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Sunday 11 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out yet another of my guy friends liked me. I posted that I just wanted a guy friend that had absolutely no romantic feelings for me. My crush volunteered. FML

#20842536
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31453) - you deserved it (61571)

On 08/18/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by fail - United States

Today, while working out in the gym, I spotted a very attractive girl. I decided to pick up the heaviest dumbbell to show off how much I could curl. She ended up driving me to the hospital because I burst into tears after tearing up my bicep and deltoid. FML

#20831608
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23248) - you deserved it (60606)

On 08/11/2013 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had an awful day and angrily threw a glass at the wall. Needless to say, I didn't feel like cleaning it up, and I took a nap, intending to do it later. I thought I would remember the bits of glass everywhere when I woke up. I didn't, but my feet soon did. FML

#20838843
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19442) - you deserved it (60273)

On 08/15/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, I was leaving my friends' apartment in my mom's car and I backed into a fire hydrant. I lied and told my mom it was a hit and run. So she called the apartment complex. They had me on video hitting the fire hydrant. FML

#20824837
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20029) - you deserved it (53680)

On 08/07/2013 at 12:21am - misc - by why me?? - United States (Nevada)

Today, my cousin texted me, asking how the chicken pizza had settled in my stomach. We got drunk last night and had pizza. I thought it was cheese; it was chicken. I've been vegetarian for 7 years. FML

#20838310
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28529) - you deserved it (44370)

On 08/15/2013 at 3:10am - misc - by Aly - United States (California)

Today, out of partying reflex, I downed Communion wine like a vodka shot. FML

#20830409
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22778) - you deserved it (44073)

On 08/10/2013 at 6:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally ran a stop sign. It wouldn't have been so bad if the stop sign hadn't been in a traffic cop's hands. FML

#20836993
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21381) - you deserved it (42810)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mum picked up a bunch of tissues that were scattered around my room. She examined them, then asked me to stop wasting her potential grandchildren. FML

#20825949
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49409) - you deserved it (40418)

On 08/07/2013 at 6:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, my dog was riding my car's passenger seat. He clambered over onto my lap, causing me to lose control of the wheel for a few seconds. As I tried to knock him off me, I lost track of my speed, and ended up being pulled over for reckless driving. FML

#20840431
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23566) - you deserved it (40077)

On 08/16/2013 at 2:41pm - animals - by fUcKOAHdSAjl (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was at a job interview for a position I really needed. Somehow, the interviewer and I started talking about fishing. I joked, "I'm a master baiter." Needless to say, I didn't get the job. FML

#20833743
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28301) - you deserved it (39542)

On 08/12/2013 at 1:11pm - work - by master baiter - United States (New York)

Today, I realised that I've never been able to successfully cook a meal outside of World of Warcraft. FML

#20841839
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23893) - you deserved it (36287)

On 08/17/2013 at 3:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Thailand (Nonthaburi)

Today, I found out why my doctor told me not to mix pain killers with alcohol when I was told that last night I tried to convince a group of teenage tourists that I was one of the nitwits from One Direction, and then got miffed when they laughed at me. FML

#20832639
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17249) - you deserved it (35218)

On 08/11/2013 at 7:23pm - health - by JustSayNo - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my mom came into my room to give me a goodbye kiss. Due to the routine of my girlfriend doing the exact same thing in the exact same spot, I held the kiss way longer than what a mother/son kiss should last. My mom actually had to tell me to "let go". FML

#20839296
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34412) - you deserved it (26802)

On 08/15/2013 at 9:06pm - misc - by deadman (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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