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Saturday 24 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML

#20861665
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22047) - you deserved it (64880)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by criminal tit offender - United States (Alabama)

Today, my mom put me in charge of her business's Facebook. Later, I was doing homework and took a Facebook break, changing my status to "So fucking boring." I'd forgotten to log out of the business account. FML

Today, while working at a client's house, I noticed that their sliding calendar was several months off. I fixed it. Later the daughter saw and started crying. Apparently the date was the last one her mother had set it to before she died. FML

#20857966
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30767) - you deserved it (52891)

On 08/28/2013 at 2:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, whilst out shopping with my crush, I decided to jokingly try on a silly-looking dress in an overly-expensive shop. Apparently I took the wrong size as I couldn't get out. Not only did the shop assistants have to publicly cut me out of the dress, I had to pay for it. FML

#20853472
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25939) - you deserved it (41496)

On 08/25/2013 at 8:50am - misc - by jameen - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I realized I love my boyfriend's cat more than my boyfriend. The only reason we're still together is I don't want to lose custody of the cat. FML

#20859438
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26079) - you deserved it (39345)

On 08/29/2013 at 8:16pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the library. I had to use the restroom, where I ended up singing in bad, made-up Japanese the whole time. When I went back across the library, my brother informed me that everyone could clearly hear me. FML

Today, I addressed my district manager as "Dude." FML

#20859944
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18168) - you deserved it (37322)

On 08/30/2013 at 2:28am - work - by goodbyepromotion (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I bid on an item on eBay, only to find the exact item I wanted later while out in the city. I bought it, assuming I would be outbid, as always. Nope. FML

Today, my spouse asked me if I could transfer some of the passion I have for buffalo wings into our relationship. FML

Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML

#20860218
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22135) - you deserved it (32021) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/30/2013 at 6:59am - misc - by Anonyme (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got my girlfriend to play Smash Bros Brawl with me. As it was her first time, I set up handicaps to give her at least a shot at winning. She won, quite handily. A little irritated at this, I took off the handicaps and tried again. She beat me even faster. FML

#20847705
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38989) - you deserved it (23216)

On 08/21/2013 at 11:17am - misc - by Loser (man) - United States

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I was in love with his best friend. He confessed that he was too. FML

#20848315
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43714) - you deserved it (21531)

On 08/21/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by me (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I got in a heated fight and ended up being punched in the jaw. The fight was about Harry Potter. FML

#20856159
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34280) - you deserved it (19109)

On 08/27/2013 at 3:21am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)



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