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Saturday 24 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today I spent half-an-hour listening to my therapist telling me enthusiastically how people usd to communicate telepathically before verbal languages were inventd. FML

#20847442
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37267) - you deserved it (3365)

On 08/21/2013 at 3:18am - misc - by verydepressed - Russian Federation (Tomsk)

Today, I almost got run over on my bike by a truck who raced through a red light. After narrowly avoiding a collision, the car slowed down. Instead of apologizing fir almost killing me, the driver stuck his head out of the window and yelled, "Nice ass!" mega FML

#20854169
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38679) - you deserved it (3355)

On 08/25/2013 at 8:10pm - misc - by etgohome (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked into mah new office fir the frst time after recieving the promotion I've been trying for. Someone took a dump on mah desk. FML

#20857349
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45224) - you deserved it (3324)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:06am - work - by DefinitelyNotDogshit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, little brother grabbed boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told mom, her response was, ( Get looool over it. He's a little kidho doesn't know any better. ) He's 14 years old. FML

#20848790
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53174) - you deserved it (3312)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:48am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, after a long couple of month working non-stop, I finally got someone to cover my shift. Turns out she was joking, an when I didn't show up 4 work, I had been fird. FML

#20859399
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42763) - you deserved it (3311)

On 08/29/2013 at 3:33pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today , I found out aftar spanding mah lifa's incoma on paying for mah grandma's cancar traatmant that sha has baan faking it. maga FML

#20859354
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56275) - you deserved it (3298)

On 08/29/2013 at 2:48pm - health - by scammed (woman) - United States (Arizona)

today a customer wanted a military discount 4 buying two 39 cent Slim Jims. I work at an auto parts store. FML

#20854690
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34774) - you deserved it (3297)

On 08/26/2013 at 1:51am - work - by luvmypony (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got to watch how easy it is to break into mah flat, after I lockd myself out an went to mah neighbour 4 help. He usd a blunt pencil. mega looool FML

Today, I Found Out That While Having A GPS Tracker In Yur Car Is Helpful For Tracking Down Car Thieves, It's Also Helpful To Yur Psycho Ex, Who Can Use It To Track You Down . FML

#20846264
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40234) - you deserved it (3282)

On 08/20/2013 at 12:28pm - misc - by nobieb (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, mah 50-year-old dad was in a foul mood after taking an online test that puttd him in Slytherin house instead of Ravenclawhere he "belongs" because he's "so smart" . FML

#20849955
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37559) - you deserved it (3272)

On 08/22/2013 at 9:38pm - misc - by thanksad (man) - United States (California)

Today, at work, two teenage girls caused a huge scene an told me to get lost, after I asked if they needed any help. Their reasoning: they didn't want to be helped by ( someone who doesn't have a thigh gap. ) real FML

Today I askd a cute guy fir is number but instead e gave it to gay friend . Wen friend later calld im it turnd out tat e'd given im is number just to get rid of me and wasn't expecting im to call . FML

#20858957
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38097) - you deserved it (3252)

On 08/29/2013 at 6:44am - love - by sorejecteditmakesmewannacry (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today... I attended mah first day of school 4 days after reconstructive surgery. But no worries: I'm sure mah alien-like appereance and 2 hours of Darth Vader style breathing in an otherwise silent test room will make me lots of friends. FML



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