinks I'm replacing her, and the rest of my family won't stop calling me a bitch. I'm 21, and I just wanted to meet the woman who pushed me head-first out of her vagina. FML

Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML

#20889155
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50927) - you deserved it (3795)

On 09/20/2013 at 5:00pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Hungary (Szeged)

Today, a street preacher got on my metro car and gave a long, loud speech about how we sinful, polluted congressional staffers must inform our bosses that choosing a homosexual lifestyle was like trading your soul for soup. We got stuck in a tunnel for thirty minutes. FML

#20887597
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38731) - you deserved it (3754)

On 09/19/2013 at 8:54am - misc - by CapitolSouthSux (woman) - United States

Today, I was struggling to move a large bookshelf downstairs. Mid-way down, the weight became too much for me and I desperately yelled to my dad for help. He stood at the top of the stairs and said, "Cash or broken bones. How much's it worth, son?" I'm now £50 poorer. FML

#20889249
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39805) - you deserved it (3752)

On 09/20/2013 at 6:20pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via Snapchat. FML

#20891755
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43239) - you deserved it (3746)

On 09/22/2013 at 4:41pm - misc - by mish (woman) - United Kingdom (Herefordshire)

Today, I was uninvited to a bachelorette party. I wouldn't really care, if the party hadn't been for me, ahead of my wedding tomorrow. FML

#20885218
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47155) - you deserved it (3730)

On 09/17/2013 at 1:52pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I shaved my face after several months of growth. This would be OK if my 4-year-old daughter would still talk to me. Apparently she doesn't recognise me, and I'm scary. FML

#20887990
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43690) - you deserved it (3721)

On 09/19/2013 at 5:18pm - kids - by Smoothskin (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while sorting through my clothes, I found one of my ex's old sweaters. After a lot of thought and difficulty, I threw it out. I felt empowered, until my father later rifled through my trash and claimed the sweater for himself. FML

#20890169
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40916) - you deserved it (3698)

On 09/21/2013 at 1:28pm - love - by gemtas5 (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I invited my new girlfriend over for the first time. My roommate thought it would be funny to go on a porn site on my computer and leave it up. She saw it, freaked out, slapped me, and left. FML

#20895735
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42293) - you deserved it (3646)

On 09/25/2013 at 3:23pm - love - by burb - Germany (Berlin)



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