Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Saturday 24 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my band informed me that our gig this afternoon was actually a wedding. Whose wedding? My ex-wife's, along with the guy she cheated on me with. For their first dance, I had to sing what used to be our song. FML

#20844435
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76139) - you deserved it (4237)

On 08/19/2013 at 9:06am - love - by Love stinks (man) - United States

Today, I had no choice but to bring my son to work as a med school professor. I sat him in a chair in a corner while I gave a lecture. To my surprise, he added another word to his limited vocabulary, and screamed it out loud with an ecstatic expression on his face. The word is "cancer". FML

#20856004
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38043) - you deserved it (4231)

On 08/27/2013 at 12:36am - kids - by Parenting... (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking home when I made eye contact with some guy, just being friendly. He then started rapping to me while pointing at his dick. FML

#20850372
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41310) - you deserved it (4226)

On 08/23/2013 at 2:23am - misc - by NotInterested (woman) - United States

Today, I had to endure my girlfriend crying and screaming at me. The reason? I'm not able to please her like the fictional character Christian Grey in 50 Shades of Grey. When she left me, she took all her stuff and left me with copies of the 3 books. FML

#20845941
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43340) - you deserved it (4169)

On 08/20/2013 at 4:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids, when a girl in line next to us slipped a hand down her boyfriend's pants and started groping him. I politely asked her to stop, to which she snorted, "Why? Your kids've gotta learn the birds and bees somehow." FML

#20852966
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47982) - you deserved it (4161)

On 08/24/2013 at 10:46pm - kids - by pda (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, half-way through my trip to Florida, I received a call from my friend of six years. "I sort of had sex with your girlfriend while you were gone." He said it "just sort of happened." FML

#20855295
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56580) - you deserved it (4088)

On 08/26/2013 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally received the bicycle I ordered months ago. It was an expensive custom-made bike which perfectly fit my 6'9" frame. Today, that bike got stolen. FML

#20859064
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46792) - you deserved it (4087)

On 08/29/2013 at 9:40am - misc - by tallguy (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was told that the $500 I'm owed for babysitting isn't going to happen. Why? Because after six months of watching a friend's six children, she's moved 120 miles away and no longer needs me. FML

Today, my barber repeatedly threatened to stab me with scissors while I was getting my hair cut. FML

#20858870
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36735) - you deserved it (4054)

On 08/29/2013 at 3:39am - misc - by oD_Ronan (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my sister announced that she and her boyfriend are getting married. Her boyfriend is my husband. We're not even legally divorced yet. FML

#20857902
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66848) - you deserved it (4025)

On 08/28/2013 at 1:47pm - love - by still together (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, tired of everyone forgetting my birthday, I traveled half way around the world to spend my 40th at a five star resort just to try and make it special. The hotel brought me a cake with someone else's name on it. FML

#20861368
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49012) - you deserved it (3993)

On 08/31/2013 at 4:16am - misc - by nevercatchabreak - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML

#20862202
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44015) - you deserved it (3914)

On 08/31/2013 at 7:48pm - kids - by embarrassedmom - United States

Today, I was playing Charades with my boyfriend's family. When it was his turn, he pointed at me. His mother said "Bitch?" The answer was "relationship". FML

#20848780
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52912) - you deserved it (3846)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:40am - love - by Embarrassed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: